To be so upset at a strangers passive aggressive remarks (Blue Badge)

[Tryingtogetonwithit]

Today in tesco carpark loading my shopping into the car with my teen daughter a lady n the row of cars behind me exclaimed loudly while helping her elderly mother out of the car "I can't believe everyone using the disabled spaces are actually disabled, look they are leaving now should we move" she continued talking but I couldn't here but didn't stop staring at me.

For clarity I have MS I usually walk with a stick but in tesco I use trolley for balance. I drive my own car and have the audacity to go out in public and do my own shopping. I have had comments before (even one man asking me to show him my blue badge!!) today just hit deep, I don't know why maybe because I was with my daughter and didn't want to make a scene.

It's taken me years to come to terms having MS and I held out for a long time not getting a blue badge. I have been medically Retired from a job I adored and didn't pass probationary period on another due to sick leave. I am currently unemployed and looks like I will be for the foreseeable as I'm so up and down healthwise. Single mum to teens/young adults and never seen myself ever being a benefits claimer, worked from i was 15, further education, married and had kids (before divorce) it gets me down daily my life isn't what I worked so hard for.

People don't realise and or maybe don't care how hurtful a passing comment can be when you are struggling.

Sorry for the post, somehow it's been carthitic letting it go in the ether of MN lol

My partner has had a stroke because of a brain injury, he did have a lifetime PIP award but was kicked off. Now he's developed a lung condition and arthritis. He's waiting to hear about PIP. Our council bases a BB on PIP. Even though he's had a BB in the past, again it's delayed. So he has to park close to the Store, which means P&C. he also struggles to get out of the car. I know a few people who can't get a BB, so have to use P&C.

They were dicks to you-i do know someone who played the system got a blue badge when theres nothing wrong with them

just pretended they couldnt walk far and put on a limp

Try saying “I have MS, but I’m having a good day” either as an out loud response or just to yourself?
Just look at it differently and acknowledge that you are looking well on it and you’re doing fantastically! Don’t forget that you’re a parent, you’re running a household, you’re getting out and doing things with your kids.
It might illicit a more positive response or conversation, so you aren’t left thinking about how you were perceived later.
It might start a positive conversation with yourself on all the good things that you are?
Don’t think any more of it. She may be like that with everyone. She may have been in a bad mood. But, you were getting on well today, and I hope I don’t sound patronising. We all need a little help seeing the good side of our situations sometimes 💐

Re the replies about people pretending to have a limp and getting a blue badge. I worked as a homeless officer in local government ,if an applicant said they had a health issue then we actually contact the appropriate medical professional to check on the health of the applicant. Why? Because people do lie,but clearly by doing that we caught them out. As I said up thread my adult son is now severely sight impaired and has applied for a badge. He has had to send off the letter from the consultant saying exactly that. So a medical professional has given that info. I can't believe that any local authority would just dish out a badge without checking what health issue the applicant actually has.

My husband is disabled and uses 2 sticks. I am not,but I do a lot of the driving.
The amount of people who have the audacity to actually stand and share at me as I get out of the car is astounding! One man even said to me "You don't look very disabled!" ( even though I'd put a badge in the window). I replied " I'm not, thankfully. But he is" pointing at my husband as he practically fell out if the car. The man walked iffy so I shouted " I'm happy to accept your apology now!"
I know there are many people who will happily park in a disabled bay without a badge, and not give a shit about those that need the space. I like to think that Karma will get them......

i do know someone who played the system got a blue badge when theres nothing wrong with them

just pretended they couldnt walk far and put on a limp

Again. In order to obtain a blue badge you must either be in receipt of a qualifying disability benefit, the award of which is dependant on providing detailed supporting medical evidence from your own GP / consultants and passing an assessment by a qualified medical practitioner employed for that purpose; or if you are not in receipt of such a benefit, providing medical evidence from your GP and consultant then passing an assessment by a medical professional employed by the local authority for that purpose. You cannot simply "pretend you can't walk far and put on a limp".

Yes there may be a very few people who have managed to play the disability system, but to hear it told here those number in the thousands. What actually numbers in the thousands are the numbers of people with disabilities refused the benefits they should be entitled to by a system that places no values on their lives and assumes them to be liars; and those members of the public who have the same view and therefore allow and encourage that system to thrive.

I think you've misunderstood me. I was referring to BB space abuse by people WITHOUT a badge. Especially in places like retail parks with supermarkets where parking isn't policed.

One of my local hospitals is appalling, it's a fee for all.

Then yes, that is appalling and in that situation I'd be giving the registration number of the offending vehicle(s) to security for them to deal with.

The belief that the system is being abused is rife and mostly untrue. People (even other disabled people) don’t see how much of an impact these types of comments have on disabled people.

I don’t think the media helps. Look at the recent news stories about how much tax is going to support those on out of work benefits. Yes unrelated but it sets people up to view disabled people with suspicion and to see us all as cheating the system, a waste of space etc.

