To be so upset at a strangers passive aggressive remarks (Blue Badge)

[Tryingtogetonwithit]

Today in tesco carpark loading my shopping into the car with my teen daughter a lady n the row of cars behind me exclaimed loudly while helping her elderly mother out of the car "I can't believe everyone using the disabled spaces are actually disabled, look they are leaving now should we move" she continued talking but I couldn't here but didn't stop staring at me.

For clarity I have MS I usually walk with a stick but in tesco I use trolley for balance. I drive my own car and have the audacity to go out in public and do my own shopping. I have had comments before (even one man asking me to show him my blue badge!!) today just hit deep, I don't know why maybe because I was with my daughter and didn't want to make a scene.

It's taken me years to come to terms having MS and I held out for a long time not getting a blue badge. I have been medically Retired from a job I adored and didn't pass probationary period on another due to sick leave. I am currently unemployed and looks like I will be for the foreseeable as I'm so up and down healthwise. Single mum to teens/young adults and never seen myself ever being a benefits claimer, worked from i was 15, further education, married and had kids (before divorce) it gets me down daily my life isn't what I worked so hard for.

People don't realise and or maybe don't care how hurtful a passing comment can be when you are struggling.

Sorry for the post, somehow it's been carthitic letting it go in the ether of MN lol

If I were you I'd have given the impression we were leaving so the woman got back in her car to use the space I was in,then I'd have just sat there for ages and ages to purposely piss her off,maybe had a picnic with the shopping I'd bought.😆

There’s a guy on TikTok who always get abuse because he drives a work van. People are so rude to him, there’s an assumption he can’t possible need a BB and work.

I was also pretty shocked to hear another tiktokker say she had to move her car from one BB space to another half way through her shift as the spaces had a 4 hour limit.

So sorry to hear this, she is ignorant. I know what a tortuous process it is to get a blue badge. I also know someone who has MS, it sucks and you sound amazing. Ignore if you can - she's the idiot here.

OP it is because you are young.

Some people don't believe young people can have disabilities even when they are obvious let alone hidden.

There is a comedian and other people on social media who are missing a feet/leg, and have taken them off when people have been nasty to them over bb parking spaces.

Be happy you're not as ignorant and stupid as them!

I would think that displaying a sticker like that is crass, and unnecessary.

For once MN has resorted my faith in humans ❤️ what a lovely bunch you are, it's made me tear up.

For those who asked the comment was 100% directed at me, they both purposely turned round to look directly at me and continued to do so tutting and muttering into the store

Usually I would have a comeback but today I'm just tired of it all and didn't want to upset my daughter she was busying herself lifting bags and putting trolley away.

I feel about 10ft tall now next person who questions it (and sadly we be a next time)I'll be better prepared with a whity quip 😂

We are just in the process of trying to get a blue badge as my son has become severely sight impaired. He can see only in peripheral vision, I really hope that if we get a badge I don't have to put up with comments. It's bad enough having a son in his 30s who can't really see without having to explain constantly.
I'm sorry you have to put up with ignorant people OP. 💐

I think the fact that someone has sought out such a sticker for their car indicates that they have had experiences that make them think it necessary.

I have a bb, I'm in my early 50s and need a wheelchair for long distances like the supermarket. I'm also quite overweight (mainly because I can't exercise almost ever) and recently heard someone comment "being fat isn't a disability"!! My dh (who is a GP so has all the info at his fingertips) tore them a new one. He doesn't usually get angry but some days it's too much for both of us, we never wanted for this to happen and it does wear you down dealing with disability every. Single. Day.

I'd never query someone with a bb. But I will stand up to people with no badge parking in the spaces. If we forget my badge we don't use the space. There's no excuse!

It's appalling that you were legitimately parking and those people were so snide.

The problem is that the system is so badly abused and people play the "not every disability is visible" card at the drop of a hat to excuse themselves (and I mean those who aren't entitled).

I'm not sure what the solution is, better policing maybe. Getting people to keep their opinions to themselves seems to be impossible.

I wish people that have no idea what so ever about someone else's disability would just shut the fuck up! So sorry you experienced this OP. As a person who has a disability,I feel for you.

The problem is that the system is so badly abused

This myth needs to die a death.

