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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact to the police?

110 replies

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:28

Hello

Honest opinions please...

So, a few hours ago I took my son to the park, he needed to go to the toilet so I allowed him to to use a bush, I understand that some people might find this a little unreasonable of me, and by no means do I want him to believe it's acceptable to do this.

As we were carrying on with our journey I was approached by a lady who went to say that it's wrong and I should make him use the toilet and people like me shouldn't be allowed to have children, I told my son to ride his scooter as I tried to ignore her then asked her politely if she could stop, because she was raising her voice and drawing attention.

She even pointed out to another lady what I had just let my son do, the ladies response was to just ignore her and a comment about she regularly "picks on people in the park, and can become aggressive"

I thanked the lady and continued to walk, she just wouldn't stop, so I got my phone out and started recording her then to my disbelieve she spat towards me, luckily a man then got involved.

I'm still shaken up about the whole situation, and the fact that she spat towards me (it didn't touch me)

Would it be unreasonable for me to contact the police and report her?

OP posts:
Lizzt2007 · 03/06/2023 19:31

She shouldn't have spat, you shouldn't have let your child wee where people could see him. Neither of you are reasonable but no calling the police would be ridiculous.

Sapphire387 · 03/06/2023 19:31

Not unreasonable.

Also not unreasonable to let your child use a bush if there are no toilets in the vicinity, depending on age of child.

Marmablade · 03/06/2023 19:34

If you have evidence then absolutely report. It is an offence.

PutMyFootinit · 03/06/2023 19:36

Was it a wee or a poo? I'd be disgusted if you let him poo and just left it there visible (see dog owners too!) But I would never spit or shout. She sounds like the local nutcase but I wouldn't bother reporting.

ArgosKettle · 03/06/2023 19:37

I would report it.

the public toilets in my local parks are often locked, and if they are open- they are usually filthy, covered in shit, urine and who knows what else - I’m letting my child use the bush and I don’t care what anyone says.

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:38

Marmablade · 03/06/2023 19:34

If you have evidence then absolutely report. It is an offence.

Thank you, I appreciate your response. I will give 101 a call, I just wouldn't want her to behave in the same way to another stranger.

OP posts:
Niceseasidetown · 03/06/2023 19:38

Yes it would be utterly ridiculous to expect the state to intervene because you're upset.

Wingedharpy · 03/06/2023 19:40

How old is your son?
If he's 25 - she's right.

tiggergoesbounce · 03/06/2023 19:42

Dont police call it assault if they are spat at ?

But yes letting your son have a wee in a bush does not warrant someone spitting at you (im not sure anything does) the police are so over stretched as it is, but maybe put it on someone's radar that she is unbalanced.

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:42

PutMyFootinit · 03/06/2023 19:36

Was it a wee or a poo? I'd be disgusted if you let him poo and just left it there visible (see dog owners too!) But I would never spit or shout. She sounds like the local nutcase but I wouldn't bother reporting.

It was a wee, my son is only 6 years of age and is usually good at waiting but today he said he was desperate, he had his back to me and the public, it didn't look obvious.

OP posts:
YellowHatt · 03/06/2023 19:46

I don’t know whether you should or not. It might come down to your motive:
ie Are you contacting the police because they need to know about this person or are you calling them because you want vindication because you’re upset?

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:49

YellowHatt · 03/06/2023 19:46

I don’t know whether you should or not. It might come down to your motive:
ie Are you contacting the police because they need to know about this person or are you calling them because you want vindication because you’re upset?

To be honest, I want to call them because she's upset me! I'm still shaken up, I'm not used to confrontations, I've literally had to come home and open a bottle of wine to calm myself down.

OP posts:
Kinneddar · 03/06/2023 19:52

Unless you can identify her & tell them who she is there's basically no point. They'll certainly take a report but without knowing who she is there'll be no line of enquiry

Doggymummar · 03/06/2023 19:54

Probably don't ring if you have been drinking

Dacadactyl · 03/06/2023 19:55

I think it's overkill to contact the police about a busybody in the park.

I'd have just walked off and said "He's 6! He can wee where he likes if he needs to go". I certainly wouldn't have entertained her for any longer than it took to say that.

Sad old bat.

CremeEggThief · 03/06/2023 19:57

No. She was nasty and OTT, but I don't think this will be top of the list of priorities for the coppers on a sunny Saturday night.

RedRosette2023 · 03/06/2023 19:58

ArgosKettle · 03/06/2023 19:37

I would report it.

the public toilets in my local parks are often locked, and if they are open- they are usually filthy, covered in shit, urine and who knows what else - I’m letting my child use the bush and I don’t care what anyone says.

Me too. The alternative is pissing his pants.

highlandspooce · 03/06/2023 19:58

I would report someone who spat at me, yes. That's assault. Whatever people fell about your son going for a per is irrelevant because these are 2 separate issues. She was annoyed about your child. Her reaction was vicious.

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 19:59

A six year old should be able to hold in and you should have taken him home.

She should not have spat at you or harassed you. The police will roll their eyes and do nothing about the whole thing.

thatcornishfeeling · 03/06/2023 20:00

Full moon problems.

Horrible woman!!

Topee · 03/06/2023 20:01

I would bother reporting it, it won’t be investigated and is a waste of Police time.

Just make sure your son goes where he can’t be seen in future.

Jinglybangly · 03/06/2023 20:02

Where do these people think the animals piss?! A drunk man pissing in a doorway is unacceptable, a 6 year old having a quick wee in the bush (where hundreds of other animals have already been) is acceptable.

Grumpigal · 03/06/2023 20:02

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 19:59

A six year old should be able to hold in and you should have taken him home.

She should not have spat at you or harassed you. The police will roll their eyes and do nothing about the whole thing.

I’m 42 and sometimes I can’t hold it in.

come on, we’ve ALL had to pee in a bush at some point in our lives.
It’s a bit of wee, in a bush. Dogs wee all over the place in parks fgs

SoTired12 · 03/06/2023 20:03

The police won't do anything, it's pointless ringing them.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:04

You are being totally OTT reporting it, IMO.

6 year old weeing in a bush 🤷‍♀️!

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