DH dumped kittens on me

[Kitcatkins]

Long story short, DH took in some stray kittens that would otherwise have died. I agreed on the basis that he was the sole caregiver - I don't like cats and don't have time for them.

Of course, increasingly, they are becoming my responsibility as DH asks me/leaves me to do stuff for them. I'm particularly pissed off this morning as I got up early to work and he heard them smashing some glass so texted me to clean up as he is still in bed.

If I had the choice I'd take them to the animal shelter for rehoming, but we have young children and their dad has promised we can keep them.

What should I do? Either I'm stuck with the burden of animals I don't want, or I break my kids' hearts.

This might also be an opportunity to teach the kids about responsibility and only taking on what we can manage to handle. If you can only manage one extra pet, this is a conversation you can have with your children. Depending on how old they are, tell them that if they want the kittens, they will need to become involved in their care - not excusing your lazy husband, but it’s just that sometimes they will need things and your husband won’t be around (work, etc).

or better yet, tell your husband to have this conversation with your children

Or you could have taken the kittens to the bedroom (or shut them in any other room), and told him he could clear the glass up.

nb I prob would not have done this with my ex because I did anything for a quiet life. I understand it's not easy.

That was an easy text to respond to " No darling, you said you would do all cat related stuff. I'm up because I have to work so clean it up yourself. Toodleoos !"

Why do you “feel like a bitch” if you say no?

Does this extend to the rest of your life, or just to your marriage? It sounds really unhealthy either way.

The only options are;

The cats go
You buckle down like a good little wifey and do as you’re fucking told.
You grow a backbone and employ normal boundaries.

“nb I prob would not have done this with my ex because I did anything for a quiet life.”

is also my undoing

You say no to him, every time. I love cats but completely understand not everyone does.

In that scenario, pick the kittens up and put them in the room with him - tell him you're closing the door and leaving them with him so they don't get hurt on the glass while he waits to get out of bed.

Rise and repeat.

No, I wouldn't want cats being hurt due to neglect either. If you think your husband would allow HIS cats to be hurt due to neglect the only right thing to do is remove the cats.

The kids (actually me) wanted guinea pigs. DH didn't really. I promised he would have next to no responsibility for them. Now, 2 years on, he has next to no responsibility for them, because I'm not a liar or a pisstaker. You've already drawn a line, you need to get firm. Stop doing stuff unless it's an absolute emergency.

I would have picked the kittens up and put them in his bedroom and shut the door with a cheery, byeee!

There are more than one to skin a cat!

Take kittens up to him in bed. Shut them in room with him then he can clear up glass when he gets up.
You need to say no. Every time. Remind him they’re his responsibility.

How old are your children? And how many kittens?

And, just for information-kittens are hard to find nowadays, so a reputable shelter would be able to rehome these cats very quickly.

How many kittens 😸?

4 kittens. And my oldest child is 7 so can help but is too young for the responsibility without support.

I've looked at the local cat shelter page and they have literally no kittens. And these kittens are gorgeous but I'm too resentful to appreciate them!

Four is the best number. A shelter could rehome two together and you could keep two.

It’s so unfair. This is my dream!
but..
it’s my dream and not my DH and if I did that he’d be like ‘ fine but I’m not getting involved’ and just call me every time. We have lots of pets which he isn’t interested in ( awful I know ) and if they need anything I do it. Unless I’m out or something.
I think you just need to let him know this is responsibility. Like above my DH helps out in emergencies but he wouldn’t do the day to day.

DH and eldest DD wanted a cat, I was dead set against it as I was already working with 3 kids youngest being 15 months old. He and DD promised they would do everything for the cat.
10years down the line he maybe feeds him twice a week, never plays with him and I don't think he's ever changed the litter tray. DD on the other hand will play with him and feed him now and then but will only change the litter tray after constant nagging. In the end like the OP I do things myself because I can't stand neglect of innocent animals.
Once the cat goes to cat heaven I am not falling for the bullshit about taking responsibility for a pet and there will be a blanket ban on pets!!

‘No, they’re your cats. You sort them as you promised. I’m away out for a run/to do the shopping/to meet a friend/bathing a child.’

Rinse and repeat.

We're a multiple pet household. I have two cats, who I adore. DH loves reptiles, he has snakes, lizards, tarantulas and lots of fish. They're HIS pets, he wanted them, he deals with them. They are HIS responsibility. I will obviously look after them in an emergency, but other than that they're not my problem. He wouldn't expect me to help with them unless I really had to.
I would definitely be getting him up in your position!

Keep two, rehome two. Four is a lot!

Your a good person op because they would’ve cut their paw pads to ribbons on broken glass without you.

Though, honestly 4 cats is ridiculous when it wasn’t enthusiastically agreed by anyone. I’d take them to a shelter and tell the kids they went to their mum/forever home and you were fostering etc. You should not be held hostage by this.

You don't like cats but you've agreed to cats living in your house

That was your first mistake

Your DH is being totally unreasonable. Id be pretty pissed off if anyone dumped puppies on me as I'm a cat person.
Tell him he either steps up and looks after them or they will be rehomed.