To have taken the money I'm owed at work?

[Housekeeperbatcocoa]

Per my username, I'm a part time housekeeper in a private house for an older lady. I'm in my mid 20s, she's in her 60s. She is very well off and wants for nothing. (Example - she spent almost £300 on clothes in Next without blinking)

Last Wed, she asked me to take her to the park. The ticket machine for parking was broken so i paid through RingGo. It cost £4. (I'm paid £11/hr for context)

I told her how much it had cost and she said she'd give me it when we got back to the house. Reminded her when we got back and she made an excuse of having no change. I was late for the school run so had to dash off so didn't get it on the Wed. I asked again on the Thur and she made a excuse again and got a bit short with me so I left it.

Today I asked again and was again fobbed off. I know four quid isn't a lot in isolation, but it's nearly half an hour's wage so feels a lot. I'm a single parent and money is often a bit tight. I took the money from the change jar and left a note as a reciept.

I feel bloody guilty though and like i should just let it go but it's my youngest's birthday this weekend, I'm tight on money and she did honestly owe it to me.

Wibu?

Why did she say she had no change if there's a change jar?

Minimum wage is 10.42. you're not being paid enough for self employed work.

I understand 100% where you’re coming from, but it’s really not worth the risk of taking without asking.

I would create an invoice and list all the items.

I would a note to the invoice saying that until it is settled you are unable to provide further credit.

This will cover you legally to some extent too as it is a formal request for payment.

Take the change jar to her along with a breakdown of what she owes you. Put it in her lap. Say “Right Audrey Fforbes Hamilton let’s work out what you owe me and get me paid. I need the money”.

Never pay for anything out of your own pocket again.

If it's her car and registered to her, then the fine will go to her. Next time, don't pay for parking for her. A couple of tickets and she'll soon be putting her hand in her pocket for parking.

A minor point but if she needs more than one prescription per month, she should get a prepaid card as it works out cheaper.

Advantage to you is that no money needs to be handed over when you collect her medication.

They'll be free won't they?

Of course it's not stealing! Drama llamas are out in force. She owed it to you. She lied and said she didn't have change, when she did. You were owed the money you took it and left a note. Why worry what she thinks, when she has no such worries about you. She's taking the absolute piss, she knows it, you know it, but it carries on regardless.

@AutumnCrow prescriptions are charged for if @Housekeeperbatcocoa is in england

She's taking the piss
I would be looking for a different job.
Meanwhile, say you would like to talk to her and then explain that you cannot afford to pay for her parking or whatever else she is expecting you to pay for and that she needs to pay for that herself.
If she gets angry, tough, just keep telling her you can't afford it.
And then if you do go out to the park, just keep repeating that you don't have the money and you also can't afford to use an app to pay. And don't pay.

I believe that the OP's employer is in her 60s and not in England, from what OP has posted?

I think she meant 'in charge of her prescriptions' was a lot of responsibility. Which it is!

But yes, the pre-payment certificates are very good things to know about, for sure.

Invoice her or simply refuse to pay.

I had this in one job it was always “take the money out of petty cash” but if the money exceeded what was left in the petty cash box and my boss ended up not topping it up then I was expected to pay. After a couple of times where we had lots of post costs, plus usual kitchen shopping coming out of my salary I said I wouldn’t do it again unless the money was there first and my boss became really strict on making sure petty cash was topped up! I did also ensure that certain items like tea, coffee, dried milk etc was ordered via our stationery company which I hadn’t thought of before.

Oh, sorry, missed the point about the OP not being in England, but she talks about paying for prescriptions, so can't be in Scotland/Wales? where they're free for everyone.

What did I just read?!

So prescriptions are FREE in Scotland and Wales?!!

WTF, that’s so unfair

Next time ask her to put some coins in the car for parking.
Make sure there are always coins there. If there aren't then go back in the house and get some.
If the parking machine is broken, don't offer to rescue her by paying it yourself, tell her the APP isn't working on your phone.

Also, look at your own resentment.
Just because she ended up more with money than you doesn't mean that you are entitled to her money. It just makes you have a bad attitude.

You are projecting your anger at the world on her.

She did nothing wrong. Somebody worked hard at some point for her to end up being wealthy. Maybe even doing shittier jobs than you'll ever have to do.

Stealing any money even a one pound coin is theft.

@Housekeeperbatcocoa

I'm sorry your in this situation

It's really not fair of her nor nice way to look after your staff.

I would be firmer and just say at the end of your next working day that you feel that it could be awkward between you both due to her not remembering to give you the parking back even though you e reminded her.

I would say it's nearly half an hours pay for you and not to make it personal at all but your already on a low rate so due to the cost of living you've decided your hourly rate needs to be higher and actually put it up.

Keep it factual op and remember to her it's just business,a service your providing

If you hadn't left a note, I would be screaming Thief. If you haven't told her already you should and explain that you needed the money back. Be interesting to hear her reaction and if you still have a job.

@Andanotherone01 is quite right - I hope you are not using your car, and if she won't pay for parking - there's a change jar, remind her she has to bring the money with - then a ticket will be an excellent wake up call.

You do need to have a word with her, though. If she thinks she can do better than you for £11 an hour, let her try.

This^.
And look for a nicer employer- one who is honest and pays their way.

have asked her. Multiple times. And been fobbed off every time.
She could genuinely not have change in her purse. (I never have cash) . When she said she didn't have any cash why didn't you just ask if you could take it from the change jar rather than just take it?

Take your £4, tell her you have done and then put £20 or so of her cash in the car as a "petty cash float" and inform her you have done so for future situations like this so you can be immediately reimbursed if needed.

CAn you leave half an hour early? Tell her as she is not paying you, you will be taking time back in lieu?

I don't agree with posters harping on about OP taking the money back as it being "theft". It's the old lady who's thieving from the OP!
OP, I can just imagine your employer - I had similar with a family I worked for when I was younger. I was their live in nanny and they were also millionaires (or at least lived/portrayed that kind of lifestyle). The woman thought nothing of asking me to pay for cab rides in London because she "didn't have any cash", and didn't pay anything back. The husband thought nothing of delaying my salary every single time, when reminded he'd say that of course he would pay but another week would pass and I'd have to ask again and again. Funny when they mentioned their previous nanny, they said they'd let her go because she was "stealing" from them. Not hard to imagine she may also have paid herself back out of their money jar.
I loathe this sort of CF's who not only lack consideration for others, but actively and purposefully steal from them - because that's exactly what your employer has done, STOLEN from your wages!
Please for your own good find another job and leave this despicable lady.

Presumably no matter how sh1tty her ancestors' jobs were, they got paid for them, though!

What an unpleasant person you come across as - there isn't any resentment in @Housekeeperbatcocoa 's posts - just concern that she will end up working for nothing when she has a family to support.

And she didn't steal - she collected a debt.

Because she was out with the vet for the horses.