AIBU to use a holiday club when I don't need to?

[6weeksummer]

My DS is coming toward the end of his first year in reception. He's 4 at the moment. Turning 5 soon.

He's just gone back to school after a half term. I love him to pieces but the thought of being with him 8am - 6pm Monday to Friday with no break for six weeks scares the hell out of me. I just can't cope. He can be a handful. But I also have MH issues which makes it harder for me.

By 10am during half term week I was ready to call DH home from work and walk out. I was exhausted mentally.

Considering booking DS into a holiday club two days a week every week during the summer holidays. Perhaps even three days a week alternating two days a week.

He doesn't like sport and is very shy but I've found a club that does activities I think he'll really enjoy and hope will benefit him as well as giving me a break.

I just feel bad about it. Also worry that I'm potentially taking a space away from a working parent who needs it for childcare.

So AIBU to book him in?

@Throwncrumbs when you were night shift where were your kids?

Lots of people do this when they have little ones in nursery but eldest doesn't have anything on, age gaps, only children. Book them in.

@Throwncrumbs "Jesus, how did people use to manage 30 years ago when there was none of this ‘help’, before school clubs, after school clubs , holiday clubs, why bother having kids if you can’t cope with them!"
Many women didn't cope-there were
a lot of miserable and mentally ill
mothers. Also, grandparents were often younger, not working outside the home and contributed to child care.

Im sorry but I really have no idea what this means. Comparisons between working in and outwith the home you mean? And you think I don’t think people can make their own opinion on this?

Thank you for all the kind and supportive comments. I really appreciate it.

DS is very shy and not at all sporty. All the clubs seem to be sports based but I've found one that is 10-3 that's like Forest school, making dens, using tools, camp fires, etc. And he loves that kind of stuff so I think he'll really enjoy it :)

I really don't think it's an issue.

Some work and use them. Some don't and use them.

Some work and book a holiday specifically with a good kids club.

You do what's best for your family

My mum put my sister and me in holiday clubs back in the 80s/early 90s. I think we did a tennis club once a week and would go to some place that was all day every day for a week I think. I still remember the stuff I did at the week long place, like badge making and something where we'd sit in a circle and wave a parachute type thing in the air as a group 🤔 No idea what that was all about!

It was great and hasn't harmed me. Mum wouldn't have been working as she had a brain tumour so I guess it was to just give her a break.

As someone who gets exhausted like you, I say go for it. Your child will probably love it

As a working parent who very much relies on holiday clubs - you have just as much need/right to use them as anyone else. I don’t view them as being just for working parents (although I am a bit like a ninja securing the spaces I need as soon as they open!)

It sounds like your son would really enjoy it too so it’s a no brainer 😊

We used holiday clubs when they weren't there they were climbing the wall

That sounds lovely, ours did a sailing camp that included woodland craft. I think it's just addressing sunscreen and drinks as it's different from school

And me.
i don’t think I know anyone who never used a holiday club/camp over the summer. Surely it’s just like extended after school clubs.

Sure he will love it and will do you the word of good

I'm put my dd into holiday club twice a week as I work nights and can't cope with no sleep for 6w

If you can afford it do it

How utterly unhelpful. For a start previous generations generally had a lot more of a support network. They were more likely to live near to family and more likely to have other mum friends who also didn't work and could share the load.
Holiday clubs not only provide childcare for those who are working but they provide structure, routine, fun and socialisation to children during what is a very long break from schooling. Thankfully you don't need to prove you are deserving of a space, you simply need to book and pay for it just like anyone else.

Why not? No need to feel bad at all. YANBU

Waaaaay back we had play centres in all school holidays...free.

No idea if it was only in London schools. They were in different schools each holiday.

Drop kids off,dinner money and off you went....freedom !
They kept me sane.

Absolutely do it OP.

You must get the exhaustion and mh looked at as a priority!
What if,next time,there are no available places?would you walk out at 10am? You must address this,get better to be the best mum you can be.
So whilst your dc is at club,be as proactive as you can to help yourself.I know very well it's not easy but chase every single avenue,medical,homeopathic,spiritual,whatever,but sort yourself out for your sake and that of your dh and dc.🌻

Jesus, how did people use to manage 30 years ago when there was none of this ‘help’, before school clubs, after school clubs , holiday clubs, why bother having kids if you can’t cope with them!

Not sure where you grew up but my mum had access to loads of free play schemes, there were also crèches. There was a wider community of friends & family who helped out.

My mum put my sister and me in holiday clubs back in the 80s/early 90s. I think we did a tennis club once a week and would go to some place that was all day every day for a week I think. I still remember the stuff I did at the week long place, like badge making and something where we'd sit in a circle and wave a parachute type thing in the air as a group 🤔 No idea what that was all about!

I remember the parachute thing, did you not lift it up & then duck underneath?

I'm glad someone else remembers it. Yeah, I think you might be right about going underneath it. My sister looks at me like I'm mad when I have mentioned it to her, I can now use you as "proof" that it did happen

Oh maybe it was just me then that wanted to spend time with my children, despite working full time night shifts!

I was lucky that my work always fitted in around my children, I still gave them the option to go to holiday clubs, they didn't want to but the choice was there. I also recognise that not all situations are the same as mine and that sometimes a little compassion to others online costs me nothing.

Go for it, I use holiday club for a day or two in all the holidays and I work term time only, it's good for a bit of alone time. There are no rules.

Ohh I did tennis/parachute club in the 90s too!

@CombatBarbie

its not up to the OP to decide whether spaces are at a premium & not book if they are. Who is to say which child/parent/family needs the space the most??

The OP needs the space, if there's one available when she enquires then it's hers. End of. She doesn't have to wait to see if someone else books it.

That's fine. And no offence to you, but I am sure your son will think it's fun to go play with other kids rather than just being stuck in with his mum all holiday. I know mine would.

If you can afford it, then I don't see the problem!

If you're still looking for a club that does the little ones well, I can recommend SuperCamps. They're at the pricier end, but good.