Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When someone steals food…

118 replies

Millymollymaisy · 09/06/2023 17:37

Just still thinking of my visit this morning to a well known coffee shop in the town, where I noticed one of the workers blocking the door and having quite a stand off with what appeared to be a homeless man.

The situation was becoming quite hostile with the worker demanding he empty the bag ( that’s when I noticed he has a shopping bag in his hand ) myself and the rest of the shop continued to watch the exchange when it became apparent he had walked in and stole some type of sanwhich roll. Just one roll.

My gut instinct was to jump up and offer to buy this man the food, but I had forgot my purse at home ( coffee date had paid ) so I looked around and noticed while everyone was happy to watch nobody had had the same thought as me .

I am not saying stealing is okay I just feel if someone needs to walk in and steal one piece of food there is a high chance they are hungry and cannot afford to eat. The whole way this man was dealt with over a sandwhich just makes me feel when did we forget about humanity? About trying to understand someone’s actions even if we don’t agree .

It just made me feel sad. I can pretty much be sure he was a homeless man by his appearance/ dress and so on but even if he had a home he was hungry.

when did we get okay with being okay with degrading and humiliating a person in a lesser fortunate situation than us ? I just wished I could have got up and paid for the food.

OP posts:
Paperlate · 09/06/2023 17:43

I'm pretty sure if he had just sat outside the shop rather than going in to steal a sandwich, someone would have bought him something to eat.

Plus what is the employee supposed to do if people just walk in and help themselves?

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 17:45

We had people stealing stuff so they couldkeep their money for drugs/drinks. Some stole for fun (yes, well dressed people).
I do not have sympathy with thieves. We were independent place and all these costed us lots of money overall.
There are charities everywhere providing food. Lots lf places have pay it forward too nowadays.

PineappleLatte · 09/06/2023 17:46

So what should the shop have done?

MargaretThursday · 09/06/2023 17:47

We've had the situation in our local café where someone who was ignored taking something a couple of times because it was thought that he needed it, came back and was terribly indignant because we wouldn't let him fill his bag with anything he wanted.

It's not always as simple as "oh just let him take it as a one off"-he may be there daily.

Bullshot · 09/06/2023 17:48

If it was an independent shop then perhaps the owner would have been present and been more lenient

in a chain though the employees have to stick to company rules - not much room for any kindness or compromise

MortgageConundrum · 09/06/2023 17:49

PineappleLatte · 09/06/2023 17:46

So what should the shop have done?

Exactly. Maybe they experience something like this everyday, maybe twice a day, maybe ten times a day - they can’t give free food to everyone.

It might also be that this person has done it before, possibly many times before.

Hesma · 09/06/2023 17:49

24601! 😢

Justleaveitblankthen · 09/06/2023 17:49

What did your coffee date person think? Could you have suggested they paid and you would pay them back if they needed you to? 🤔

Butterflybutterflies · 09/06/2023 17:50

I was in ASDA recently and saw someone stealing a few £1 own brand meat pies. I felt pity for the man and just ignored what he was doing.

FlickyCrumble · 09/06/2023 17:51

@Hesma I was thinking the same thing.

TaggySitz · 09/06/2023 17:51

Let's all walk in and take food off the shelves then eh? There's places that people can do for a meal, even sitting outside someone will generally end up buying some food or giving some change. I dont think the answer is letting people help themselves, or where would it stop?

Letitrow · 09/06/2023 17:53

He might be a frequent flier, he might have been banned for past behaviour and that was the bigger issue, it might be that staff are just doing their jobs. Its fine to say people should turn a blind eye, but where do you draw the line? They're businesses, a lot are franchises and plenty do a fair bit by donating food etc. I agree it's a travesty anyone is going hungry, I don't agree it's the job of a coffee shop to let people take what they want.

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 17:53

I don't think the OP is condoning stealing, just saying they could've dealt with it in a more sensitive and less embarrassing/public way?

ReachForTheMars · 09/06/2023 17:54

I get your sentiment but shops cant just let people steal. Once a day, twice a day, a thousand times a day. And the employee - its either part of his job to sell food or he may own it. Is the problem that it's a chain? That no individual volunteered to pay instead? We dont live in a perfect wholesome world.

ReachForTheMars · 09/06/2023 17:55

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 17:53

I don't think the OP is condoning stealing, just saying they could've dealt with it in a more sensitive and less embarrassing/public way?

What is a more sensitive way?
Employee: you've stolen sandwich, please pay or give it back (assuming its unopened and sealable
Thief: I paid/I want pay

What then?

WetBandits · 09/06/2023 17:56

ReachForTheMars · 09/06/2023 17:55

What is a more sensitive way?
Employee: you've stolen sandwich, please pay or give it back (assuming its unopened and sealable
Thief: I paid/I want pay

What then?

Show quote history

Discreetly asking him to come back into the shop and not making a scene in the street, maybe?

Elleherd · 09/06/2023 17:57

It's difficult isn't it.
I ended up paying for some wretched old ladies stolen tuna (for the ruddy cat!) and convincing security to let it go, but I still don't know what the answer is.
I couldn't bear it because she was so visibly down at heel and care worn, and unsurprisingly humiliated, and what she'd brought for herself was so sparse.

SherbetDips · 09/06/2023 17:58

My local pret has a regular thief, the barista pretends he doesn’t see. I like pret they support the homeless.

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 17:59

WetBandits · 09/06/2023 17:56

Discreetly asking him to come back into the shop and not making a scene in the street, maybe?

Show quote history

That is mkst likely how it startef

itwasntmetho · 09/06/2023 18:01

Hesma · 09/06/2023 17:49

24601! 😢

What does that mean?

Hesma · 09/06/2023 18:03

It’s the prison number of Jean Valjran from Les Misérables who was thrown in prison for stealing a loaf of bread

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 18:04

itwasntmetho · 09/06/2023 18:01

What does that mean?

Show quote history

Mlst likely Les miserables reference.

People never mind stealing unless it's frlm their own pockets

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 18:05

What is a more sensitive way?
Employee: you've stolen sandwich, please pay or give it back (assuming its unopened and sealable
Thief: I paid/I want pay

What then?

Not doing it in front of a cafe full of customers

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:10

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 18:05

What is a more sensitive way?
Employee: you've stolen sandwich, please pay or give it back (assuming its unopened and sealable
Thief: I paid/I want pay

What then?

Not doing it in front of a cafe full of customers

Where do you suggest does it once the thief has ran off.

Sundaystorm · 09/06/2023 18:11

Don’t assume he’s homeless or hungry. It’s a little business empire. We have one in our town, a whole community of people claiming to be homeless, when in actual fact they have a home and a drug problem. They make their situations sound worse than they are. I bought a couple of them a subway lunch as they were begging by the parking machine. As I walked away from them I heard one tell the other they’d picked a great spot and were raking it in (his words not mine).