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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact to the police?

110 replies

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:28

Hello

Honest opinions please...

So, a few hours ago I took my son to the park, he needed to go to the toilet so I allowed him to to use a bush, I understand that some people might find this a little unreasonable of me, and by no means do I want him to believe it's acceptable to do this.

As we were carrying on with our journey I was approached by a lady who went to say that it's wrong and I should make him use the toilet and people like me shouldn't be allowed to have children, I told my son to ride his scooter as I tried to ignore her then asked her politely if she could stop, because she was raising her voice and drawing attention.

She even pointed out to another lady what I had just let my son do, the ladies response was to just ignore her and a comment about she regularly "picks on people in the park, and can become aggressive"

I thanked the lady and continued to walk, she just wouldn't stop, so I got my phone out and started recording her then to my disbelieve she spat towards me, luckily a man then got involved.

I'm still shaken up about the whole situation, and the fact that she spat towards me (it didn't touch me)

Would it be unreasonable for me to contact the police and report her?

OP posts:
TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:06

Grumpigal · 03/06/2023 20:02

I’m 42 and sometimes I can’t hold it in.

come on, we’ve ALL had to pee in a bush at some point in our lives.
It’s a bit of wee, in a bush. Dogs wee all over the place in parks fgs

Show quote history

Hence the word should twice in that sentence. I have a six year old and always make sure they go to the loo before a trip out to the park. I’d only let them go in a bush if it was between an accident or not; otherwise I would take them home.

yorkshirebird2382 · 03/06/2023 20:06

Why is it OK for dogs to wee wherever they please but a child who is desperate can't? I know there comes a time when it's no longer OK, but a 6 year old weeing in a bush is perfectly acceptable to me. To then be spat at?? Just no!

FuckNuggets · 03/06/2023 20:07

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 19:59

A six year old should be able to hold in and you should have taken him home.

She should not have spat at you or harassed you. The police will roll their eyes and do nothing about the whole thing.

I don't think you've ever met a 6 year old.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:08

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:06

Hence the word should twice in that sentence. I have a six year old and always make sure they go to the loo before a trip out to the park. I’d only let them go in a bush if it was between an accident or not; otherwise I would take them home.

Show quote history

So the six year old on question said he was desperate…… is that not pre accident?

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 03/06/2023 20:09

Jesus my kids love a wild wee and it was even encouraged at their nurseries as so much easier than trudging 20 mins to the loos while at forest school. YANBU OP she is revolting spitting at someone (weeing into a plant is not comparable). Report to police and sounds like she will be known to them as has a reputation!

Artgalleryloner · 03/06/2023 20:10

ArgosKettle · 03/06/2023 19:37

I would report it.

the public toilets in my local parks are often locked, and if they are open- they are usually filthy, covered in shit, urine and who knows what else - I’m letting my child use the bush and I don’t care what anyone says.

Same here!

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:10

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:08

So the six year old on question said he was desperate…… is that not pre accident?

Show quote history

How long were they in the park for because to get to a desperate stage, surely they should have just gone before they left home. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nobody wants to be playing in or around public spaces that humans or other animals use as a toilet.

MumblesParty · 03/06/2023 20:11

Completely fine for a 6 year old to wee in a hedge. Happens all the time.

The woman sounds nasty, but I’m not sure the police would be interested, especially if you don’t know who she is or where she lives.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:11

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:10

How long were they in the park for because to get to a desperate stage, surely they should have just gone before they left home. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nobody wants to be playing in or around public spaces that humans or other animals use as a toilet.

Show quote history

Oh Snowy you’re the perfect fecking wee controlling parent, if only all others could be like your perfect self….

here is your 🏅!!

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:13

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:10

How long were they in the park for because to get to a desperate stage, surely they should have just gone before they left home. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Nobody wants to be playing in or around public spaces that humans or other animals use as a toilet.

Show quote history

And it’s a park

dogs wee and shit there
foxes wee and shit there
squirrels wee and shit there
badgers wee and shit there
cats wee and shit there

best you stay home….

Muststopeating · 03/06/2023 20:16

Well it was a minimum 25 minute wait to speak to someone on 101 a few nights ago so...

You only have to spend an hour on MN to understand why A&Es are full and the police are overwhelmed.

I presume you do not intend for the case to be investigated and end up in court?

The only other reason to contact the police would be in the hope they can stop her harassing someone else... They can't! The only way to do so would be to lock her up (they won't and nor should they) or get her the mental health support she potentially needs (and there's no chance of that either because the queue is out the door... Yet another service being abused by people with absolutely no common sense).

