White woman In a headscarf, would you stare?

[Tooshyshyhushhushidoi]

And conservative/ ‘modest’ clothing. Would you stare? Would you look twice?

context to follow :)

No I would not

No, I wouldn't look twice, I wouldn't think about it. Although I grew up around a lot of Muslim people and naturally fair Iranian people too.

People stare if you are a woman who is fat, thin, tall, short, too covered up, too uncovered, etc.. You cannot win and you cannot live by the reaction of others.

Fwiw, I went swimming in a "modest" swim outfit last week because I'm insecure about my body. I did not notice a single look because I wasn't looking for one, I was there on a promise to take my kids swimming and for them to enjoy time with their mum. I'm sure if I'd have looked for reactions, there would have been some.

Was it the Queen?

lots Of people will say they wouldn’t but it’s human nature to look slightly longer at anything that is in any way unusual. I guess it’s the reaction afterwards that may be a problem. I’ve been told by Muslim friends that the hijab isn’t actually a part of Islam but is a cultural thing. Is it actually a bit more complex than that?

Hi OP, I'm half Arab with a white mother. My family isn't Muslim, they're (nominally) Catholic, but most of their friends are. In my experience, white women in the UK who choose to wear the hijab do unfortunately attract attention from Islamophobes. There's something deeply unsettling about it - as though they feel White women are UK property. But most people aren't Islamophobes, and will think nothing of it.

Yes I would look twice, as the eye is attracted to anything unusual or different. I hope I would not stare though. I would probably wonder if it were some very fundamentalist Christian sect, unless the headscarf looked more Islamic in style and the way it was worn. Yeah, I would look twice as I would be interested in it. The same way I look twice at anyone in interesting or unusual clothing, whether due to fashion, sub-culture or religion.

Sadly not, or you’d be reading about my story in the paper and I’d be making the rounds on morning tv about the Muslim convert who saw an apparition of the late queen

So it's not just white people or people with tattoos? It is also Muslim males and their mothers? I thought that Muslim men were not supposed to look at or approach other women? If this is for real and not a wind up then I think you are maybe a bit unsure in your decision to cover.

I think its a shame people are so judgy, and am sorry you have encountered it. At one time a lady would never leave the house with her head uncovered, and a headscarf or hat would always be worn by most European women. Your body, your choice.

Personally I wouldn't stare, but then I wouldn't stare at anyone, even if they were walking down the street in a mankini.

It unfortunately wouldn't surprise me in some areas, particularly those that are not particularly multi-cultural. I wish it wasn't the case though.

I remember a documentary in France a few years back, where a lady was saying that her dad asked the ladies of the house to not wear the hijab as it make them look even more beautiful and attract the eyes too much. So perhaps people stares because it highlights your features more? As in make you even more beautiful?
And yes there will ALWAYS be stares, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

im not going to start a debate but what I will say is people who have an agenda will put that forth and argue for that.

lets Use a very polarising set of ideas.

the male (and female) scholars who say it is obligatory will use verses from the Quran, and hadith that speak about veiling and what it means, and how it is incumbent on women for such and such reasons, they might say women who don’t wear it are disobeying God’s command. They might say women in the west have been conditioned to accept being objectified and hyper sexualised and taught that liberation is from nudity.

muslim women who don’t want to wear it or the small minority of scholars who don’t think it’s obligatory might point out how it was customary at the time to cover the head and the ayah refers to covering the chest, and that modesty is more important.

point is people state what they believe rightly or wrongly. I will say it is a majority consensus that the hijab is obligatory

Saw an article this morning where 60 Muslim school girls were hospitalised in Afghanistan, they were allegedly poisoned. So OP shouldn't be concerned in the UK.

@Tooshyshyhushhushidoi no I wouldn't even notice you to be honest.

Yes, I would, because I think it's interesting. I'm Jewish and I certainly stare/look at Orthodox Jewish women in modest dress, because I'm curious and interested, as it's a completely different way of life to mine.

I was on a bus several years opposite a woman in very conservative dress (not sure the correct term, but where you could only see her eyes). She lifted her 'veil' to adjust the earpiece for her phone when someone rang and I saw her face. She was very pale-skinned, freckles, ginger hair, not how I admit I 'expected' her to look. And I thought about her for quite a long time. I was really interested in knowing more about her story, if you will. I probably did stare.

Similarly, there was a woman in a town where I used to live who wore a full body/face covering. She wasn't, from what I learned, Muslim. She just chose to wear it for whatever reason. I thought it was interesting. It was quite a traditional area (as in White British and a bit backwards) though and I can only imagine she probably did get quite a bit of harassment.

But I think it's okay to look at people and to wonder about them and their lives, but I'd hope it wasn't 'staring' as in trying to intimidate people or make them feel uncomfortable. It's just interesting when you encounter someone who doesn't fit your assumptions. I think people saying they wouldn't stare or think twice about it are being a bit silly, because I think most people probably would, even if they wouldn't want to admit it because it's not socially acceptable. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't have as much political support as we do for xenophobic social policies in the UK.

My white friend gets looks but I think its becuase she always looks fab. Gorgeous hijab that matches her outfit. She always looks polished

No. But I do find it interesting that there are so many Iranian women among my friends who have moved here and celebrate their freedom to not have to 'dress modestly' and cover their hair, while their white british counterparts are willingly taking it up.

I guess there aren't many white british women who have experienced the reality of a truly oppressive society that murders women who don't cover up enough.

Rip Mahsa Amini.

you’ve quoted me when someone asked what sort of attention I get (or got pre kids, im seldom without them now) from men.

muslims do look, most of the time it’s without saying anything, just stares, but I’ve found that most from the south Asian Muslim community. Some Asian friends have said it’s quite a cultural thing to stare in general.

but I have had unwanted attention from men, a good handful of incidents. Their mums have approached me, and that would be the men who don’t think it’s appropriate to approach a woman directly. But there are others who clearly think it’s fine, and have approached me in a carpark, supermarket and other unglamorous locations. What Muslims should do and what they actually do are sometimes two different things.

i live in a really mixed area and my former (totally lovely and much missed neighbour) was a Muslim convert. Of course I vaguely noticed what she wore as I vaguely notice anyone but that was it. When I sometimes took a parcel in for her and dropped it off she would have her head uncovered and she had the most stunning head of hair, waist length auburn curls that I was envious of!

No I wouldn't notice. People NOT in scarves are the minority where I live.

They aren’t where I live either which makes it a bit more shocking for me that I stick out so much

I would notice. I wouldn't stand and stare at you though.

Agree with this. It would be really unusual where I live so I’d probably be surprised and might react. Certainly wouldn’t stare and it wouldn’t be my intention to judge or be rude. Anything out of the ordinary surely invokes some curiosity. And what is out of the ordinary varies enormously based on location and personal experience.

The irony is, just a few generations back it wasn't unusual at all to see a white British woman out and about in a headscarf. More for fashion reasons than religion/modesty, but still. People just tend to stare at anything they deem 'unusual', so I'm sure it's more curiosity than judgement. I regularly get odd looks because I opt for bright colours, bold prints and more vintage styles as opposed to the usual jeans and t shirt look that 90% of women stick to. I'm sure your headscarf looks lovely OP

I’m a white convert who wears hijab and have done for 20 years. I’m extra smiley and well spoken and people act normally around me most of time. I don’t notice stares anymore EXCEPT from the scowling Asian Aunties. They are far more brutal.

Friend from a city works in a cafe type environment selling high sugar Unhealthy treats. 80% of their customers are muslim. She doesn't get stared at but says the men are impatient and rude.

So perhaps it depends on where you live