Comments about breastfeeding baby

[AlpacaMeBags]

I'll preface this by saying I don't think I did anything wrong but I have crippling social anxiety & this is the kind of thing that I'll lie in bed thinking about for years to come.

At the weekend, a couple of friends and I went to the local pub for lunch. I was feeding DD (3 months) when a group of older women (maybe in their sixties) sat down at the table next to us. They were looking over a lot and muttering to each other but I didn't think it had anything to do with us until one of them said loudly something about "just trying to have a nice lunch and you get this type of thing" while gesturing to our table. Now, I don't know if we were supposed to hear that but I piped up with "oh, that's fine, she's just having lunch too" while pointing moronically at the baby still attached to my boob. They continued muttering to each other & moved tables a few minutes later.

I don't think I did anything wrong - didn't say it unkindly, just making a joke out of it - but one of my friends said I must have made them feel incredibly awkward to move tables. We live in a small village and other people definitely heard.

Was I being unreasonable to say something?

For context - busy-ish family pub, 2 layers & no boob on show

The problem on here is age is almost always used negatively.

Mentioning the age, it just sets the scene, doesn't it?

Is it?

Was the fact that they were women used negatively?

Was the fact that they were in a group used negatively?

If someone is taking offence because OP included age as one of the multiple describing points then its their own wild insecurity.

Good! They should feel awkward. Arseholes.

Yeah, I get what you mean. No dogs, videos or swearing (or other children) just sitting reading the menu. And a baby on the boob, of course. Perhaps they just disapproved of our food choices!

They sound very odd! You, on the other hand, sound both eminently sensible and quick witted :)

You did absolutely nothing wrong OP.

As pp have said I think you’ve been really unlucky to have received a comment so please don’t let it stop you in future.

Maybe carry a blanket in future, that you can offer to put over people like this lady’s head if you get any more comments, to protect their easily offended eyes from seeing you feeding your baby?

Although BF'g is totally fine, it still bothers some people. We were having lunch in a pub and one if the staff asked my friend to swap seats so she had her back to the rest of the room while she fed her baby.

I'm 74, and I'd have done the same as you.

I'm 67, I breastfed my kids anywhere and everywhere. You were definitely not out of order to say what you did. They were being idiots.

Maybe carry a blanket in future, that you can offer to put over people like this lady’s head if you get any more comments, to protect their easily offended eyes from seeing you feeding your baby

This! My friend was once asked to "cover up" while bfing and she offered the woman a muslin to put over her head! She was and is my hero. So are you OP. Don't worry about what you said at all, you were very restrained. A swift "fuck off" may have offended a bit more. 😆

In my opinion, they were wrong as well. Breast feeding is natural. I breast fed my babies in public in the 1970s. I'd have thought this nonsense would have stopped by now.

You did nothing wrong.

I BF both my babies till they were 2+ and I can reassure you with the fact that these types of situations are, in my experience, rare and you will get loads of people cooing over you instead. Ignore them, they are idiots (and probably just jealous of your fab BFing boobs ;) )

As others have said - context. Perhaps opinions would be different if it had been a different group - older men, teenagers, a family with kids?
Granted I could have just said older women and not included an age bracket however 'older women' will mean different age ranges to different people. Context.

In all those cases, you are still fine to feed your baby in public OP.

FGS!!!!

@AlpacaMeBags they were stupid ignorant bitches. Good for you - I love to see a baby being breastfed (not that I am making a point of looking!!)

I am 60 and breastfed my three children but never had the courage to do it in public. Ignore ALL the morons!!!

This really made me smile, thank you.

I'm sure it's illegal for places to make someone feel less welcome/ unrelaxed about breastfeeding in public? I only found this out when a man commented on me feeding DS on the train and the train guard asked him to move then and said he absolutely would not be making me uncomfortable about doing one of the most natural things in the world and he was the one with the problem (lovely train guard). I did some research after and found it would have also been illegal for him to ask me to cover up or move.

I'm astonished that women commented !

Perhaps you should have called over " Proves my breasts are the real thing.
Are yours? You look like a man in a dress."

Which she had no actual right to do. If it bothers to see a baby having lunch then they should be the ones to leave or turn their heads.

Table woman needs to wind her neck in, and your friend should have stood up for you and reassured you - not blame you for their ‘awkwardness’. Most importantly, you should not let this in any way dominate your thoughts or diminish your confidence to feed your baby in public. I’d be raging to watch a group of women (of any age) mutterly passive aggressively about a mum engaging in the most natural act of motherhood there is. I’m livid just hearing about it!

Well done you! I wish I’d been that brave.

I agree that most people are very positive so don’t be put off.

*muttering

You were fabulously respectful and are clearly a class act.

Your friend can jog on and go to join the table of backwards, bitter bullies if that’s more her crowd.

They skulked away under a rock because there was nothing that they could say back to you to justify their vile behaviour.

Well done OP, you did a solid for all the breastfeeding mamas and babies, and should be proud of yourself.