Does My Best Friend Hate Me?

[Fisharejumping]

I always know when my friend is stressed because she will find a reason to explode at me. Recently she went mad while we were having a conversation, telling me that she disagreed with my opinion (about nothing very important) and that I was talking too much and she couldn’t get a word in - which was a weird thing to say as she was haranguing me. She often says she doesn’t agree with me and I am starting to think she says it just for the sake of saying it. She said that I am negative and nasty to people but when I asked couldn’t give me an example of how or when. My attempts to defend myself were construed as further proof of my “wrongdoing”. It left me feeling really bad about myself. We left it that we wouldn’t talk for now. She sent me a text today asking if I am ok. I haven’t replied. Have you experienced anything like this and how did you cope with it?

No friend should be making you feel bad about yourself especially just over a difference of opinion or even exploding on you. Doesn't sound like a friend. Bin her off

Sometimes people will accuse you of the faults they see in themselves. You may display a mild version of them but they trigger the critic. I’d give her a wide berth until you’ve gathered your thoughts enough to have a mature conversation about what this is really to do with, and what you want to do moving forward.

She sounds like a shit friend. I wouldn't reply.

You could reply with "No, I'm not ok. I don't deserve being spoken to the way you spoke to me and I need some space as it was very hurtful."

Or you could not reply.

What do you want to do. Do you want to try to salvage the friendship?

Way too much effort required. Bin.

“Funnily enough no. I’m upset that you shout at me and frustrated that you keep doing it and think it’s ok to behave this way to a good friend”.

Life’s too short op. Get rid.

Gosh if that’s your best friend hate to see the rest .

I would also either ignore .

or explain no . I have had enough of your judgments of me . I think we should go out separate ways

or after the other night I have nothing left to say to you

She's not really your friend if this is how she regularly treats you.

Why do you consider her a friend? She sounds horrible. Does her presence in your life add to it at all?

She's your 'best friend'? I'd hate to meet your enemies. She sounds vile, either ghost her now or wait for the next time and tell her to fuck off then ghost her. I'd rather be completely friendless and alone if someone like that was my only choice of friend.

That's not a friend. A REAL friend wouldn't speak to you like that.

Is this person making your life better by being in it? I suspect not. Might be best to let this one wither on the vine.

She doesn't hate you but sounds like she now has a habit of using you as a outlet for her frustration and anger, which is not acceptable.

Does she have a reason to be envious of you? Sometimes people behave like this when they are envious (they may not be even consciously aware of it) and find anything to attack you with to justify their secret envy.

Yes this has happened to me twice. First my sister, it went on for years. I pulled back significantly for a few years which seems to have reset things, although sadly we are nowhere near as close anymore. Other time was a long term friend who I just phased out of my life as gently as possible.

Life is too short to be gaslit and abused. You deserve better OP.

This happened to me.
When friend was annoyed she would use me as her whipping boy.
The last time was shortly after my DM passed away.
I cut her out of my life. Don't have many friends but still feel better.

She's not your best friend. She's using you as an emotional punchbag when she feels angry and frustrated about other things. Find some new friends who treat you with kindness and respect.

I had a friend like that.

She’s no longer a friend and my life is far far happier without her in it!

Oh my god, you could be me!

After a period of quietness between us where I was contemplating our friendship (she's not been an actual good friend to me, despite us being "best friends") she sent me a message asking if I was ok
I replied saying yes I'm fine, no falling out, but I felt we needed a little space from each other due to xyz but there were no hard feelings and maybe we just needed some quiet time.
She immediately sent me an enormously long message detailing all my many faults and turning everything I said about xyz into being my fault.
I just replied "okay". And blocked her.

She's still blocked now, 3 months later. We've seen each other a couple of times due to a mutual friend group. It's been politely conversational, but that's it.

Do I miss her? No. Therefore, did she actually add anything to my life? No. Do I regret the blocking? No.

How old are you out of interest? I think I may be getting too old to have the patience to deal with narcissistic "friends"

Your best friend isn’t my mother, is she? Basically you’ve just described my mother. I no longer have a relationship with my mother, out of necessity for my own emotional well-being. Maybe you need to consider doing similar with your friend, who doesn’t sound like any sort of friend at all BTW.

Sometimes people see too much of each other and turn into whiney old married couple... maybe take a break.

She sounds like an utter cunt. Dump and get nicer non toxic friends!

She’s not a friend, let alone a best friend.
Real friends don’t make you feel bad about yourself or bully you. Life’s too short to put up with this stuff.

I'm really sorry she did that to you when you were grieving. That seems particularly low. It's good to know that you freed yourself from her.