To be put out that my friend is asking me to pay her money?

[Sundaycoffee]

I was given a very nice perk through work for myself and a plus one for an all expenses paid trip, it included hotel, all food and drink and entertainment for the value of £400 per person and I chose to take a particualr friend. My friend kindly drove us there and back (Bristol to London). She text me today asking me to transfer her half of the petrol money for the trip (£20)
AIBU to think if someone had done the same for me I would let the petrol money slide?

French. 😂

So you wouldn't have expected OP to pay petrol money? And you'd have also contributed financially in other ways over the weekend? And then sent a gift and a card.

But OP should have offered petrol money, and her friend isn't a cheeky fucker for asking because she didn't? You silly sausage.

Well you will soon learn that treating friends to work trips gets you precisely no where. I regret putting friends first, they all ended up preferring other people.

Rude

Would have preferred spending the trip on my own than with such company. It would have been bliss.

It's not silly - it's the assumption that bothers me and the assumption that is rude. I'd have been more than surprised, I'd have been a bit pissed off.

I don't think the friend should have asked for petrol money, but I think it was rude of the OP not to have offered it.

This is what I’m thinking. From her point of view, you paid nothing and she’s paid for travel expenses. I think, even though she might be a little bit cheeky, you should pay her half the cost to get there.

The friend could have said she didn't want to come on the free £400 trip. There was no obligation to take the free £400 trip.

What does your friend do in terms of work? What is her living situation like? You say she has a better car than yours - why is this? Is it a lease car? How long have you known this friend?

Without knowing anything about this friend's background it's hard to make a judgement on this: £40 is a lot of money if you're living on a really strict budget. All expenses paid trip means you didn't pay for anything...

But she doesn’t owe it.

She's a tight cheap bitch. Pay her the £20 and never invite her out again.

She is £360 up.

Nah, she's really not.

😂

She has been given an experience worth £400 and it's cost her £40.

I think the friend is a CF.

A work perk is earned even if it isn’t paid for in cash. Sharing it with someone is a generous gift.

My sister sometimes gets freebies through her work. She’s given me a couple of really lovely £100+ items (that she got for free) as birthday gifts in the past. We’d normally only spend about £40-50 on each other. I was delighted with the items. She earned them through the work that she does and it was very generous of her to give them to me rather than selling them on or keeping them for herself.

When she took me to an event she’d been sent free tickets to, I paid for dinner.

Something like this has a value, regardless of whether OP paid for it personally with money or earned it as a perk. It’s odd to me that someone wouldn’t recognise the value of the gift they’ve been given just because the person giving the gift didn’t pay for it directly.

Oh. I would have offered petrol money. You were always going to incur a cost to travel there. I wouldn’t sit there and watch a friend hand over forty pounds to drive me somewhere.

She's really not. She wouldn't have spent it if she hadnt had it free.

OP needed someone to go with her and invited her friend. In friend's place I wouldn't have asked for petrol money, but I don't know friend's situation. I would definitely have offered it in OP's situation.

Who would you have taken if friend had declined OP? I find these freebies aren't always that easy to get rid of, especially if it's going to need time off work or incur costs on top of the "free" trip. So there might be an element that friend was doing OP a favour too.

The OP earned the perk through her job. She didn’t get it for “nothing”.
OP, I’ve had similar friends in the past and dropped them for taking the p1ss.

I'm not sure that "doing someone a favour" would commonly be the motivation for accepting the invitation to go on a free holiday.

tell her you will take it off the 200 she owes you.

I think I would pay the £20. But no, I dont think you are BU to think she should have let that go. Of course she should have.

Can I ask, did she express/show much gratitude for the free trip ?

Except she wasn't handing over 40 pounds to drive her friend somewhere.

She handed over £40 to go on an all expenses paid trip that her friend shared with her.

Exactly this!

I've definitely had my arm twisted to accompany someone on a free trip/take a spare ticket several times in the past.

I wouldn't ask for petrol money, but definitely I've done it when a friend (or even an aquaintance) was struggling to find someone to go with them. If my financial situation was different I might need my costs covered to make it possible.

I've also had friends say to me "I don't really fancy it/the date doesn't really work, but let me know if you don't find anyone".