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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When someone steals food…

118 replies

Millymollymaisy · 09/06/2023 17:37

Just still thinking of my visit this morning to a well known coffee shop in the town, where I noticed one of the workers blocking the door and having quite a stand off with what appeared to be a homeless man.

The situation was becoming quite hostile with the worker demanding he empty the bag ( that’s when I noticed he has a shopping bag in his hand ) myself and the rest of the shop continued to watch the exchange when it became apparent he had walked in and stole some type of sanwhich roll. Just one roll.

My gut instinct was to jump up and offer to buy this man the food, but I had forgot my purse at home ( coffee date had paid ) so I looked around and noticed while everyone was happy to watch nobody had had the same thought as me .

I am not saying stealing is okay I just feel if someone needs to walk in and steal one piece of food there is a high chance they are hungry and cannot afford to eat. The whole way this man was dealt with over a sandwhich just makes me feel when did we forget about humanity? About trying to understand someone’s actions even if we don’t agree .

It just made me feel sad. I can pretty much be sure he was a homeless man by his appearance/ dress and so on but even if he had a home he was hungry.

when did we get okay with being okay with degrading and humiliating a person in a lesser fortunate situation than us ? I just wished I could have got up and paid for the food.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 09/06/2023 18:32

Your post seems a little virtue signalling OP and how convenient that you'd left your purse at home! Good job your date had some money isn't it?

Badbudgeter · 09/06/2023 18:32

Butterflybutterflies · 09/06/2023 18:14

We have this on my town at the moment.

Homeless people camping outside the supermarket with duvet and lots of belongings. It looks like they are homeless and sleeping there when in-fact they aren’t.

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This is nothing new. Twenty years ago I lived round the corner from a 24hour shop in the city centre. People took shifts, they’d get out a car, looking normal and swap places with the “homeless person”. Everything would stay sleeping bags, blankets, sign, worn paper cup. Blanket round the shoulder, sleeping bag over the legs, hat pulled low and voila homeless person in less than a minute. It made me really cynical tbh.

DarkSignOfTheMoon · 09/06/2023 18:34

Regardless of the morals of stealing, it's not the employee's place to 'investigate' the crime by demanding to see inside the man's bag.

They should call the police not pretend they are the police.

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 18:34

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 18:26

And how do you know that?
I know that the kids in some areas around here egg each other on to steal. Sweets are considered too easy...

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One corner shop nearby had kida stealing eggs so they could egg the shop windows....

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:35

NewPinkJacket · 09/06/2023 18:26

You m pretty sure the likes of Costa , Starbucks etc can have a few sandwiches stolen a day without going bankrupt since they profit 300% on each

How do you know this guy doesn't steal regularly? How do you know he wasn't the 2nd/3rd/4th to steal that day?

I don't really think you've thought your post through.

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I still maintain what I said . And having worked for those places I can assure nobody is expected to run after a homeless person . Does not come in the job description at all . Also go and check Costa cafe profits last year , you might change your mind regarding who is a criminal

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 18:37

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:35

I still maintain what I said . And having worked for those places I can assure nobody is expected to run after a homeless person . Does not come in the job description at all . Also go and check Costa cafe profits last year , you might change your mind regarding who is a criminal

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Making profit isn't criminal - if people insist on buying their crap coffee who are to tell them off...?

LaPerduta · 09/06/2023 18:37
  1. Bui virtue-signally...
  2. Sanwhich??
RunAwayTurnAwayRunAwayTurnAway · 09/06/2023 18:38

Lesson - take your purse with you when you go out, OP.

LaPerduta · 09/06/2023 18:38

LaPerduta · 09/06/2023 18:37

  1. Bui virtue-signally...
  2. Sanwhich??

Ha, Muphry's Law strikes...!

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:39

OfficerPastiche · 09/06/2023 18:37

Making profit isn't criminal - if people insist on buying their crap coffee who are to tell them off...?

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Neither is trying to survive . Some days we should trust more on our moral compass than the logical one . Not only the employee has no power to make anyone show them their bag , he is morally corrupt by doing it . Sorry , even if that guy stole 2 ,3 or 10 sandwiches previously I would still prefer to feed him than a billionaire ceo

Maireas · 09/06/2023 18:40

You went out without your purse?

