Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When someone steals food…

118 replies

Millymollymaisy · 09/06/2023 17:37

Just still thinking of my visit this morning to a well known coffee shop in the town, where I noticed one of the workers blocking the door and having quite a stand off with what appeared to be a homeless man.

The situation was becoming quite hostile with the worker demanding he empty the bag ( that’s when I noticed he has a shopping bag in his hand ) myself and the rest of the shop continued to watch the exchange when it became apparent he had walked in and stole some type of sanwhich roll. Just one roll.

My gut instinct was to jump up and offer to buy this man the food, but I had forgot my purse at home ( coffee date had paid ) so I looked around and noticed while everyone was happy to watch nobody had had the same thought as me .

I am not saying stealing is okay I just feel if someone needs to walk in and steal one piece of food there is a high chance they are hungry and cannot afford to eat. The whole way this man was dealt with over a sandwhich just makes me feel when did we forget about humanity? About trying to understand someone’s actions even if we don’t agree .

It just made me feel sad. I can pretty much be sure he was a homeless man by his appearance/ dress and so on but even if he had a home he was hungry.

when did we get okay with being okay with degrading and humiliating a person in a lesser fortunate situation than us ? I just wished I could have got up and paid for the food.

OP posts:
Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 18:11

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:10

Where do you suggest does it once the thief has ran off.

Show quote history

Or refuses to calmly go aside to not cause a scene. Which they do...

GettingStuffed · 09/06/2023 18:11

I saw a homeless man walk into Gregg's, calmly pick up a sandwich and walk out with it, no-one noticed apart from me.

determinedtomakethiswork · 09/06/2023 18:11

The problem is once it's in his bag, come at the shop can't sell it anyway.

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:12

What if the cafe is struggling do you want it to close during to repeated thefts.

Noone is entitled to take stuff whatever their situation, and you wanting to jump in and pay encourages this behavior.

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:12

I am with you 100% and the person belittling a homeless guy is just morally corrupt imo .

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:14

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:12

I am with you 100% and the person belittling a homeless guy is just morally corrupt imo .

Theft is morally corrupt.

Butterflybutterflies · 09/06/2023 18:14

Sundaystorm · 09/06/2023 18:11

Don’t assume he’s homeless or hungry. It’s a little business empire. We have one in our town, a whole community of people claiming to be homeless, when in actual fact they have a home and a drug problem. They make their situations sound worse than they are. I bought a couple of them a subway lunch as they were begging by the parking machine. As I walked away from them I heard one tell the other they’d picked a great spot and were raking it in (his words not mine).

We have this on my town at the moment.

Homeless people camping outside the supermarket with duvet and lots of belongings. It looks like they are homeless and sleeping there when in-fact they aren’t.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:15

I once saw a boy around 10 years old grab two sandwiches from a petrol station shop and run. I cried all the way home. People steal sandwiches when they're hungry. It's a bloody disgrace that anyone has to do that in this world because they're not being cared for properly.

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 18:16

You rarely see the actual homeless. Don't confuse them with beggars, thieves and the druggies.

NewPinkJacket · 09/06/2023 18:16

My gut instinct was to jump up and offer to buy this man the food, but I had forgot my purse at home ( coffee date had paid ) so I looked around and noticed while everyone was happy to watch nobody had had the same thought as me.

Oh come on, you could've asked your 'coffee date' to lend you the money.

You're making out you were more caring than anyone else in the shop, yet you also did nothing except tell Mumsnet

Redglitter · 09/06/2023 18:18

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 17:53

I don't think the OP is condoning stealing, just saying they could've dealt with it in a more sensitive and less embarrassing/public way?

Or maybe he's a regular & is in stealing from them day in & day out & their sick of it

Followill · 09/06/2023 18:19

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:15

I once saw a boy around 10 years old grab two sandwiches from a petrol station shop and run. I cried all the way home. People steal sandwiches when they're hungry. It's a bloody disgrace that anyone has to do that in this world because they're not being cared for properly.

Where I live children younger than 10 steal from the local shop all the time. They're not hungry. They just do it cos they can.

I do wonder what world some MN live in when they cannot fathom some kids are just robbing little gits.

mbosnz · 09/06/2023 18:21

It's always easier to be generous with other people's time or money. A lot of businesses, even chains, are on a knife edge at the moment. Those businesses have to pay their costs, including their employee's salaries, or wages. And taxes.

I work near a pet store where a worker suffered a reasonably severe wound this week, confronting a shop lifter.

How much are businesses, employers, and employees supposed to subsidise this crumbling society?

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:21

Robbing little gits steal sweets, not sandwiches.

