Hello all just after others people's perspectives on this. Ive always found my MIL a bit prickly. Just to give some context my first memory when I was seeing DH was her storming into the lounge after I had done the washing up shouting 'who did the washing up? ' I replied meakly that it was me and she said 'I hate people who put wet washing up on top of dry washing up' and stormed off. I remember thinking at the time I'd never marry my husband because I'd have her as a MIL..well here we are! Anyway it's been much of the same sort of prickly comments ever since but I've brushed them aside because I really want our sons to have their family around them and they love it when they see their grandparents. However since her husband passed away she's on her own and now comes and stays every weekend. Now I am all for this, as I said I love the idea of her being a big part of our children's lives, however I am just getting worn down with the comments and feeling like I'm not good enough, not only in her eyes but in general. She makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm failing at parenthood /life. My mums petrified of her so tends to avoid coming over if she's here. My husband tends to hide or goes off to do something else leaving me to look after her. (He spent his life at boarding school so they don't have a close relationship, he's had counselling in the past to overcome some issues with his lack of a relationship with her which has helped him but he now just completely ignores her! She never calls him she calls or texts me). I really don't want to have a confrontation with her because I think it will cause upset and I honestly don't think she knows any different or maybe she doesn't realise how she's coming across (plus I'm also petrified of her). Sometimes I think I'm being too sensitive, am I? Yesterday when she was here the comments included
'who did the washing up' (me) ' 'you've not done a very good job'.
'Are you going to feed your poor dog' (looking at a fat Labrador drooling')
'You really need to wash your car it's filthy'
Talking about electric cars 'it would be terrible if you ever got one, you need to be organised to keep it charged up'. It's hard to get across how she says it but it's like an attack or dressing down each time.
I honestly think she just does not like me. I've got to the point where I'm going to have to reduce how often she comes over but how do I ignore her when she is here! It's just so annoying because she is self sabotaging herself, I'd love nothing more than to have her around but she can't seem to bite her tongue.