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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use a holiday club when I don't need to?

126 replies

6weeksummer · 07/06/2023 18:02

My DS is coming toward the end of his first year in reception. He's 4 at the moment. Turning 5 soon.

He's just gone back to school after a half term. I love him to pieces but the thought of being with him 8am - 6pm Monday to Friday with no break for six weeks scares the hell out of me. I just can't cope. He can be a handful. But I also have MH issues which makes it harder for me.

By 10am during half term week I was ready to call DH home from work and walk out. I was exhausted mentally.

Considering booking DS into a holiday club two days a week every week during the summer holidays. Perhaps even three days a week alternating two days a week.

He doesn't like sport and is very shy but I've found a club that does activities I think he'll really enjoy and hope will benefit him as well as giving me a break.

I just feel bad about it. Also worry that I'm potentially taking a space away from a working parent who needs it for childcare.

So AIBU to book him in?

OP posts:
MaxwellCat · 07/06/2023 18:04

If you can afford it why not? I'm a single parent to 4 and absolutely dreading the summer holidays

FlounderingFruitcake · 07/06/2023 18:05

If he’ll enjoy it then I see no issue whatsoever

Pippa12 · 07/06/2023 18:06

If it’s what you need to do and is financially viable then I think YANBU.

10am is really early to be mentally exhausted with you 4 year old, said kindly, are you getting help for your mental health? What is it that exhausts you about them?

Applecoresweet · 07/06/2023 18:06

If you can't handle having him by 10 in the morning I think holiday club is the best option for you both.

Digestive28 · 07/06/2023 18:07

If it will mean you are a better parent on the days you are with him and the cost is manageable then of course. No point being a martyr as you will all end up worse.

Jojobees · 07/06/2023 18:07

If you are ready to walk out at 10:00 then holiday club is the best place for him, but as a working parent with no other childcare options available to me, I’d be pretty pissed at loosing a space to you.

Smartnugget · 07/06/2023 18:08

We did this with DS. He’s an only child and we felt he benefited from being at holiday club. Ours was run by a local primary school and they did a lot of activities with the kids. Not just sport but baking, arts and crafts, film days, out for an ice cream, days away to a local safari park. It was really good for him and he still talks about it now and he’s 15.

I love a bit of time for myself. Even just a few hours. If you can afford it then do it.

TheGoogleMum · 07/06/2023 18:09

Sounds like a good idea, he'll still get some days with you but will do some different things at the club too

ChimChimeny · 07/06/2023 18:09

I know two.families who use holiday club when they don't technically need to, it's good for TH kids to have some time away, doing different things, playing with other kids and gives the parent a break too

ZestFest · 07/06/2023 18:09

I have always tried to book my (only) child into holiday clubs for a few days over the Summer, because otherwise he has little interaction with other kids. Of course you're not being unreasonable!

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 07/06/2023 18:10

I think this is concerning that his main carer can’t handle him by 10am. Do you work? Would you be better off working and your partner taking care of him if that’s a possibility?

Is this a short term solution and can you see your mental health improving with treatment?

treacledan71 · 07/06/2023 18:10

Yes go for it. He will love it and it sometimes works out cheaper than you doing days out. You can get your jobs done then and when he is at home have time and patience to do things together or just have a duvet day as he is busy other days. I took redundancy before one summer holiday once and thought be great not having childcare. I was soon messaging childminder to take him a few days I still had a contract with her as intended to look for another job and as was over 5 so she cld take him as no restrictions. Also put him in holiday club too odd days.

SummerLovingDays · 07/06/2023 18:10

Jojobees · 07/06/2023 18:07

If you are ready to walk out at 10:00 then holiday club is the best place for him, but as a working parent with no other childcare options available to me, I’d be pretty pissed at loosing a space to you.

🙄 seriously? She needs the holiday club just as must as you.

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 07/06/2023 18:12

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 07/06/2023 18:10

I think this is concerning that his main carer can’t handle him by 10am. Do you work? Would you be better off working and your partner taking care of him if that’s a possibility?

Is this a short term solution and can you see your mental health improving with treatment?

To be fair I suppose with a lack of annual leave lots of parents have to do this anyway.

Hope things improve for you OP. No judgment here.

treacledan71 · 07/06/2023 18:12

Some nasty comments on here.

Original poster
6weeksummer · 07/06/2023 18:12

I think the thing is that I'm exhausted by 10am every day, regardless of whether he's there or not but at least when he's at school and I'm exhausted, I can rest, sleep, take it easy, etc. Which I can't do during the holidays. I don't know if it's the meds I'm taking but the exhaustion is awful. Have some tests with the doctors in a few weeks but I've had this exhaustion for years. I love spending time with him and miss him when he's at school, I'm just so tired. All the time. Ii tend to have a burst of energy late afternoon, early evening for around an hour and then that's it. Exhausted again.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 07/06/2023 18:12

If theres spaces and you can afford it go for it, I suspect those who need places for jobs will have sorted their child care now as it's fairly soon

Summerishereagain · 07/06/2023 18:14

Sounds perfect. Double check what age they take kids from.

hyggeb · 07/06/2023 18:14

I always use childcare in this way. Not sure what wrong with it if the dc enjoy it?

ThursdayFreedom · 07/06/2023 18:14

Jojobees · 07/06/2023 18:07

If you are ready to walk out at 10:00 then holiday club is the best place for him, but as a working parent with no other childcare options available to me, I’d be pretty pissed at loosing a space to you.

@Jojobees

you could rearrange your life so you're not working the school holidays.

the OP NEEDS holiday care every bit as much as you do, your reason 'working' doesn't trump hers 'MH'

Throwncrumbs · 07/06/2023 18:15

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Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 07/06/2023 18:15

Just seen your update - this sounds very tough. I would do what you need to do to be the best parent you can when he’s with you x

PuttingDownRoots · 07/06/2023 18:16

My DDs have attended various clubs over the years, basically fir something to do!

Theres often clubs with hours like 10-3 instead of childcare clubs.

GoodChat · 07/06/2023 18:17

This reply has been deleted

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30 years ago people took the whole 'it takes a village' thing much more seriously.

AMuser · 07/06/2023 18:17

I’d never considered in 19 years of parenting that holiday clubs were only for kids with working parents. Before and after school clubs, yes but not the various camps and clubs. I know tonnes of people who used them regardless as did I.

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