"My disability is invisible - yours is clearly your inability to recognise that your comments are rude and unwelcome"

Something similar happened to me. I parked in a disabled bay with my husband who has MS. I got out the car to walk to the wheelchairs outside B&Q and a couple started making comments about me parking in a disabled bay when I shouldn't. They soon stopped when they saw I was walking to the wheelchairs.

Having a wheelchair in the car doesn't always stop it either.

I have had abuse hurled at me by two very vociferous pensioners (I know they were pensioners as they stated so, several times as if this should automatically qualify them) because I had taken the last blue badge space.

I apologised, initially thinking they had a badge, but we had simply got to the space first, we hadn't done anything sneaky, like nip in whilst they moved their car or anything!

They carried on, calling me a lazy fat cow, whilst my partner got my chair out, and eventually let slip they don't even HAVE a blue badge, just felt that blue badge spaces were also for anyone claiming an old age pension!

Apparently the fact my manual wheelchair is purple and has a camo print seat/back means it wasn't supplied or prescribed by the NHS!

I got bored and told them to fuck off in the end. Apparently real disabled people wouldn't do that either.

I've also had multiple incidences of people honking their horns at me to hurry up loading myself and chair into the back of our new vehicle. It takes a little while to line up and the ramps do stick out into the road-way in most carparks. Obviously what I need to help me concentrate and not drop myself and 8K of NHS funded powerchair sideways into the road off the ramp, is some mardy cunt in an Audi honking at me and revving whilst mouthing something rude!

No, shitting was the right word 😁😁😉

God I hate it when people are like that. Already feel self conscious enough trying to shop with my walk stick and they just want me to feel worse. Even more awkward when I dare to put my shopping and stick in the boot and then take a whole 4 steps without it to get in my car. The stares and “whispers” can be ridiculous. My other half now makes a point to stare back 😂 I really sympathise, some days it does get to you more than others x

Sadly it's not a myth.

I once worked in the council office issuing blue badges (as in I was actually physically making them to be issued). The number of people I saw abusing them was astounding. They'd hobble into the office, moaning and groaning and in 'obvious' pain, collect their badge, hobble out, and once they were out the doors they miraculously sprinted off like spring chickens. Happens a lot more than you would think.

I HATE this. We have one for my DS, who has severe learning disabilities and a tendency to be a flight risk so parking closest to the supermarket is pretty much essential to avoid a wrestling match and/or one of us getting run over. If I’m wearing trousers, I fix them with a gimlet stare and say that my legs aren’t real.

I've got bowel disease. I have a radar key and will use accessible toilets if there is a queue for the ladies and I can't wait or if I've had a soiling accident and I need to clean myself up.

I sometimes get people commenting that I don't look disabled when I'm leaving the toilet. I've started to point out that they didn't look ignorant until they opened their mouth!

Also once asked a very irate lady why she wanted me to wash poo off my bare bum in front of everyone in the ladies and did she have a scat fetish, which left her very red faced 😂

Your age or disability visibility are irrelevant. I'm nearly 66 and very visibly disabled, and I still get it. Some able bodied people seem to resent the fact that we take up their spaces and their world. I've got to the "shout it out" stage because I'm bloody fed up of it. Someone does that to me I go after them and say I'll happily swap my parking space for their body. Slam a door in my face because I'm not fast enough - yell thanks for being a jerk. Being meek just makes you a door mat. People with disabilities need to learn some lessons about empowerment from other networks. If we let people walk all over us unchallenged, we become part of the problem.

My 18 year old DS has a blue badge - he never leaves the house unattended and automatically qualified with his pip due to being ASD - I’m used to the dissaproving glares from people when he use these spaces and we were asked to move from a space once by an elderly lady as we “shouldn’t be there “ , I gestured to the badge .. and said believe me I’d rather not have to use these spaces ..

I once worked in the council office issuing blue badges (as in I was actually physically making them to be issued). The number of people I saw abusing them was astounding. They'd hobble into the office, moaning and groaning and in 'obvious' pain, collect their badge, hobble out, and once they were out the doors they miraculously sprinted off like spring chickens. Happens a lot more than you would think.

Really? Funny that, seeing as they are usually posted to the person's address.