Will children ever be invited to weddings again

[georgianwindow]

We have been invited to quite a few weddings in the last 12 months - seven of them. All of them have been child free. The postman has just been, with another invitation arriving, also adding to the child free wedding invitation pile.
We have a 5 year old and are expecting a baby in 2 months time. Two of the recent invitations have said that we can bring the little one but not the eldest. The ones that do not welcome the baby have been declined because we can not leave such a young baby.
We don't have childcare options readily available to us and have to drive a 2 hour round trip for this.

I have done a couple of the weddings on my own, and DH has as well (and the other of us has stayed at home) but this isn't particularly enjoyable for the one of us that goes to the wedding.

I understand that everyone can make their own decision regarding their weddings but it really it a shame missing out on events because of this, especially when in most circumstances, the bride & groom have children themselves so know how tricky childcare can be. It is the decision of the bride and groom for their wedding day, it does just mean that some guests will decline attending, or attend but possibly not stay for the reception.

Light hearted thread but will children ever be invited to weddings again! We had them at ours and many of them brightened up the day, making people laugh or getting involved, there were no issues regarding behaviour of children and parents were sensible with keeping them occupied during the ceremony. I can't remember the last time I received a wedding invitation that didn't cause some level of stress.

Hahha I was thinking of daytime birthday bbqs, meals etc not a potentially boozy evening party - maybe it’s because everyone I know has children and it’s just the way we are. One big jolly group who enjoy interacting as a whole.

When we got married we invited an old school friend of DH’s who replied saying “Sarah and I would love to come”. We’d never heard of Sarah before and never saw her again because they split up.

We only had one baby at our wedding because we got married before our friends and family had many kids, but I’d rather have had kids there than some of the random plus-ones we never met before or since.

I wouldn’t go if I couldn’t take my child. Would they be excluded from birthday parties too? Odd.

I have never invited my friends’ kids to my birthday party - how bizarre!

You've said it yourself though boozy type events where taking a child might not be appropriate, clearly we go to different kinds of events and have different kinds of social circles, and there's nothing wrong with that. You do you 😃

Given that one of our adult children was heard to say that he was looking forward to an upcoming wedding as the grandparents - who are parents of the bride - would take the kids off his hands at the wedding, I’m delighted that it’s going to be childfree. I don’t know what we did to create such entitlement. They’ll be looked after by their other granny but there will doubtless be a hissy fit first.

🤣🤣🤣

I’ve only had one birthday party since my eighteenth. It was my fiftieth and yes, my friends’ children (and plus ones where applicable) were invited! They also came to our silver wedding party a few years before that….

That number children made up about 15% of the guests. What children’s parties do you go to?

He was left with a nanny, not Fred West.

I have to admit, I gigglesnorted at that line. I love a childfree wedding personally, if I ever get round to getting married my wedding will be niblings only as there are dozens of children in both our families who I don't know.

Children are welcome at mine.
Mainly because I'm not a miserable arse.

The only children at mine will be immediate family and already it’s causing problems as family members are fighting over who will stay sober/leave early/watch said child. It has made me regret even having the close children! This is DP’s side though. The parents of the children invited on my side have expressed their disappointment as they wanted a child free weekend!

@LadyGrinningSoul85

I'm not a miserable arse, if you were directing that nasty comment to me. I just don't see why I would invite children I've never met to my wedding. I wouldn't invite adults I have never met either. My boyfriend and I have eight niblings between us who would be either ushers or bridesmaids cuz I've known them since birth. However I'm not about to invite loads of cousin's children who I've never met and don't know. Plus the small fact that with my anxiety and autism, large groups of small children trigger me something dreadful. I get actual pain from high pitched noises like children screaming and I wouldn't want to be in pain and anxious at my own wedding.

@BubziOwl I will bite- every wedding I've been too that wasn't extremely 'middle class' has had some children there and a venue was chosen that made that easier- they have all been a bit chaotic but fun and it was very much about family. I've been to some lovely childfree posh weddings too -but many I can't say were what I would call great fun- it was all very formal and seemed to have been done using Prince project management in some cases

I realise this may just be my experience though

Because we like our children more than we like you?

@Valeriekat would you bring children along to a hen night if you were invited to that, as you prefer your children to the bride, or would you not go to the hen night if you couldn't take your children?

My husband and I don’t get invited to hen nights together so he was able to be with our children (and vice versa for stag nights). We are always invited to weddings together though…….

When they can behave themselves

"Children are welcome at mine.
Mainly because I'm not a miserable arse."

You should consider competing in the olympics if you can jump that far (to a conclusion)...

@PomegranateRose

Lol, someone's going to need aloe Vera for that burn. 🤣

I've only ever been to one child free wedding and that wasn't by design, we were just young and no-one in the couples circles had children.

I remember when I first joined MN 15 years ago, being astonished that child free weddings were even a thing. I’d never heard of it before. Now everyone does it. I was a single parent and childcare was an issue so I just never went to any weddings. No loss. Must have saved a fortune over the years. They’re usually beyond tedious anyway.

We had a childfree wedding as we had a strict headcount and preferred to have close friends/ family- children would would have taken their places otherwise.

All the parents that came loved having a day and night off! (We didn't have separate invitations for the wedding/ wedding breakfast/ reception- all our guests were invited to the whole thing)

I am now a parent and still don't have an issue with childfree weddings.

I had children at my wedding last year but every wedding I have been to in the past 6 years (10+) have been child free. I always thought weddings were family affairs so I agree

I don't know if I've just been unlucky but all the weddings I've been to include children and every single one had children crying or making noise during the vows (with indulgent parents feebly shushing rather than taking the child out) or children playing with loud toys during the speeches. Maybe children would get invited more if certain selfish parents could read the room a bit better. One woman in particular found her loud baby hilarious during the vows and was giggling along during the babbles.... bizarre behaviour.

I don't understand why parents would expect someone to invite children they don't know? I can see why it would be convenient for the parent but why would you expect a couple to automatically do that? Can anyone explain that to me? Nephews, neices, family friends whose chidlren you are close too, all make so much sense to me.