So I wouldn't bother wasting your time, or theirs!

Ivyiris · 03/06/2023 20:17

Spitting is assault. It's disgusting 🤢 I

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:20

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:11

Oh Snowy you’re the perfect fecking wee controlling parent, if only all others could be like your perfect self….

here is your 🏅!!

Show quote history

We clearly just come from very different democratic backgrounds and have different standards for what is and what is not acceptable. I don’t need a medal for keeping it classy; it just comes naturally.

booktokbear · 03/06/2023 20:23

It's a wild wee, he's a kid, it was in the bushes, it's fine.

Whats disgusting is grown adults doing this on the street when drunk at night.

But don't bother the police on a sat night because of the resident busy body.

TallerThanAverage · 03/06/2023 20:23

ThankYouMama · 03/06/2023 19:38

Thank you, I appreciate your response. I will give 101 a call, I just wouldn't want her to behave in the same way to another stranger.

Show quote history

If you report this incident to the police what outcome do you expect?

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:23

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:20

We clearly just come from very different democratic backgrounds and have different standards for what is and what is not acceptable. I don’t need a medal for keeping it classy; it just comes naturally.

Show quote history

But you still do let your child piss in the bush, if you decide it’s ok?

yeah real classy, your kidding pissing in the bush because otherwise it’s an accident, anyone else’s “well it’s the parenting”!

oh and animals piss and shit in the park all the time, so go figure how you navigate that… because you don’t want your child playing there!

Then fuck I understand animals and parks…. I’m clearly far more realistic and intelligent than you!

W0tnow · 03/06/2023 20:23

I really don’t are about kids having a discreet pee.

I think reporting it is a waste of police time though.

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:24

W0tnow · 03/06/2023 20:23

I really don’t are about kids having a discreet pee.

I think reporting it is a waste of police time though.

👏

jelliestfish · 03/06/2023 20:31

TheSnowyOwl "We clearly just come from very different democratic backgrounds"

I'm not sure how you figure democracy comes into this one?! Or do you mean something else?

jelliestfish · 03/06/2023 20:33

Also, I would report this online. I wouldn't expect an investigation, but given she has form for turning aggressive, it could be a useful record if she more seriously assaults someone in the future.

Devonshiregal · 03/06/2023 20:34

Yeah why can people let their dog piss and crap everywhere but little kids are shamed? How ridiculous. He’s 6. Not a drunken oaf wearing in broad day light. And even if there are toilet in the park this country is disgusting when it comes to public loos. I wouldn’t let my kids use them if I could help it. Hell I’D rather pee in a bush that my local public loos.

yes report her. She attempted to assault you. She apparently had form for this behaviour and clearly doesn’t care about children being present. Every person who reports her adds to any future report’s weight.

and of course you’re upset, how terrible and gross. And upsetting for you trying to protect your child from her and from being shamed.

JustGeorgie · 03/06/2023 20:36

You said you want to report her because she has 'upset you'

For that Yabu

You can't waste police time reporting people because they have upset you!!

Billyho · 03/06/2023 20:37

jelliestfish · 03/06/2023 20:31

TheSnowyOwl "We clearly just come from very different democratic backgrounds"

I'm not sure how you figure democracy comes into this one?! Or do you mean something else?

She means that my saying that the DS in this situation was desperate and therefore an accident could occur, is not her idea of desperate, because OP should’ve made sure the DS had a wee before he left home. So it’s not appropriate for him to see in a bush.

She allows her child to wee in a bush to avoid an accident and that’s ok, because ….. well her child’s desperate is more than OPs child desperate.

therefore she thinks she’s better than OP and me?

But she’s not!

A wee is a wee, whatever the reason the child had it.

SoTired12 · 03/06/2023 20:38

TheSnowyOwl · 03/06/2023 20:20

We clearly just come from very different democratic backgrounds and have different standards for what is and what is not acceptable. I don’t need a medal for keeping it classy; it just comes naturally.

Show quote history

So you're "classy" for letting your child piss in a bush but others have low standards if they let their child do it 🙃

Hbh17 · 03/06/2023 20:40

People on here are obsessed with "reporting" trivial things. This poor woman may be either troubled, unwell or just unpleasant but please just leave her be - no harm has been done. I would imagine that the police would just laugh at a complaint about this - honestly, what are they supposed to do?