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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact to the police?

110 replies

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:28

Hello

Honest opinions please...

So, a few hours ago I took my son to the park, he needed to go to the toilet so I allowed him to to use a bush, I understand that some people might find this a little unreasonable of me, and by no means do I want him to believe it's acceptable to do this.

As we were carrying on with our journey I was approached by a lady who went to say that it's wrong and I should make him use the toilet and people like me shouldn't be allowed to have children, I told my son to ride his scooter as I tried to ignore her then asked her politely if she could stop, because she was raising her voice and drawing attention.

She even pointed out to another lady what I had just let my son do, the ladies response was to just ignore her and a comment about she regularly "picks on people in the park, and can become aggressive"

I thanked the lady and continued to walk, she just wouldn't stop, so I got my phone out and started recording her then to my disbelieve she spat towards me, luckily a man then got involved.

I'm still shaken up about the whole situation, and the fact that she spat towards me (it didn't touch me)

Would it be unreasonable for me to contact the police and report her?

OP posts:
highlandspooce · 03/06/2023 20:42

Hbh17 · 03/06/2023 20:40

People on here are obsessed with "reporting" trivial things. This poor woman may be either troubled, unwell or just unpleasant but please just leave her be - no harm has been done. I would imagine that the police would just laugh at a complaint about this - honestly, what are they supposed to do?

Being spat at isn't trivial

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 20:46

I've decided not to report her, it was pretty clear that she had some form of mental health issues.

I'm just not used to those type of confrontations, I was just taken back by the fact she proceeded to spit at me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 20:47

Hbh17 · 03/06/2023 20:40

People on here are obsessed with "reporting" trivial things. This poor woman may be either troubled, unwell or just unpleasant but please just leave her be - no harm has been done. I would imagine that the police would just laugh at a complaint about this - honestly, what are they supposed to do?

To be honest with you, I don't know...

I just hope she stops harassing random people in the park.

OP posts:
SerenityNowInsanityLater · 03/06/2023 20:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Dacadactyl · 03/06/2023 20:51

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 20:46

I've decided not to report her, it was pretty clear that she had some form of mental health issues.

I'm just not used to those type of confrontations, I was just taken back by the fact she proceeded to spit at me.

Don't take it to heart then, shes not well.

Theres plenty of odd bods where I live and i think you have to take them with a pinch of salt and just ignore them.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:56

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 20:46

I've decided not to report her, it was pretty clear that she had some form of mental health issues.

I'm just not used to those type of confrontations, I was just taken back by the fact she proceeded to spit at me.

To be honest, as you say she’s got mental health issues and the police won’t help that. Sadly the days of police helping people with MH issues is long gone.

Have your wine, have a cry (understandable), tomorrow is a new (and sunny) day!

highlandspooce · 03/06/2023 21:02

Mental health doesn't give people a pass to assault others.

Brigitteshittette · 03/06/2023 21:03

She’s probably quite unwell. We have have a lady like this locally , she rants and shouts at everyone about the tiniest things . The locals are used to it and know she has a mental illness but I think anyone need to the area could easily get into a lengthy confrontation.
I don’t think the police will be interested.
6yo’s can pee in trees it’s good for the flowers.

Redglitter · 03/06/2023 21:04

To be honest, as you say she’s got mental health issues and the police won’t help that. Sadly the days of police helping people with MH issues is long gone

Are you kidding? My shift spend more time dealing with MH issues than actual crime these days

drpet49 · 03/06/2023 21:05

Grumpigal · 03/06/2023 20:02

I’m 42 and sometimes I can’t hold it in.

come on, we’ve ALL had to pee in a bush at some point in our lives.
It’s a bit of wee, in a bush. Dogs wee all over the place in parks fgs

Show quote history

I can say I’ve never had to pee in a bush. Also why are these threads always about boys who have to pee in public. Never girls who do that.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 21:08

highlandspooce · 03/06/2023 21:02

Mental health doesn't give people a pass to assault others.

So how do you deal with that?

