To feel pissed off that everyone is spelling my new baby’s name wrong?

[Algor1thm]

We’ve named our new baby a name which has several legitimate and well used spellings. The spelling we’ve gone with is actually the original spelling, but is the second most popular spelling in use in the UK currently. Think Isabelle versus Isabel for example. It’s not a made up or unknown spelling, and is completely phonetic. The name itself isn’t particularly unusual.

Almost everyone is already spelling the baby’s name wrong - over half of our new baby cards are spelt wrong. I’ve literally texted people “meet baby ‘Isabelle’” and right below they’ve written something like “congratulations, ‘Isabel’ is beautiful” etc.

I knew the spelling would be an issue going forward but I sort of expected people might be able to read what I’d written and spell it right the moment they were told the name. It’s probably just my hormones, but AIBU to think it’s quite rude not to make the effort to spell the baby’s name correctly in the new baby card?

Why the duck should I apologise? It’s clear what I meant.

See what I did there 😉

It's not clear when your phone decided to autocorrect Ailsa for Alisa. They are totally different names. My words to you weren't offensive.

I have a name that is not popular, or very common at all. It has two usual spellings.....but my spelling is a very lesser known third way of spelling it (thanks mum). So for my 40+ years on this planet, when people have written my name, I would estimate that at least 75% of the time they've spelt it wrong. Annoyingly, this very often happens on work emails, when people are responding to an email I've sent them where my name is VERY CLEARLY on there and spelt correctly. I always find it very frustrating. But you do get used to it. Because of this, I absolutely always make sure that when I email/text/write to anybody in any situation, whether its a work email or a WhatsApp in a group chat, I always spell people's names correctly. Your daughter will probably always be frustrated by this, but will just get used to it!

It’s crystal clear that it was an autocorrect issue when you consider that the comment I was replying to had Ailsa rather than Alisa.

It’s also pretty clear given that I used the names correctly in my first response to you. Then, in my second response to you, I explain that my phone must have autocorrected it. You then continue to mansplain the differences in the names Ailsa/Alisa (even after I explain that I am Scottish and my friends child is called Ailsa, and that my phone has obviously autocorrected it)

I have a name that can end in y (most common) or ie. I’m lucky most people spell it the more common way but I also find it rude when people don’t. I personally make an huge effort to try and spell and say names correctly… I understand why you’re upset OP.

I find name posts so annoying when the name is never posted.

YANBU. There are a few people who still persist with misspelling DD2's name, despite me correcting them each and every time. She's 14 now, so it's been going on for a long time! I think it's disrespectful for someone to continually misspell a name when they have been repeatedly advised of the correct spelling.

Personally, I'd say Ailsa like "spillage on aisle four", but I had misspent youth.

No @Newname211 it wasn't clear at all. Your phone corrected Ailsa for Alisa, and turned it into two different names - which we now know. I said that Alisa and Elsa were totally different names, and that it could be forgiven that Ailsa and Elsa could be confused. Wtf have I mansplained to you?

If it’s a name with multiple spellings then you’ll have to get used to this.
It often happens to me. I send emails with my name signed as Gail and an official signature below with the name Gail only for people to reply “Dear Gayle”. Some folks just don’t seem to have attention to detail!

I am sorry that you find it difficult to understand. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you. Have a nice day.

Enjoy your evening too @Newname211.

We are Irish and live in Ireland and we named our eldest a relatively common Irish name (there is an internationally known actor of the name). It is phonetic and everyone spells it correctly but we have had people pronounce it strangely in real life (we lived outside of ireland so always our friends from abroad). But to be honest it didn't really bother us as they weren't Irish and so why would they know??!!

Our second child it took us alot longer to decide because of this. We thought we had a great name cos it was a name we both loved, no fadas so no nonsense with the different Irish dialects. There are even minor Irish celebrities with same name. But noone can seem to spell it!! And sometimes pronunciation is different but that's par for the course. The spelling on some cards was laughable. So we did just that. We laughed and joked. We want him to understand that his name is important and special but that people are being intentionally malicious and just laugh it off.

You've chosen this name with good intentions and put alot of thought into it. And sometimes you don't realise until after the fact that it might cause issues. But it you spend your life getting annoyed by it then they will do. Teach them to deal with it with grace and humour.

I can't pretend it didn't really annoy us for the first three months but now we are over it!

Oh and because my name is often misspelled I always make a point to check and spell other people’s names correctly. However if someone replies “Dear Gayle” to me then I always deliberately spell their name wrongly. Totally petty but amuses me no end

I don’t think it’s a big deal personally. DH has a name where the American spelling differs by one letter. Luckily it’s pronounced the same way though. 99% of people write it the American way. He only corrects them if it’s a legal document, as otherwise it’s a bit of a dick move.

Also have one child whose name has about 4 popular variations, and all verbalised quite differently. Over the years it was hit and miss whether anyone called them their actual name. Teachers got it wrong, family got it wrong, their friends got it wrong, and now apparently many colleagues get it wrong and they are commonly known by 3 different names at work. One grandparent never got it right but used one of the other names (though to be fair, they were consistent), to the point my child suggested using it for the memorial as it just seemed ‘right’ at that point in that setting. I think if you are getting bent out of shape about some cards now, you are really in for a long haul. Personally, I’d just be like Elsa.

My manager was "it's not a big deal"
So I called him the feminine version of his name for a whole day. By the end he was yes ok it's a thing please stop it now

I have a slightly unusual name. I suggest you start getting used to it, otherwise you will spend the rest of your life being angry. 😀 If I had a pound for every email I've received where I have given my name at the end AND with my name in my email address, that has then been spelt wrong by the person replying, I'd be a very rich woman. Most people do not seem to have a good eye for detail.

People, even family still spell my name wrong, I honestly don't bat an eyelid. My daughter has an Irish name and people even MIL still spell it wrong occasionally. I don't mind, I think you're being unreasonable but probably the hormones.

All of I, DH and DD have names that can be spelled differently (in my case and DS case it's a matter of choice, DH has a Welsh name that non-Welsh people think they know how to spell but don't). We gave DD a name that we thought nobody could miss-spell. We were wrong...
You get used to it.

All four of my children have slightly unusual names. They're all proper names though, not made up. But they all get spelled wrong. I've even had one of my DCs get into trouble at school for ignoring the teacher when the teacher was calling her by the wrong name even though she had it written in front of her. (Think Andrea/Angela or Helen/Eleanor). People are busy and/or ignorant.

My MIL called my GS (her GGS) the completely wrong name for years! We stopped correcting her, eventually she got it right.

My mum, dad, brother and I have names that can be spelled at least two ways. We'd sometimes play a game at Christmas time to see which cards spelt them all wrong. I found it funny, and still do.

It's really not meant as a sleight against you/ the baby, people think they're spelling it the right way, and as such don't double check. It is hard when it's your new baby, but you'll need a thicker skin I'm afraid.

The worst is kids with double barrel names. Is it ok to just use the first name or do you use both. It always feels weird to use 2 name s, but some kids just use the first name but others use the full first name

I wouldn't worry about it, by the time they are 10 they will be used to people getting it wrong. Both DH and I have names that can be spelt alternative ways and usually are. I get far more misspelling that correct ones, I never tell people anymore they are wrong as it's not their problem my parents choose this spelling.

This kind of thing might become less of an issue as there are more and more many boys names that are also surnames. Round here every other boy is Harris or Harrison or carter or cooper or Cohen. However if your surname is John or Lee or Graham it might be best to choose a first name that's a bit more obvious. None of it really matters though - it's all part of the fun!