To contact to the police?

[ThankYouMama]

Hello

Honest opinions please...

So, a few hours ago I took my son to the park, he needed to go to the toilet so I allowed him to to use a bush, I understand that some people might find this a little unreasonable of me, and by no means do I want him to believe it's acceptable to do this.

As we were carrying on with our journey I was approached by a lady who went to say that it's wrong and I should make him use the toilet and people like me shouldn't be allowed to have children, I told my son to ride his scooter as I tried to ignore her then asked her politely if she could stop, because she was raising her voice and drawing attention.

She even pointed out to another lady what I had just let my son do, the ladies response was to just ignore her and a comment about she regularly "picks on people in the park, and can become aggressive"

I thanked the lady and continued to walk, she just wouldn't stop, so I got my phone out and started recording her then to my disbelieve she spat towards me, luckily a man then got involved.

I'm still shaken up about the whole situation, and the fact that she spat towards me (it didn't touch me)

Would it be unreasonable for me to contact the police and report her?

I do think six is far too old in an urban park unless there is SEN, a bladder infection and/or a genuine urgency. Sometimes you can plan toilet breaks well, and yet a child will randomly need the toilet when you're too far away from one. It's especially easy in this heat, as a lot of children will gulp down water far too quickly and misjudge when they need to go until it's (nearly) too late.

If you are routinely letting your child piss in a bush, I don't think that's right. Children grow up into adults, and men pissing everywhere is grim. Funny how you never seen women do that...

But, as I said, if it was a genuine emergency (and only you know, we weren't there), then it was just one of those things. Not great, but the best solution you could come up with in the moment. A lot of situations involving kids aren't ideal, but you do the best you can!

Filming the woman was a bad move, as it escalated things. What did you actually say to the woman when she first approached you? Did you say something like, 'Sorry, it's an emergency,' and look apologetic, or did you just ignore her?

From what you've said, I don't think you should report her. You didn't exactly cover yourself in glory either, and your motivations are because you were upset, not because you think she's a danger to the public.

I am sorry you were shaken up, though, and I don't think she was right to have a go at you in the way she did.

I work within the police and yes would 100% report because spitting at the moment is being taken very seriously after an incident that has happened in the south yorkshire region which ended up with serious consequences. Its classed as an assault so don't hesitate at all. Kids need to go sometimes and she should have minded her business. Okay she didn't and she voiced her opinion but just because you didn't agree doesn't give her a right to violate you like that.

An alternate viewpoint- we have a few local mentally unwell people, when there are similar incidents the police like to be informed so they can escalate to services or take action. It builds a picture.

Also spitting at someone is a crime and way more disgusting than a small wee.

Spitting is disgusting and spreads disease. I would report her especially if she has form.
a wee under a bush by a desperate six year old is fine.

Normally I'd just put it down to a horrible experience, however ... Where I live, there is an elderly lady, who is about and around every day. She dresses nicely, full lipstick and make-up, but she has an opinion on everything. She'll stop you the street, crikey, I've been on a few bus journeys and she's been there spouting her vitriol.

She ended up slapping a 2 year old around the face for crying and telling the Mum that it's the only way they'll learn.

Hopefully the police, wherever you are may have a bit of a dossier on her, like ours does here.

So, yes report via non emergency. Do try to put it behind you though. Spitting is disgusting. She needs to know what disgusting is.

Sounds like possible mh issues.

Well someone taking offence at a 6 year old having a wee who then proceeds to spit at you is clearly unwell

Sometimes dc need to pee, my sister was far worse for not being able to hold it than any of my 4 boys

I've been caught out myself at times , especially if we go to the local woods and I'm 45 now

@fucktonofcats

I tried to ignore her but she wouldn't stop so I asked her to please stop, I didn't want to engage in any conversation with her and I didn't feel the need to justify myself to her.

It is not a regular occurrence, it only happens once every few months. I will not allow my child to think it's acceptable to do so, I do not want him picking up a dirty habit, because in reality that's what it is.

I wouldn’t bother with the police but it irks me that dogs can pee up the side of the play park railing yet if me kid pees in a secluded bush it’s wrong? I have also had my kids use a potty in public - it’s not my preference but when you have 4 kids aged 5 and under and they are playing in the park, you don’t always have time to scoop up the potty-training one and get them to the nearest public convenience in time.

If it's not a regular occurrence, then I think your DS urinating publicly was just one of those things.

The woman was not to know that.

With hindsight, maybe ignoring her completely wasn't the right strategy. You say it's a dirty habit - in her head, maybe you were going to let your DS do this all the time. It's OK for her to have pride in her local park. The way she expressed that pride was wrong, but I do think you made things worse by videoing her.

I don't think videoing someone has ever made them calmer.

I also think you should have tried a quick apology, regardless of whether you felt you owed it to her. You told her to stop her behaviour, but gave her no assurances your son wouldn't repeat his.

I don't think making someone feel unheard has ever made them calmer either.

I think a quick, 'I'm sorry, it won't happen again' is a better way of trying to acknowledge and shut down a conversation than silence followed by 'please don't do that' and whipping out your phone. It's not about what you think you owe the other person, but about what you think will get them to disengage quickest.

I get that it's difficult to react well when something unpleasant is sprung on you and hindsight is a wonderful thing. However, because I don't think you handled this particularly well, I think complaining about her to the police is not appropriate.

I hope you're feeling better after a night's rest and you can shake off this episode.