DH has been taking a hair loss drug without telling me

[Delia33]

My DH told me this evening that he's been taking finasteride for three months. We've been TTC for a year and I've had 2 MC. These were before he started taking it (I think.)

Aibu to think he should have told me about this? From the limited research I've done online it looks like this drug can affect sperm quality.

I feel totally blindsided but I don't know if I'm overreacting.

Nevermind, carry on 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wow! You searched extensively. I hope you’re helping the world out there you must be a top scientist with multiple resources from the top laboratories in the world.

I meant Rita's OH.

Absolute cobblers.

YANBU he should of told you.

@Ozzbozz20

wheres the research?!

Yes he should have told you (assuming he knew) - it's been linked to birth defects. My DH also took it without telling me but we were long past TTC age.

YANBU. At all.

•	are trying for a baby or have a pregnant partner – this medicine passes into semen and can affect an unborn baby

This is why my husband stopped looking into it.

That poor possible baby, if you had conceived, could have been really poorly.

Absolutely YANBU!! These drugs are known to harm his unborn baby. It’s the same as a pregnant woman drinking or taking drugs. It’s known to harm the unborn baby so you just don’t do it! Are you in tne uk? Any half decent Dr would have checked if he was trying to conceive before even prescribing the drug. If he knew and he took them anyway you need to leave him asap and find a much better potential father for your child! If he somehow didn’t know I’d still be tempted to leave on the basis that he has a responsibility to protect his unborn child by checking this kind of thing! It’s probably even written on the packet/in the info leaflet. Is it really a good idea to have a baby with this man? His attitude is all wrong

I’ve only read the first page and I can’t believe the amount of people who think this is ok. Decent chance the drugs he’s taken have contributed to two miscarriages for the OP, but it’s only about his bodily autonomy? He wants to take the drug, he tells her and they use condoms. Or if she’s got any sense she leaves him and finds a man who wants a child.

No you don't have a right know everything he puts into his body. Do some more research, speak to a doctor and if it is genuinely at risk of affecting his sperm then let him know what you've found out but it's still his body, his choice. Is he as keen for children as you?

He wasn't taking the dogs when she had the miscarriages, so that's highly unlikely.

^^ Oops. Drugs. I've just taken the dog for a,walk. Lol.

In light of that, which he would have been aware of, him continuing to try to conceive with you is fairly horrendous.

Isn’t.

There is evidence to suggest that Finasteride may affect the development of a fetus in pregnant women. The medication has been shown to cross the placental barrier and can potentially harm the development of the fetus.

There have also been cases of birth defects reported in children whose mothers were exposed to Finasteride during pregnancy. For these reasons, it is important to use condoms when having sex and make sure the tablets never come into contact with the mother as the drug can be absorbed through the skin.

Men are advised to stop three months before attempting to conceive.

Agog at the people saying YABU. He should absolutely have told you. The men I know who use it all stopped for TTC, and then went back to it after.

Imagine if you were TTC but you were the one blithely taking an acne treatment that was known to cause irregular ovulation, and were commiserating with your disappointed husband every month when you didn't conceive, but not saying a word about your acne treatment.

Of course it's his body and his choice to use it if he wants to, and maybe he didn't read about the side affects and honestly didn't know it lowers fertility, but it's an important choice for both of you to know about in these very specific circumstances.

I don’t want to upset you anymore then you must be already OP, but I don’t think you are wrong for feeling like you do at all. Having gone through infertility issues and miscarriage myself I know how hard it is, and I would find knowledge of this very upsetting. I think it’s the kind of thing I’d want to speak to a marriage counsellor about

My DP stopped taking one of his hair loss drugs both times we were ttc. The other one was ok.

I too can't believe he didn't tell you. For a couple struggling to conceive, to not mention this is massive.

He should have told you.

You’re reading about it. Reading will do more to freak you out than anything else possibly could.
Have you gone to the GP? Have you found a specialist? Could you phone your GP and ask them how much finasteride will affect your husband’s sperm count?
I’m not in any way trying to minimize your concerns - your concerns are absolutely legitimate. I’m saying talk to an actual medical professional. Talk to a physician.
That’ll be the quickest and easiest way to allay your fears and hesitations.
I wish you the very best, @Delia33

I would be upset too, he should have told you while you are trying to conceive. Yes he has every right to take it but he should give you the right to stop TTC based on the drug he's taking.

It's also alarming he's taking this without consulting his GP first.

It was his decision to take this drug.

However, as it could have had an impact on his sperm and thus on any baby that the OP carried in her body, he should have told the OP if they were actively TTC. Because it then affected her bodily autonomy.

He decided it was low risk. He didn't give the OP to chance to do her own research and form her own opinion.