How do you tell a schizophrenic, to not be paranoid?

InsaneInTheMamBrain · 03/06/2023 21:12

A young man verbally abused a relative and friend in the street and they reported it. The police did take it seriously. He had mental health issues and as a result his care plan was reassessed and he was not allowed out for an extensive period of time without an escort to protect both him and the public. As previously suggested by another poster, I would report online.

Irritateandunreasonable · 03/06/2023 21:12

The police will see you as antagonising because you recorded it.

It will be used in her defence - I know it sounds crazy but it won’t go any further. Also, if she’s always going this, like an onlooker said, she’s likely mentally ill.

Aslanplustwo · 03/06/2023 21:15

You didn't do anything wrong, and she shouldn't have spat at you - but the police???? Surely they have far more important things to be doing. Also, and I mean this kindly, your reaction is a bit OTT.

WonderingWanda · 03/06/2023 21:16

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 19:59

A six year old should be able to hold in and you should have taken him home.

She should not have spat at you or harassed you. The police will roll their eyes and do nothing about the whole thing.

Not all 6 year olds can hold it. Some children have bladder issues and have accidents till much older. I teach some teenagers who still have problems.

SaltyCrisps · 03/06/2023 21:18

Doggymummar · 03/06/2023 19:54

Probably don't ring if you have been drinking

Drinking isn't illegal, and having a drink doesn't mean that a person is drunk.

Original poster
ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 21:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Thankfully he is fine, I don't think he even realised what had happened, he was too busy riding his scooter.

OP posts:
NadjaCravensworth1 · 03/06/2023 21:22

I really don't think there's anything wrong with letting your 6 year old wee in a bush, I think you have to be particularly uptight to be offended by this.

This woman sounds vile but honestly you can't ring the police because someone upset you, unless you truly think she might be a danger to others. If it happens again then record it, talk to witnesses etc but tbh I would get on with your life and forget about her. She sounds miserable.

highlandspooce · 03/06/2023 21:29

@Billyho

So how do you deal with that?

That's not up to me, but if someone spits at me in a park you can bet your life I am reporting them.

How do you tell a schizophrenic, to not be paranoid?

I'm not sure why you think I have suggested you do?

NadjaCravensworth1 · 03/06/2023 21:30

Hence the word should twice in that sentence. I have a six year old and always make sure they go to the loo before a trip out to the park. I’d only let them go in a bush if it was between an accident or not; otherwise I would take them home.

Maybe it's because I grew up in the countryside but it's mad to me that you would take your child home rather than having a quick wee in a bush. I understand it might be offensive in full view of ppl but surely not if she's making sure no one can see? Do you only ever go out for a couple of hours? It's not a bad skill for a child to learn how to wild wee, it's perfectly natural. I'd imagine it's quite anxiety inducing for both of you telling them to hold it in and rushing home to the loo.

NadjaCravensworth1 · 03/06/2023 21:33

How long were they in the park for because to get to a desperate stage, surely they should have just gone before they left home. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nobody wants to be playing in or around public spaces that humans or other animals use as a toilet.*

Uh-huh. Where is your magic park that wild animals are not allowed into?

PosseGalore · 03/06/2023 21:33

I use the bush myself if I have to. I had no idea it wasn’t ok.

rwalker · 03/06/2023 21:35

Horrendous but in all honesty what’s going to happen
doubt they would be able to find her and the time and cost of investigating even if they did could be better spent elsewhere

if by some remote chance they tracked her down what would realistically happen to her a caution or pittance of a fine at best

gogohmm · 03/06/2023 21:36

At 6 he was far too old for it to be acceptable, but her behaviour was over the top

Snugglemonkey · 03/06/2023 21:41

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:13

And it’s a park

dogs wee and shit there
foxes wee and shit there
squirrels wee and shit there
badgers wee and shit there
cats wee and shit there

best you stay home….

Show quote history

And birds, mice, rats, hedgehogs, etc, etc. You do understand that nature is one giant toilet for animals?