AIBU to show this to the teacher?

[thirdistheonewiththehairychest]

My daughter was in hospital having an operation the week before half term and her teacher asked a supply teacher to organise the class to make her a card which was very kind.

However I had to remove one of the kids contributions from the front of the card as it wasn't very nice. They had attempted to write in a secret code but it's pretty clear what it says... "You better f*ing be better you b**ch"

I don't know this girl at all, my daughter never mentions her. I think it was probably a misguided attempt at humour but was obviously really inappropriate.

Should I show it to their teacher so she can deal with it? Or should I just leave it and put it down to childish silliness?

You'd be concerned that her parents are speaking to her like they're teenage girls? Unlikely. The influence will be coming from social media.

OP this was clearly a message from a friend and unfortunately bitch was being used as a term of endearment. Be under no illusion that this is how your DD talks as well, clearly they call each other it.

It's the sort of message you get on cards from Thortful and the like. I don't think it's a safeguarding issue but the teacher should know so they can have a word about it being inappropriate.

I agree with speak to your DD about it. If she thinks it was a joke and isn't concerned, I wouldn't mention to the teacher.

I will definitely speak to the teacher about that. What a nasty little person that is.

How did you get the card? Teacher hand it to you? Then they have already seen it.
Dont believe thats a 10 year olds' writing either- Very sophisticated balloons with reflection, yet cant form letters properly!

A year five child laboriously drew anatomically correct male genitalia (complete with pubic hairs) along with the slightly unusual seasonal message of 'f* off' in every single Christmas card he sent to the rest of the class.

Only one parent initially contacted me and returned the card to school. I was horrified and more so when the child admitted that it was in every card. When I asked other parents, it was true. (Must've taken him ages.)

It was reported to head of safeguarding - the child concerned was the nephew of another local headteacher. I heard nothing else about the matter.

As a teacher - I would want to know. I understand that this sort of comment can be taken as 'banter' - but no, not appropriate in the circumstances. Children need to learn about appropriate use of language.

I have a Y5 child and I would say this is the year they really start to spread their wings with swearing experimentation.

I’d check the context with your daughter first to make sure there’s no bullying involved then I’d mention it to the teacher but not go wild about it.

The message suggests that she's good friends with the OP's DD.

God it's a joke. it's actually a term of endearment rightly or wrongly. There is no maliciousness in it.

The support teacher sent the card home so presumably they already saw the message and thought it was fine. That's the most concerning part tbh. Is it worth a complaint about a support teacher? I'm not sure.

Year 5 wouldn’t have that access to social media?! Or would they? These are small kids. The handwriting is v poor for Year 5 though.

Also those balloons are particularly well drawn and the handwriting is like fake crap writing. I’m calling a fake here!

The vast majority of y5 will watch YouTube, and YouTube shorts are just recycled tik toks nowadays.

Whether Year 5 kids know this kind of language or not, this should not have been sent home from school. And the idea that it's a joke very much depends on the relationship between the sender and your DD...it's like when people justify nasty comments as banter. I am sure that the regular class teacher would want to know about this.

As a teacher, I would want to know.

Yeah I would still want to look into it. Could be silly friends behaviour, could be more. Either way it's inappropriate and should ping professional curiosity

I was bullied in this way, by kids I thought were my friends. It escalated with age. By my teens they virtually had full control over me and it really affected my mental health. Tell the teacher.

I agree with this. It's not a question of whether they know these words and expressions. I'm certainly not under any illusions when it comes to what my 10 year old knows. But to use the words in this way is completely inappropriate. My eldest is almost 15 and I got a phone call from the school because there was inappropriate language in his homework diary. He had written 'I'm fucked' because he forgot to bring something for an exam. The teacher asked to see his diary and found a few choice phrases written about other people. It turned out they had been written by one of his 'mates' and the teacher conceded that it wasn't his writing and also completely out of character for him. But the point is these were 14 year olds, not 10 year olds, and even then a big deal was made of it - very rightly in my view.

This is not a young teen girl, this is a 9 - 10 year old!

Where did you get year 11 from?

They are year 5.

It's clearly a phrase that has been learned from social media or a programme. The person writing it is possibly trying to show off by using the phrase and doesn't fully understand it. Personally I would mention it to the teacher and ask more about the writer's relationship with your child

You're totally missing the point.

I work with 9 year olds and of course they use inappropriate words because they are still LEARNING what is appropriate and what is not. Those words were not appropriate and so the teacher needs to know so that she can make sure the kids know what it's not appropriate. That's how they LEARN.

Bloody hell, my kids are constantly talking about poo, bums, boobs, willies and farting but there is a time and a place and there is a limit.

Me too.

If you take the anpswearing out it’s quite a nice message aka, you’d better get better.

I’d mildly mention it to dd and say that’s an interesting card but a bit inappropriate, and ask her how she gets on with the child involved and what she’s like.

Based on those answers, I’d make a decision as to mention it at school.

100% depends on DD's relationship with girl in question.
She'll either think it's hilarious and "their secret", or be extremely upset.