Lovemusic33 · 09/06/2023 18:40

Yes it’s sad that someone’s hungry but steeling is wrong. Maybe if he went in and asked if there was anything spare they would have given him something?

Shops can’t afford to have people coming in taking things on a daily basis but they often have damaged items or close to use by date items that they maybe able to offer.

I often see homeless people in my local town and they usually have a costa coffee and/or food which people have bought them.

Londisc · 09/06/2023 18:41

Rather than worrying that you might be a bad person so posting on mumsnet that you feel sad and looking for reassurance that you are not alone and that feeling sad makes you a good person... get off your bum and actually do something.

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 09/06/2023 18:46

You might call me naive, I could call you jaded and cynical. We'd probably both be wrong. I know what I saw, this kid was on his own and terrified of being caught. Of course some people steal because they can, but some steal because they have to and it's absolutely shit. And of course it's not right and shops shouldn't just take it. But what's wrong with having some empathy?

ColdHandsHotHead · 09/06/2023 18:52

Againstmachine · 09/06/2023 18:14

Theft is morally corrupt.

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Not when social conditions force it on people.

NeedANewPhone1 · 09/06/2023 18:54

LaPerduta · 09/06/2023 18:38

Ha, Muphry's Law strikes...!

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I'm really sorry (really) but Muphry? 😁😁😁

Thesunnymood · 09/06/2023 18:56

ColdHandsHotHead · 09/06/2023 18:52

Not when social conditions force it on people.

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There are LOTS of organisations providing support and food. Plus Pay it forward places which usually work with some of these so people know where to go.
Onlh people not engaging with any chose to not engage and that doesn't give them right to steal.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/06/2023 18:58

If it’s a chain coffee shop they will have taken the money out of the employee’s salary.

these big chains treat their hospitality staff appallingly. Mitchell and butler I am looking at you.

NewPinkJacket · 09/06/2023 18:59

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 18:35

I still maintain what I said . And having worked for those places I can assure nobody is expected to run after a homeless person . Does not come in the job description at all . Also go and check Costa cafe profits last year , you might change your mind regarding who is a criminal

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Now you're changing your argument.

No coffee shop anywhere can simply allow people to walk in off the street and take what they like, when they like.

They're a business, not a foodbank no matter how much profit they make.

Scottishdreams1991 · 09/06/2023 19:01

This reminds me of a story a friend told me while she was working at a chain pub.

Two children ( not toddlers but under 10)
were caught taking left over food off empty tables including putting tomato sauce on there finger too lick off.
There parents were outside full of drink or drugs.
Kids were chucked out and parents told its not a buffet and to piss off by pub manager.

How depressing 😞

JustGeorgie · 09/06/2023 19:03

scrantonelectriccity · 09/06/2023 17:53

I don't think the OP is condoning stealing, just saying they could've dealt with it in a more sensitive and less embarrassing/public way?

How? Thieves don't tend to be reasonable ..

ClaudiaWankleman · 09/06/2023 19:04

Bullshot · 09/06/2023 17:48

If it was an independent shop then perhaps the owner would have been present and been more lenient

in a chain though the employees have to stick to company rules - not much room for any kindness or compromise

Probably the opposite tbh. There are stakes in owner-run shops. In a chain no one has to care - it’s not their job to stop shoplifting.

BounceyB · 09/06/2023 19:05

ColdHandsHotHead · 09/06/2023 18:52

Not when social conditions force it on people.

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I agree theft is morally corrupt but isn't it equally corrupt that large organisations are continuing to take large pay cheques when the rest of the country is struggling to make ends meet?

These issues were dealt with really well by Victor Hugo when he wrote Les Miserables.

Nothingisblackandwhite · 09/06/2023 19:05

BounceyB · 09/06/2023 19:05

I agree theft is morally corrupt but isn't it equally corrupt that large organisations are continuing to take large pay cheques when the rest of the country is struggling to make ends meet?

These issues were dealt with really well by Victor Hugo when he wrote Les Miserables.

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This 100% this .

LakeTiticaca · 09/06/2023 19:05

Most major towns have charitable organisations which help the homeless. The homeless in these towns will know
exactly where they are.
I see them on a regular basis queuing at the door of the charity waiting for a bag of food. Then 10 minutes later sat on the benches opposite smoking weed/drinking wine from the bottle. OP if you are so concerned about this poor chap you could always invite him into your home for a shower and a hot meal.
Erm no I thought not......