I don’t think the media helps. Look at the recent news stories about how much tax is going to support those on out of work benefits. Yes unrelated but it sets people up to view disabled people with suspicion and to see us all as cheating the system, a waste of space etc.

This. The insidious rhetoric that is being peddled by the media is dangerous, and should always be challenged. It has echoes of Nazi propaganda against people with disabilities as far as I am concerned. Totally encouraged by this disgrace of a Government.

My mum’s was laminated , in 1998.

It was bloody difficult to get it for her, though, and even worse renewing it, because she didn’t claim benefits ( too independent, too proud). She certainly didn’t go anywhere like ‘a spring chicken’ , I assure you.

I follow that guy too. People are so rude to him.

I don't think it's a myth

This is for London Those are just the people caught.

Completely agree.

@WiddlinDiddlin

Having a wheelchair in the car doesn't always stop it either.

I have had abuse hurled at me by two very vociferous pensioners (I know they were pensioners as they stated so, several times as if this should automatically qualify them) because I had taken the last blue badge space.

I apologised, initially thinking they had a badge, but we had simply got to the space first, we hadn't done anything sneaky, like nip in whilst they moved their car or anything!

They carried on, calling me a lazy fat cow, whilst my partner got my chair out, and eventually let slip they don't even HAVE a blue badge, just felt that blue badge spaces were also for anyone claiming an old age pension!

That is a really upsetting thing to go through - and hear about. Sadly though, as the OP and several others have said, I am not shocked by it. Same thing happened to a friend of mine when she bagged the last parking spot in the car park at a popular seaside resort last year. 2 people yelling at her that they were going for that one, and she said 'sorry but it's the only one and I do have a blue badge. Maybe another one will come up if you wait 5 or 10 minutes.'

The woman said 'doesn't look to be anything wrong with you anyway!' (She has a chronic illness.) Friend just ignored her, and her mum said 'do you want to see her letter of confirmation from the specialist to confirm her chronic illness for her?' The man just said 'chronic illness my arse. Just laziness.'

Absolutely awful, and I can't believe people say this in real life. But they do. I know a number of people who have experienced it, and I have seen it happen when I am with someone who has a blue badge. The younger you are, the more likely you are to get attacked - by people 15-20 years older plus, because they think they have more of a right to a blue badge than you.

Sadly, as the pp I have quoted has illustrated, the couple who attacked my friend last year by the beach, were also 'older..' around 70-75, and like with her, they assumed their need and right was greater and more important, because they were 30 years older than her. They parked up eventually and ALSO did not have a blue badge.

I think a small number of people who shout at blue badge users for not looking disabled enough, or for being 'too young' are on this thread.

@SweetBirdsong I do agree mostly, but can I point out that I am 66, can barely stand up without falling over (so bloody obvious disability) and I still get the same attitude and taccaks from the "entitled". I could point out that, given my age, it is almost always from people younger than me. It isn't older people that are the problem. It's some people of all ages. We have brought up generations of people who think that people with disabilities have no value at all, and are all on benefits and scroungers, fuelled on by governments that peddle the same crap. Many of us are taxpayers - some of us pay a bloody load of tax, and the blue badge is often the thing that makes it possible to pay tax!!

FGS why are people reporting the thread?

Seems like one poster reporting anyone who calls them out on their obvious lies.

Did you read this bit? " It is not uncommon for badge holders to be accused of fraud where their disability is not sufficiently ‘visible’ (e.g. if they don’t use a wheelchair) which of course causes them further anguish and brings the scheme into disrepute." In other words, as stated on this thread, it is common for people using a blue badge quite properly to be accused of fraud. I actually find it offfensive that statement has been rolled into the section on fraud - because using a badge properly and being accused of fraud improperly is not fraud. And to imply that the scheme is brought into disrepute by idiots who don't understand disability attacking legitimate blue badge users is really offensive.

Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I have sent a formal complaint about those commensta nd reported them to the Equality Commission.

I didn’t bash a disabled person. You are the one who was disability bashing and when called out on it, you suddenly remembered you have ‘disabilities’.

We have one for ASD Ds. I never use it due to abuse...as he often looks fine getting OUT the car. Its when I am trying to carry my big screaming, biting , kicking 11 yr old who if I let go will run straight into the traffic BACK to the car after meltdown that we need it...

Some people are just ignorant and idiots. They think that getting a blue badge is easy.
The reality is that you have to prove why you or someone in your family need a blue badge. For anything extra like this you fill out a load of forms, have to get medical details from a doctor or consultant and then deal with the jobsworths in X department to sort this out.
Having a blue badge can just make life a small bit easier for some people who dealing with their own or a family member medical issues.

A lady near where I live has a blue badge due to a hidden disability. She is unable to walk far distances. Having this gives her some independence. She will to drive to the nearest big town and park close by to where she meets her friends.

None of us know what people are going through on a day to day basis. Poor health or certain medical conditions can happen to people at any age. If a blue badge can make life a bit easier or give some one a bit of independence I am glad to see people getting it.

Ooh I like that one! 😆

he did get it he had a bypass about twenty years before played on that was on his notes and then the doctor signed everything for him