DH dumped kittens on me

[Kitcatkins]

Long story short, DH took in some stray kittens that would otherwise have died. I agreed on the basis that he was the sole caregiver - I don't like cats and don't have time for them.

Of course, increasingly, they are becoming my responsibility as DH asks me/leaves me to do stuff for them. I'm particularly pissed off this morning as I got up early to work and he heard them smashing some glass so texted me to clean up as he is still in bed.

If I had the choice I'd take them to the animal shelter for rehoming, but we have young children and their dad has promised we can keep them.

What should I do? Either I'm stuck with the burden of animals I don't want, or I break my kids' hearts.

When they’re no longer kittens they will be very independent so won’t need you. In the mean time, just keep saying no to the lazy DH!

Okay , slightly differnt angle but ..

Hats off to your DH for rescuing these kitttens . If he hadn't as you say , they'd have died .
But they need now to go into their next stage which is probably not with you .

As they mature , they'll want to go out . Keeping one cat in (when it wants to go out) is tough . Four is unthinkable !
They'll be fertile before they're old enough to spay/castrate so you risk them coming home pregnant .
The expense of four cats (especially four cats you don't want ...)

You have provided the socialisation that many stray or ferals miss . (Mine included)

Our female cat (who regards me a persona non grata ) threw a fruitbowl and a heavy glass bowl off the table . As she slipped off the table I lunged forward to stop her falling onto the broken glass , grabbing her under the armpits .
I still have the scars .

It's not fair on the kittens, on you , on your DC. They'll need to keep doors and windows shut (nightmare) to stop the little blighters escaping .

The text was probably the last straw .
You/your DH have done a good thing rescuing and raising them so far ,. They will find homes through rescue .
Good Luck .

Many of the cats shelters are full here. They won't take anymore in. So I doubt you could just take them to one. Definitely get them all done.

He's got you trained, hasn't he?

Good on him on saving them but no, he does not get to stay in bed and have you be the skivvy.

Brene Brown - read about being wholehearted and boundaries!

I need to see a photo of the offenders. The kitties that is not the DH.

Thank you for summing up my feelings 100%. Disliking cats? FFS, what’s wrong with some people. 🤣

OP, is his plan to keep them all? I love cats but they can be a lot of work to properly care for — too much work for someone who doesn’t like them. I think it would be better for them (and you) if loving homes were found for them now. It is much harder to find good homes for adult cats, lovely as they are.

I know this is a tricky thing to ask as the answer could be so subjective, but do you think you're perceived by other as soft, kind hearted and generous?

😂

How many kittens?
We want to adopt 1-2 kittens. We are in Liverpool. You could drop two of them off to us.

Your children don't need more than one kitten to not be "heartbroken"

I love cats, but absolutely no way would I have 4. We stopped having cats because I detested the smell of litter trays, ( even though cleaned daily)and at maturity, they start spraying unless you get them neutered and spayed, which is expensive. And kittens claw things until you teach them to use scratching posts. Add on food, vets fees, insurance, boarding etc, all adds up.
It was nice of your DH to save them, however he needs to step up and look after them, and a serious discussion about rehoming.

Four cats is too many even for me, a cat lover. Please find them good homes soon.

Even hardened cat lovers like me could not cope with 4 kittens. They are very hard work and destroy everything in the house. They need to be removed in twos. Tell the kids their dad wasn't looking after them properly. Let him be the bloody villain.

Then he has you exactly where he wants you...controlled by your own feelings.

Martyr.

It was good he rescued them but I love kittens and most certainly wouldn’t keep all four of them. My cat had four kittens many years ago and I was quite ready to see them go to their new homes when they were old enough to rehome even though my then young children wanted them all to stay.

I’d maybe keep one, that’s enough for a busy home unless you want house cats, in which case two would be company for one another. The rest need to go quickly either to a shelter or advertise for homes. Kittens will go fast, these days people charge £100 or so just for a basic moggy.

I never really understand why women can’t stand up to their DH’s on here.
If I didn’t want them I’d just take them to a shelter. If you want to keep one, fine, but it doesn’t sound like you want do.

Oh and he’s clears up the glass himself.

Take them to a rescue. You already have the perfect pet - your dog. Cats......eurgh.

Yes!!
What a lazy lump he is to text you from bed if he's awake he should get up especially when you're getting ready for work!

He’s NOT a great bloke for rescuing the kittens…

because he has done fuck all, except take the glory.

Cats are a pretty cheap, low maintenance pet,(compared to a eg dog, or even rabbits) but bloody hell, they do need some input. we adopted a couple of kittens a few years ago. DH is an experienced cat owner, so he planned and budgeted carefully and knew exactly what we were letting ourselves in for, but bloody hell, the costs stack up. Food, insurance, routine vet visits…. Then one developed a long term health condition that is now no longer covered by the insurance.

Seriously OP, grow a backbone, read the riot act to your H and also, get at least 2 of the cats rehomed.

You really don't want 4 adult cats if you don't like them and your dh isn't taking care of them properly. I've had 3 for the last 10+ years and it's a massive responsibility. Food, vets bills, insurance, changing cat litter, scratching furniture etc

If you don't rehome them as kittens it's going be be extremely hard to rehome them as adults

Battersea dog/cat home thinks you should budget for £1500 a year per cat: https://www.battersea.org.uk/pet-advice/cat-advice/search-cat-advice/cost-owning-cat#:~:text=Cats%20typically%20live%20for%20around,around%20%C2%A31500%20per%20year.

4 kittens!!! And he wants to keep all of them?! Bloody Hell op! He needs a reality check. Have they been to the vet yet for worming and jabs etc? Where will they go when you are away? Print off the price list of a cattery. Have they been neutered? Maybe when he sees how much four cats are going to cost it will be the bucket of cold water he clearly needs throwing at him. Also go and buy an expensive vase to replace the broken one and present him with the receipt.

The best i'd've done would be to take the kittens up to him to look after until he could clear up the glass

Find your anger and Channel it to ensuring he does all the kitten work.

Thats the thing, we are often conditioned by our parents and partners and other people to feel bad by saying no and doing things for them just to keep peace. It often so hard to break the circle.

In this instance though I think its utter cheak of him to TEXT you from his BED to tell you sort the dangerous mess out. Texting from bed would be acceptable if he was severly ill and bedbound, not because he is a lazy d*.

OP with all due respect, this is quite a worrying thread. You are letting yourself be walked all over. You are teaching your kids that you can be walked over. The expense alone (neutering, insuring, vaccinations is more than enough to say no to. Also the welfare of the kittens, I am absolutely sure that halfing the burden at least would mean they get more attention. But seriously OP you didnt want them and your DH is demanding you look after them! Seriously?

Your problem is much bigger than the kittens and I think you know that. You have a lazy arse for a dh and pander/give in to him. I love my dh but I wouldn't put his needs before mine if they were detrimental to me. You need to start using the voice you were given and start saying no. The decision to keep the kittens was never his decision to make if you are a couple it should have been a joint decision. Stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself.