AIBU to use a holiday club when I don't need to?

[6weeksummer]

My DS is coming toward the end of his first year in reception. He's 4 at the moment. Turning 5 soon.

He's just gone back to school after a half term. I love him to pieces but the thought of being with him 8am - 6pm Monday to Friday with no break for six weeks scares the hell out of me. I just can't cope. He can be a handful. But I also have MH issues which makes it harder for me.

By 10am during half term week I was ready to call DH home from work and walk out. I was exhausted mentally.

Considering booking DS into a holiday club two days a week every week during the summer holidays. Perhaps even three days a week alternating two days a week.

He doesn't like sport and is very shy but I've found a club that does activities I think he'll really enjoy and hope will benefit him as well as giving me a break.

I just feel bad about it. Also worry that I'm potentially taking a space away from a working parent who needs it for childcare.

So AIBU to book him in?

Yeah, probably.

Do it, OP. Your son will have fun and you’ll have more energy for him when he’s at home.

We did this too.Our DD still talks about the one she attended and she's now nearly 40!

Of course you aren’t being unreasonable. If you can afford it and he enjoys it, why wouldn’t you?

I wish I could afford to put mine in a bit more childcare in the summer hols. Actually every year I end the summer thinking I should have put them in a few days so I could stay mentally balanced (!) and get some of my school work/ housework done.

I stayed with a childminder and went to the summer school too.

This is unfair. Holiday clubs are for all children.

Itll be good for him op so do it.

As long as he won't be miserable there it's fine.

Nice. Were you a perfect mum 24/7? A lot of it is overwhelming because parents are constantly trying their best. There is so much info out there and scaremongering about how to be the perfect parents. It’s not like it’s full time! And tbh, that would be more fun than being at home all the time.

Also the op has mh problems!

And what did women used to do? Suffer. And hit their kids and not cope.

In the nicest way, if you are that desperate, you make arrangements as early as possible. No one is taking away a space by booking a last minute spot in June.

And even if they were, a holiday club is for the child, not just for parents convenience.

as a working parent with no other childcare options available to me, I’d be pretty pissed at loosing a space to you

What a load of crap!

Yeah, my parents are clearly awful for having to work to keep me alive - horrible, horrible people they are

30 years ago I was a school child and there was plenty of this help for working parents. Breakfast club, after school club and holidays clubs and I did them all. It's not a new concept.

As a working parent I have to use holiday clubs and was dreading it, but DD loves them all, I now give her the choice of which she does when the booking comes out and she's so excited to go, that even if I was off I'd send her to one.
She's tried dance, football, forest and mixed activities.
Check Facebook for recommendations locally

My mum worked night shifts and needed holiday childcare for when she got home at 7am and needed sleep. You either totally ignored or neglected your children or functioned on zero sleep, or had another stay at home partner. No one is spending quality time with their children after being awake all night. But if it makes you feel better for remembering an alternative truth then go for it!

Go for it OP, this is a completely normal thing to do.

Yes I have actually. And yes it’s hard and I have had my own struggles with mental health, but don’t normalise not being able to handle your own child by 10am as most people can handle them and most people do!

OP has admitted this is due to her mental health so my heart goes out to her and I appreciate she has to do what she has to do to cope.

I'm a SAHM and often send my oldest to holiday club a few days a week if we're home for a school holiday. Sending him for a fun day at holiday club costs less than a trip to the cinema around here, so I'm selling it to my husband as a cost-saving exercise 🙃

There's nothing wrong with it, do what you need to do

Of course YANBU. It will benefit him socially as well as giving him the opportunity to enjoy doing/learning something new. And you will enjoy the time you do have together more, if you're more relaxed and less tired.

I used to book my DS into the holiday club of the after-school club we used (very lucky to only have needed childcare in term-time back then) on some of the trip days in the summer. I wanted him to get out and about and see different places with other kids and staff I liked and trusted; especially as he was an only child and I don't drive and his dad worked shifts. He loved those days out!

@Throwncrumbs Jesus, how did people use to manage 30 years ago when there was none of this ‘help’, before school clubs, after school clubs , holiday clubs, why bother having kids if you can’t cope with them!

Did you live in isolation 30 years ago??

Those things absolutely existed! I was in summer school 20 years ago and after school clubs and had a SAHP.
Whats wrong with a child wanting to do activities?

My DD goes to holiday club 2 days a week in the holidays because we need the childcare but she also enjoys it and as an only child it’s good for her to get time with other children outside the play dates we arrange. If you think he’ll enjoy it go for it!

Our local leisure centre offers free sessions during some of the holidays and include breakfast and lunch. May be worth seeing if there's something similar in your area. I think its a nice for the children to mix with others, 6 weeks is a long time to be off!

Oh don’t be such a twat. I was the child of a SAHM going to a holiday club 30 years ago and loved it. I’m glad my mother didn’t have the smothering attitude you do. Stop taking your own insecurities out on other people, most of us can take it but some will feel shit reading bullshit comments like yours.

Totally get it

Six weeks is too long

at that age, they need a lot of stimulation and they have a lot if energy

Holiday clubs are good for them

Exactly.

I had a smothering SAHM and I wish I could've experienced some holiday clubs.

Clubs are fun for kids. You can do all sorts: Drama; Music; Forest school and the usual Sports clubs.

Much better than mooching about at home.

I do it, I need it kept open as we used it for weeks over summer, so it goes both ways. And he loves it, there is a big difference between my two and the oldest just doesn't play all the time and neither do I.