DH dumped kittens on me

[Kitcatkins]

Long story short, DH took in some stray kittens that would otherwise have died. I agreed on the basis that he was the sole caregiver - I don't like cats and don't have time for them.

Of course, increasingly, they are becoming my responsibility as DH asks me/leaves me to do stuff for them. I'm particularly pissed off this morning as I got up early to work and he heard them smashing some glass so texted me to clean up as he is still in bed.

If I had the choice I'd take them to the animal shelter for rehoming, but we have young children and their dad has promised we can keep them.

What should I do? Either I'm stuck with the burden of animals I don't want, or I break my kids' hearts.

When they’re no longer kittens they will be very independent so won’t need you.

They won't need you to play with them as much. They still need you to feed them, clean up, buy the food, remember, organise and take them to vet appointments etc etc. That's a lot of work that you did not sign up for, but will clearly end up doing, as DH won't.

As PPs have said, the local shelters and rescues are probably full to the brim with kittens (they are certainly are round here). They will not be advertised as there though as most of them are not ready for adoption. However there is also normally a list of people waiting for kitten adoption.

DH was daft to think that four cats is feasible. Split them into two pairs. Keep one pair and give the other pair to a family who want two kittens. This will make it easier for the kids to part with them, knowing that they're with a sibling.

And agree with the PPs who said put kittens in room with a 'the glass is there til you clear it up'.
That way no one gets hurt but neither are you doing what he should be.

I absolutely adore kittens and we have one at the moment, so I come from a place of complete love when I say: rehome all of the kittens asap!

It's a huge commitment, maybe 20 years! And cost, and work. They don't even stay cute kittens forever, they become big cats and drag dead animals into your house, break things and get into fights leading to massive vet bills. All of these things are fine if you love cats, but you have already said you don't really like them.

You already (justifiably) resent the cats, how are you going to feel 10 years from now when you're still lumbered with taking care of cats you never even wanted.

Your kids will get over it. In a year or so get them a hamster, they only live a couple of years. 🐹

Come on now @Kitcatkins, you really need to address why you're such a people pleaser. Your husband comes home with not one, not two, not three - but FOUR animals you don't want and you say yes?! You do stuff when he asks because you 'don't want to be a bitch'? Do you think you're not allowed a life or something?

I can tell you if my husband tried this it would be a hard no - I don't want cats in my home. But as you now have them, you need to have a hard conversation which I guess you're not willing to have lest your husband sulks.

This is madness OP. Stop letting people walk roughshod all over you.

Love this 😻😻

Let’s be totally honest here.

He did not swing on a rope like Spider-Man and rescue four little mewling wide eyed kittens about to be swept to their death over a raging waterfall. He somehow found/ was given in the pub/ got taken in by a sob story , four kittens, and instead of doing what any rational sensible person would do and contacting a rescue centre who would health check them , de flea them, worm them , neuter them and then rehome to willing homes he brought them home because he wanted to look like a hero to his seven year old. But now the glory of being a hero has dimmed and the reality has kicked in , and he is not facing up to the practicality of owning and caring for four kittens let alone four cats for possibly the next 20 years.

For the cats sake start calling round OP and find a centre willing to take them on, you could even offer to given them a donation to sweeten the deal, it will be a damn sight cheaper than the expense you will otherwise have over the length of their lives.

And maybe your arse lazy husband will realise that he can be a hero to a seven year old by getting up on a Sunday morning and taking the kids to the park or a cafe for breakfast.

@Kitcatkins children tend to want to be more involved with cute little kittens and puppies, as they grow up, maybe not so much.

Ask yourself a serious question about the amount of admin and chores associated with owning an animal and then reflect on how long a cat can live. Ours was 18 when we had to make the sad decision his health was no longer viable for him.

That's a very log time to be chief carer for animals that you didn't want in the first place.

Cats are lovely. Keep the cats, re-home the husband. If my husband text me from bed to do a domestic chore he’d be made in to cat food by dinner time.

At clearing up after them and if he's around you don't feed them

How many are there?

And I hope he's getting them neutered PDQ

Not to mention vaccinations and insurance

I agree that cats are expensive, we’ve incurred hundreds of pounds worth of costs through having our cats and they’re insured. Spay/neuter/microchip/yearly vaccinations/flea/worm/vet fees/food/insurance are all costs you will have to incur and it will be a significant amount for four cats. It’s great you were able to help initially but maybe it’s a case of being realistic and if you’re not able to meet their needs (we’ll your DH in this case) it is unfair on them to keep them.

4 x vaccinations
4 x insurance
4 x spay/neuter operations
4 x cats to feed
4 x cats to provide litter trays and litter for
4 x cats to look after into old age

That's hardly "not needing" the OP. Looking after pets properly is expensive and time-consuming. If you can't commit to it, you shouldn't have them.

This could literally be sorted today.

Phone a few rescue places see if they can take the kittens on. Then text DH and tell him that his choice is that kittens stay or you do, that he said he would do the looking after and he has done nothing- can't even clean up after them.

Do it now whilst they are still cute and desirable kittens as that's what is best for them as much more likely to get a new home fast.

I reluctantly agreed to DH getting a dog 5 years ago.To be fair he does most of the heavy lifting, but when he goes out or goes away obviously dog still exists and like you I can't see an animal poorly looked after. We have this for another 5-10 years. Cats live longer, 4 is a ridiculous number even if you wanted them anyway. Don't be me, get them out whilst you have a chance to do so.

I would contact one today, then another if they are full, and so on. Young kittens are much easier to rehome than one year old cats.

I'd pick the kittens up and march upstairs with them and put them on his bed and tell him there's broken glass downstairs so he needs to sort it before putting them back down.

Tell him about the post above referring to the RSPCA saying £1500 per cat per year. That's £6 grand a year for four cats, is he really prepared to pay that out of his money or are the whole family supposed to go a bit short on everything to cover this?

I'm not even sure if that also covers things like cat sitting/cattery if you go away, typically £15-20 per cat per night. So even a weekend away (3 night in cattery as they need to be dropped off & picked up during the day) would be between £60 and £80 just for that. But then again, you probably won't be able to afford go away much!

Also, prices for anything related to my cats have skyrocketed lately. My litter has doubled in price, food is up about 30-40% same with treats

I would tell DH - 3 strikes and they are out. Strike 1 was the glass this morning.

THIS

As your local shelter doesn't have any kittens, take them there to be rehomed. Your kids have a pet dog and that's enough. Don't feel bad about it, you have enough to do, tending to the needs of a man child.

Poor kittens to be dumped with someone who can’t stand them.

He really shouldn’t have brought them home on that basis.

I wouldn't have had them in the house at all, I can't stand cats! I'm impressed you've tolerated them so far, but if the local shelter doesn't have any kittens, that seems like a great option!

I adore cats. But I still wouldn't agree to 4 kittens!! Cats (and especially) kittens are so much more work than many people anticipate. I would not want more than 2 for that reason.

And as others said, there are also financial issues....

Rehoming them now, when they're still young is so much kinder than waiting.

How does a cat coat £1500 a year?