AIBU to use a holiday club when I don't need to?

[6weeksummer]

My DS is coming toward the end of his first year in reception. He's 4 at the moment. Turning 5 soon.

He's just gone back to school after a half term. I love him to pieces but the thought of being with him 8am - 6pm Monday to Friday with no break for six weeks scares the hell out of me. I just can't cope. He can be a handful. But I also have MH issues which makes it harder for me.

By 10am during half term week I was ready to call DH home from work and walk out. I was exhausted mentally.

Considering booking DS into a holiday club two days a week every week during the summer holidays. Perhaps even three days a week alternating two days a week.

He doesn't like sport and is very shy but I've found a club that does activities I think he'll really enjoy and hope will benefit him as well as giving me a break.

I just feel bad about it. Also worry that I'm potentially taking a space away from a working parent who needs it for childcare.

So AIBU to book him in?

Dh & I are both teachers so off in the hols and our dc still go to holiday clubs, especially in the summer. They enjoy it and we get some down time; it’s win-win.

As a ‘working parent’ I’m able to consider that you maintaining and improving your mental health sounds like an absolute priority - anyone who cannot may not have have the ability to see that. That is not on you so please don’t feel guilty! You aren’t taking anyone’s space if you book it first. Recognising that you can’t manage is so important. What makes things more manageable? Could you have some plans to meet with another parent some days sometimes another adult and some structure can make things easier? It can be hard to be with people if you aren’t okay though. Is there anyone you can visit? Hope there’s some support in your network. It’s hard to get any services at the moment but some authorities have ‘family early help’ services.

OP it sounds like you need the childcare so use it. You're not taking a space away from anybody else and a stressed, exhausted parent isn't going to be much fun for him for 6 weeks straight.

I hope the doctors can give you some answers after your tests.

Absolutely reasonable. It's really hard to keep them occupied for the long summer holidays. It will be a good balance for you both. If you can afford it do it. You are no less entitled than anyone else. These clubs are businesses and open to everyone.

What a nasty comment!

YANBU

It's not specifically taking a space from a working parent. You have no idea whether the holiday club would be full whether you book a space or not.
It can be hard work entertaining your child constantly throughout holidays.
I send my child to clubs sometimes as she's an only and it's good for her and she enjoys being with other kids.
It also does us both good as I get a few hours to rest or do other stuff that needs doing.

I run a holiday club. People use it for all sorts of reasons - you don't need to explain why. Your mental health is a good enough reason!

@6weeksummer have you checked the ages they clubs will take him? My DS isn't 5 until August and all the clubs are from 5 upwards even the one based at his school!
I work full time and have no idea how I'm going to get the full 6 weeks covered, no family to help and OH has the same holidays I do

W@6weeksummer it sounds like you NEED it every bit as much as any other parent, if not more.

it sounds like something he'd enjoy...

get him booked in, guilt free, asap!!!

IF someone in your situation had booked the last place I'd think it was great for you & DS & only have myself to blame for not booking earlier!!

take care, health issues are awful when you don't know why you're bloody exhausted all the time.

I don’t think this is unreasonable and used to do the same during holidays. It is very tiring trying to entertain children for such a long time especially if it’s just the two of you and it’ll do your son good. Kids usually seem to enjoy time away from parents.

The one I used had a schedule of planned activities so I’d go through it with him choosing the days he’d like the most. He found it very exciting and holiday club was considered a treat - all the fun bits of school minus the work!

I work, but would never feel more entitled to a space over someone who wasn’t working. Please don’t feel guilty. This will be good for the both of you.

I could but people keep having babies in the summer and I’m only allowed 2 weeks annual leave. The NHS is chronically understaffed so yes I need the space. Luckily I get priority booking 😀

I do this and tbh it wouldn’t occur to me that I was taking space from a ‘working’ parent. I am working, fucking hard thanks, and need it too.

Tbf back when I was a child my mum never saw us we played out from morning till night only coming in for dinner the whole estate did now we live on a main road in London kids never play out here.

It sounds like it would be the best thing for both of you.

Hi Op.
I put mine in holiday club. Don’t listen to some of the people on here who would be “pissed off” if you use a space. (honestly, what an utterly horrid thing to say to someone).
You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. You do you and what works for your family.
good luck with the tests.

My DD is an only child, now an adult. I was a SAHM. She always did one full week of camp every summer holiday, be it drama/sport/art because she enjoyed it and wanted to. I never felt guilty that I had taken the place off a working parent, up to them to sort their own childcare needs. In your case, I would prioritise your mental health and sign DS up for as much camp time as you need.

I did actually go to holiday club 30 years ago, it was much more fun than mooching about the house then too.

It's a bit of an unfair comparison isn't it; more dual working couples these days, less "playing out", stricter safeguarding etc

Uhhh, I’m 30. I absolutely went to holiday club and before and after school club as a child. I also had a childminder and before that a nanny, because maternity leave was shit so my mum had to go back to work when I was 4 months 🙄not sure what halycon days of stay at home mothering you are imagining in 1993

I went to a holiday club more than 30 years ago, my mother didn't work and my father was a teacher so absolutely no need for childcare. You probably would have judged them too. They just recognised that I enjoyed being out at school and doing a variety of activities. It wasn't the whole holiday but the whole community of children would go so all my school friends would be there.

OP you do what will suit you and dc best. Most working parents will already have booked. The holiday club might be quite pleased especially if you are flexible with days as some working parents might only have booked some days themselves.

I'm 34 and I definitely went to holiday club and after school club

I also had a regular babysitter and a childminder.

It's hardly a new thing

AIBU to use a holiday club when I don't need to?

But you do need to. Your health is important too, take advantage of the help that is available.

I put my son in a extra day each week in hols I use the time to visit my dad, doa long dog walk, clean.

🙄 not sure what halycon days of stay at home mothering you are imagining in 1993

Think it was the 1950s calling to Throwncrumbs. I went to holiday club in the 1970s.

I think this is concerning that his main carer can’t handle him by 10am.

Do you have, or have you ever been around, small children?! By 10am you've done a 4-hour non-stop full-on shift! It's exhausting!

Traditionally human children have been raised in villages, with the children playing out together all day and the parents working (paid/unpaid - irrelevant which).

Being at home alone with your children isn't how humans are meant to raise children really. It's isolating, lonely and boring. It's only bearable if you have the good health/fortune to meet up with friends who have kids every day, so the kids can go off and play and you have adult company This is how I survived days at home in the holidays.

So OP - send him to holiday club - don't even hesitate! It's the new "village". He'll love it, you need it. I'm sure he'll enjoy it. And you can rest and recuperate, ready for your next "shift".