Will children ever be invited to weddings again

[georgianwindow]

We have been invited to quite a few weddings in the last 12 months - seven of them. All of them have been child free. The postman has just been, with another invitation arriving, also adding to the child free wedding invitation pile.
We have a 5 year old and are expecting a baby in 2 months time. Two of the recent invitations have said that we can bring the little one but not the eldest. The ones that do not welcome the baby have been declined because we can not leave such a young baby.
We don't have childcare options readily available to us and have to drive a 2 hour round trip for this.

I have done a couple of the weddings on my own, and DH has as well (and the other of us has stayed at home) but this isn't particularly enjoyable for the one of us that goes to the wedding.

I understand that everyone can make their own decision regarding their weddings but it really it a shame missing out on events because of this, especially when in most circumstances, the bride & groom have children themselves so know how tricky childcare can be. It is the decision of the bride and groom for their wedding day, it does just mean that some guests will decline attending, or attend but possibly not stay for the reception.

Light hearted thread but will children ever be invited to weddings again! We had them at ours and many of them brightened up the day, making people laugh or getting involved, there were no issues regarding behaviour of children and parents were sensible with keeping them occupied during the ceremony. I can't remember the last time I received a wedding invitation that didn't cause some level of stress.

Oh nooo, they're not just 'not invited' remember, they are... BANNED!! 🙄🙄

Yes, banned or excluded, implying some sort of outrageous bullying scenario.
Batshit.

🤣🤣🤣

BUT I do feel we are living in a world where mothers have no village or support

Combination of older gen still working ft until late age unlike our grandparents.
Village is wanted and allowed as long as they don't have opinion or god forbid try discipline or something.

I grew up with "village around". Family, friends' parents etc. Everyone disciplined us when needed, watched out for us, fed us etc. If, however, my parents decided that I can't be told off by others, village would cease because who would tolerate visiting kid behaving badly in their home.

Exactly.

Now it's give us our benefits, provide free childcare and keep your opinions to yourselves.

No thanks then; I've my own life to lead. Deal with your choice to be a parent on your own.

I had family kids at my wedding approx 6 kids. Most of my friends didn’t have kids at that point. Since having kids I have had 2 family wedding where kids attended but otherwise kids are not invited nor would I wish to take them tbh. I think it’s fine unless it’s close friends or family. It’s definitely a money thing now there would be probably 20/30 kids to invite of family & friends which would be a lot of money and noise 🤣 although the noise wouldn’t bother me!

BUT I do feel we are living in a world where mothers have no village or support, childcare is astronomical and society further segregate us because of the rise in things like… child free weddings (I’d also add people complaining about being near children in restaurants and airplanes etc). Children should be seen and not heard? Now we don’t even want to see them! 7 is ridiculous!

Childfree weddings are the choice of the couple. They are not required to choose a wedding that has societal benefits or combats “segregation”. Equally, people are entitled to prefer a quiet space when dining out or travelling, rather than to have to engage with the noise and disruption that young children naturally bring.

Yes, it’s be a nicer society if all couples and restaurant-goers and flyers were cheerful and happily interacted with all the kids they come across, but them choosing not to do so isn’t wilful contribution to the “segregation” of mothers. It’s just people prioritising a peaceful atmosphere over some random kids.

It’s just people prioritising a peaceful atmosphere over some random kids.

They are rarely “random” at weddings. They are the offspring of invited friends and relatives.

Few of whom will have any meaningful relationship with the happy couple, so the point stands 🤷🏻‍♀️

Definitely wouldn’t change the venue of my dreams just so people could bring their kids!

I think it’s a real shame to exclude children. It’s part of how special the day is that everyone is there. We had about 30 children at ours. I can maybe understand friends children not being invited as your not friends with the children but your family children I find totally bizzare! Those children ARE your family, not just offspring of a cousin for eg. Your family. If the venues too small get a bigger venue and don’t be ageist.

My children love going to weddings but haven't taken them to many (only family ones) even if invited. We invited family children, babies and those travelling a very long way (who didn't bring them but they were welcome)- but not most friends' children as there were so many of them and we've have had to really cut our guest list to fit them in and it would have been a children's party! It's hard when there are so many to sort out at once.

I was the first of my generation of my extended family to get married so there were no family children to invite. The only children present at our wedding were my DH’s godson and his sister.

Don’t be ageist
🤣🤣🤣

I didn't have kids at mine. There was a maximum capacity, we already had to trim our list and it was a black tie wedding starting mid afternoon. Those with children figured it out. Our two young attendants stayed for the photos and drinks reception then their grandmother took them home.
Some weddings are appropriate for children, some are not. Personally I'd be delighted to have gone out for a social occasion without my kids!
And lucky you to be invited - I think I've been invited to seven weddings in total! And I'm 61.

Not everyone has childcare options! DH and I had no family to help and no we didn’t go anywhere together without the children until they were old enough to be left alone! Our first night away together without children was when youngest went camping with the school and our eldest was 17!

Don’t you have any friends??

Imagine the fallout if you only invited kids you know and like, like you hopefully invite adults you like? That would make things more equal and not ageist 😂

DH was an usher at a friend’s wedding years ago. Invitation didn’t mention our then 2-year-old but didn’t say no kids either so we asked whether we could bring her. Friend said “if you have to, but make sure she doesn’t make any
noise and don’t expect her to be fed”.

It’s actually not a bad idea, really, but he could have put it better…!

What about stepchildren, do they need to be invited too?

You may want to invite your friend from university/school but you can't just invite her on her own, so you invite her husband. They can't come without their children, but you also need to invite her step-children too. Your 1 guest is now 7 guests.

The problem is people are getting married much later in life, when most people around them have small kids. I got married "young", the first one in my social circle, at the age of 27 (!) and no one had kids! I didn't have to make it a child free wedding! But now I'm 35 and many people have small children it's becoming a real problem!

On this point, I've never seen a wedding invite specify no children. Surely it's whoever is named on the invite that is actually invited. Why would they need to specify?

If you want children at your wedding invite them, if you don’t then don’t! It’s really up to the bride and groom and people should respect that decision. If you can’t come due to childcare then don’t go, but you can not expect people to change their special day because of your children.

I’ve had to miss a few weddings with a small baby, it’s not been a problem for anyone, that’s just how it is.

Personally I think it depends on the type of venue, day weddings that are in a field and wrap up early evening are fine for children. Those that start early evening in a bar type venue are not suitable.

Unnecessary and nasty.

I’m just bemused that someone can get their children to the age where they can safely be left alone without ever being away from them for even a couple of hours, because there are literally zero people who could take them in an emergency (not that attending a wedding constitutes an emergency, obviously ...)
How do you do that?