To be put out that my friend is asking me to pay her money?

[Sundaycoffee]

I was given a very nice perk through work for myself and a plus one for an all expenses paid trip, it included hotel, all food and drink and entertainment for the value of £400 per person and I chose to take a particualr friend. My friend kindly drove us there and back (Bristol to London). She text me today asking me to transfer her half of the petrol money for the trip (£20)
AIBU to think if someone had done the same for me I would let the petrol money slide?

You are giving people the tickets to something people will enjoy (or go on their own)

I'd assume me attending a trip to London with a friend was me doing them a favour. Keeping them company. I don't see I'd then have to pay all the travel costs myself for that favour. Costs should be split.

Agree with this so much. I don't think most of those people actually have normal, healthy relationships with friends and family in RL

Haven’t RTFT so this has probably already been suggested but I would send her a simple text saying something like “Are you sure? I was surprised to get this request after I’d shared my reward from work with you.”

You must think a lot of yourself if you think the offer of your company is doing someone a favour! I’d rather take someone with me who was a genuine friend and liked spending time with me.

They would have had to pay for food and drink at home.

It's a trip to London!
Not say a holiday to vegas.

One assumes sharing a room with your friend, sone food and maybe a threatening ticket to a show not of your own choosing.

Very different to being given day a free item that has sone resale value.

It's a very odd work gift! Unless they own hotel chains.

Come off it, going on an all-expenses paid trip including a hotel, all food and drink and entertainment is you doing someone else a favour? I'm not sure whether that's fantasy, arrogance or a mixture of both, but it certainly bears no resemblance to the way any reasonable person would think.

Bloody hell at some of these replies! My Mum always said “Neither a borrower nor a lender be” which is good advice, but CHARGING someone £20 when they GAVE you a FREE weekend away is cheeky fuckery of the first degree. The fact OP didn’t pay for the weekend doesn’t change anything, she GAVE the extra place to her friend.

"Take the £20 out of the £200 you owe me".

I'd be sorely tempted to reply 'are you for real?' and arrange for the £20 to be delivered to her in 1p pieces. And then never invite her to anything again.

What do you plan on doing OP? come back and tell us!! I'm very invested in this thread.😂

I have a cousin (none of us like her and avoid her). She's someone who will get a 'buy one get one free' movie ticket, so most people would split the cost of the other, but no, she'll go for free and let the other person pay. It's embarrassing 😳

But OP earned the perk, and chose to gift it to the friend.

It did "cost" her all those hours of work!

I suppose as I live in London I don't see the huge excitement in a trip to London

Now it's different if a friend was offered a £800 trip and together we planned where to go and what to do. Then I'd see it as a gift to me.

But if a mate just was given a weekend away and tickets to something not of any of our choosing then I'd think I was doing them a favour by coming along. (Obviously if say Beyoncé that's more exciting than a ticket to say Coldplay)

But we don't know how this trip away was organised.

It's not really all expenses paid of you have to pay for own travel to get there (and would have cost far more than £40 if they got the train)

OP's post strongly suggests that restaurants and entertainment were their choice. But even if they weren't, If you're so mean-spirited as a friend to quibble about not being given free travel, and moan about what's on offer when you get there, then obviously the answer is not to accept the invitation and leave it for someone who will genuinely enjoy it.

I'd also be inclined to do this. Plus she's not be someone I'd consider the next time I had another similar event to share. 🌹

Surely she should be the one coming round with chocolates and flowers today to thank you for your kindness, not asking for petrol money!

Ah here, how can you actually spin getting a free weekend away as doing someone else a favour 🙈 how very selfless of you!

Okay a bit different then. I suppose me and friends often get tickets to corporate hospitality so take various friends along to keep us company.

All expenses paid usually includes travel costs too. She may have genuinely thought your work had covered the cost and that she was just asking for a share of that. I would just transfer it personally, if she's asking for it she clearly needs it.

I think things probably key. I live it a world where tickets are often floating around and they're not always easy to get rid of. People do often take them just to see them used/fill the seats rather than because of any burning desire to see the event or to keep someone company who is obliged to go becuase of their work. If you don't live that life this is a huge treat to be grateful for. If you're often asked to do these things, it can be a favour.

Not everyone's life is the same, hence the varied responses.

You think you'd be doing them a favour by going with them, on the free weekend away, dinner, drinks, hotel and gig. So instead of viewing the free holiday as a gift, you view yourself as the gift.

Tell me a bit more about how that works?

I'm going to go against the grain here an say I don't think she's being unreasonable. You didn't pay for the trip, your work did, so you aren't out of pocket at all whereas she's £40 down.

You don't mention travel being included in the package, so presumably if she hadn't driven then either you would have driven, thus spending £40 in petrol yourself, or you both would have got the train (spending anywhere between £20 and £100 each depending on the times and dates iirc).

The way she's expecting to do it, you're both paying the same amount.

Your trip was a freebie. It didn't cost you anything.

You should split the petrol with your friend.

I have worked for a long time in an industry where perks like this are the norm, more so in the nineties before austerity measures kicked in, and there was a lot more money flying about on ostentatious holidays as prizes, and sales rewards, and for customer loyalty trips.

So you could say I also live in "a world" where this is the norm. I don't however live in a world where, when someone offers me something that I will benefit from, which is optional and I choose to accept, fail to show gratitude and the basic good form to contribute in some way to acknowledge the gesture, nor would I ever, or have I ever had someone be as rude as to ask me for £20 petrol money.

But I don't and never would hang around with people that would, none of my friends would dream of doing this, and neither would I. Different circles, as you say.

Well it would be keeping them co pant so they enjoy it?

I'd assume they would not want to do it alone and so want someone to come along.

Not that they particularly picked a trip that they really thought I'd particularly want to go on.(which would be a different story)

If a mate says they had free tickets to say Coldplay (who neither of us are fussed by) I'd go along to keep them company. Unless we knew a third person who loved Coldplay.

As I say it's a weird work park -giving them cash (which is taxable). But had to be spent in a certain way on a trip to London. But not including any travel costs. (Hence assuming work for a hotel chain)