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:21

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:15

I once saw a boy around 10 years old grab two sandwiches from a petrol station shop and run. I cried all the way home. People steal sandwiches when they're hungry. It's a bloody disgrace that anyone has to do that in this world because they're not being cared for properly.

Surely no one is this naive

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 18:22

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:15

I once saw a boy around 10 years old grab two sandwiches from a petrol station shop and run. I cried all the way home. People steal sandwiches when they're hungry. It's a bloody disgrace that anyone has to do that in this world because they're not being cared for properly.

Cried all the way home? Really?
A lot of them aren't hungry. They steal on a dare, or because they've been fed already but just want more food. Just because well they're bored.

@Followill exactly

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:23

Unless this is an independent cafe ( which I doubt as I doubt the owner would do this publicly) then I doubt they had to do this . As a young mum ( around 20 years ago ) I worked in several cafes , motorway stops , mc Donald’s , Burger King etc . Their orders were always never physically interfere if someone is stealing something . In fact I to this day remember 2 coaches of football fans going in the resting area and stealing , breaking and throwing stuff around and all we were told to do was ignite it and keep safe . You m pretty sure the likes of Costa , Starbucks etc can have a few sandwiches stolen a day without going bankrupt since they profit 300% on each

ejbaxa · 09/06/2023 18:24

You should have asked your coffee date to pay - if you really had the courage of your convictions.

I really do not think the coffee shop should have to lose stock. Businesses need to survive. It’s easy for you to be generous with their money - but you were not willing to ask your companion.

If the homeless man had stood outside asking if anyone could buy him a sandwich, it’s very likely that within 15 mins, someone would have.

Theft of food/nappies/wipes etc is emotive. However, most of it is stolen to sell - the minority is stolen by hungry people. In this case, he probably intended to eat it though. Still, no excuse to steal from the coffee shop - as I said, people would likely buy him a sandwich.

If you think theft of a sandwich is ok, how many do you think it is ok for people to steal? Can he steal one 3x per day every day? So he has 3 meals?

Make a donation to your local charity for the homeless, rather than thinking it’s ok for coffee shops to suck up theft.

Redglitter · 09/06/2023 18:25

i once saw a boy around 10 years old grab two sandwiches from a petrol station shop and run. I cried all the way home. People steal sandwiches when they're hungry. It's a bloody disgrace that anyone has to do that in this world because they're not being cared for properly

🙄

No lots of people particularly kids steal as a sport because they're dared to or just because they're brats. Not everyone stealing food is hungry.

Just like not everyone stealing formula has a baby in need

NewPinkJacket · 09/06/2023 18:26

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:23

Unless this is an independent cafe ( which I doubt as I doubt the owner would do this publicly) then I doubt they had to do this . As a young mum ( around 20 years ago ) I worked in several cafes , motorway stops , mc Donald’s , Burger King etc . Their orders were always never physically interfere if someone is stealing something . In fact I to this day remember 2 coaches of football fans going in the resting area and stealing , breaking and throwing stuff around and all we were told to do was ignite it and keep safe . You m pretty sure the likes of Costa , Starbucks etc can have a few sandwiches stolen a day without going bankrupt since they profit 300% on each

You m pretty sure the likes of Costa , Starbucks etc can have a few sandwiches stolen a day without going bankrupt since they profit 300% on each

How do you know this guy doesn't steal regularly? How do you know he wasn't the 2nd/3rd/4th to steal that day?

I don't really think you've thought your post through.

ChrisPPancake · 09/06/2023 18:26

@Millymollymaisy why if you wanted to pay for it did you not ask your date to on your behalf?

user1473878824 · 09/06/2023 18:26

everyone was happy to watch nobody had had the same thought as me.

Well seeing as you did absolutely fuck all too maybe they did have the same thought as you but couldn’t afford it, didn’t have the money just like you.

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 18:26

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:21

Robbing little gits steal sweets, not sandwiches.

And how do you know that?
I know that the kids in some areas around here egg each other on to steal. Sweets are considered too easy...

Elderflower14 · 09/06/2023 18:27

I work for a supermarket chain and we are told not to chase shoplifters.
Many years ago I was working in a large supermarket when a man ran out with a bottle of whisky. I chased him as far as the car park and then thought better of it. My manager came and asked me why I had come back and I said it was because I had a baby at home and I didn't want to be stabbed or attacked.

Megifer · 09/06/2023 18:28

Its unpleasant to see but shops can't (generally) turn a blind eye to this happening. And come on as if the guy would have said "oh yes sorry I did steal it, here you go".

Bit off to wax lyrical about people offering to pay when you didn't either. Maybe most of them came out but left their purses at home?