It’s a Schofield question - don’t click if you’re fed up with it!

[Schofe99]

I know there are lots of other threads. I haven’t found anyone asking/thinking what I am.

I watched the interview. The way he softened when mentioning the young man and emphasised several times that he’s the one he’s most concerned about.

Was it just me thinking WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE??? When Amol asked why it was wrong/what he regretted, I assumed he’d say “well, mainly I was unfaithful to my wife. That was wrong. Im so sorry about that.”

And when he was asked about other gay experiences/relationships he shut that down. Which left me thinking, again, WHAT ABOUT BEING UNFAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE!!!

He’s talked about “us four” before and mentioned it again in the interview. But it’s not ok for him to have all the cosiness and support of a family unit when he’s being unfaithful, surely?

So my AIBU is am I the only one who is seeing this mainly through the eyes of his wife who is watching her husbands infidelity playing out in public? Maybe they’re not sexually intimate and haven’t been for years. But they’re clearly emotionally intimate, spend a lot of time together etc. How UTTERLY GRIM if she didn’t know that her husband was shagging young men. (I really don’t think she did know - I believe him when he says he lied to her).

Ok, so my main points were that yes, I’m sure she knew he was gay. But no, I don’t think anyone can assume she knew he was sleeping with other people. As others have said, he’s always been v scathing of people who are not faithful.

Secondly, the way he spoke about MM was almost fawning. And unless he is assuming everyone thinks his wife would be really cool with him shagging men then I think a public apology and acknowledgement that although they’re separated they are still married and he has been unfaithful would have been top of his list.

Watching it seemed he was putting MM above his wife. The man who he “didn’t love” above the mother of his children and wife of 30+ years.

Thats what really got to me.

And anyone who thinks she staying for the “money and lifestyle” - no. Shes an intelligent, independent woman in her own right.

I couldn't get past the fact that he's trying to use the tragic death of Caroline flack as some sort of a shield.

He may have exerted some form of control/conditioning over her during all those years of marriage. She may need actual help to detach from him. It is highly unusual that nothing has spontaneously kicked in to make her want to pack up and leave.

benfoldsfivefan Stop trying to blame Schofield's wife! I doubt very much she agreed to be a beard. Wives don't need to cover for their husband's sexuality in this day and age. If I'd known my husband was cheating on me with other men and putting my secual health at risk while still having sex with me I'd have divorced him.

Schofield's wife could have taken him to the cleaners in a divorce at any time in the past 25 years. She probably didnlt 'for the sake of the children' and probably had no idea of what he was really up to, just as many wives with straight husbands don't know about their secret lives spent away working 12 hour days. She was living in the family home in Oxford while he spent the week away in his London flat.

I feel incredibly sorry for his wife and family who have just had all the uncles crap to deal with and now this. I would divorce him and run as fast as I could away from the lot of them.

Completely agree, this was what I was going to say but you put it better. He's long moved on from the deceit of his wife, and she (presumably) forgave him along time ago.

She is not his wife but one of his victims (a unique type). His daughters are also his victims. It is sinister how those three women are devoted to putting his dramas before their own lives. They all need to get help to understand how to break out of it.

I watched the interview too.

What I don’t understand is why - if this kid was messaging him on Twitter - he wouldn’t have said ‘Ok, you’re interested in coming in for work experience, let me pass your details onto my producer and he’ll be in touch?’

Or am I being dim?

Yes. Also however distasteful, the marriage point is private. The interview was not about that. It was not a court hearing, just a very lightweight interview about the This Morning aspects.

He’s not just decided in his 50s that he’s gay. He said he didn’t even love this kid, so it’s not the love of my life situation. Also, men who predate on much younger/vulnerable people don’t just start randomly in their 50s, it’s a pattern of behavior. I have absolutely no doubt at all that he’s been doing this for years. Chicken hawks are hardly a new thing in the gay male community. It’s not a term you hear much now, because it doesn’t evoke glittery rainbows, but there is and always have been twink chasing predatory older gay men, it’s very definitely a thing.

as for his wife, I can’t imagine she didn’t know. I hope she’s told him to shove it up his arse, and I hope she’s done financially very well out of him. He probably didn’t need a beard because he’s gay, he needed a beard to deflect from all his more questionable sexual activities. I feel sorry for the daughters, being used and Gaslit the way they are.

This is what I don't understand.
It's all been "unofficially" known for ages, what's changed?

He has very clearly been shagging men for decades and shut that question down quickly because he can't be seen to be lying again (but also knows there are probs a lot of people about to start crawling out of the woodwork to give their story).

I noticed he said (when asked if he'd had other gay flings or relationships) that wasn't what the interview was about. Which I took to mean yes there were others....which is obviously not a problem if they were consensual (and that if his wife was aware) but seemed like there might be more to come out.

Her confidence is probably damaged. Yeh she would have been ok financially , no real money worries, but I bet that decades of feeling undesirable, feeling unattractive as a woman has probably left her clinging to the marriage like it's a raft. Different circumstances, but abusive relationships can do that to you too. i''d love to hear her story. She's not obliged to share it i know, but my point is, change is hard. The amygdala senses danger but can't interpret it through a modern lens, it's just telling you 'hunker down''. When you don't feel safe/loved/secure, your amygdala is telling you not to take chances, not to venture out and bet on your own self and your own future. We're all afraid of change and never mORE afraid of change than when we're eroded and minimised and invalidated. So, i could have it all wrong, but i don't judge his wife for having stuck with him in the past. Now though, she is of an age where a lot of women her age are single. It should be easier now.

Yes this was the point I made earlier, why out of (no doubt) hundreds of Twitter follows/ work experience/ job /mentoring requests etc did he give this boy special treatment and give him a slot on the show and personal mentoring?! This is what convinces me that PS saw something he wanted from him from the start and that's why he gave him personal and special treatment. Frustrating the interviewer didn't pick him up on this.

I was actually thinking watching it all the way through, when are you going to mention your poor wife?

I'm intrigued to know when his wife found out he was gay? Did he come out to her years ago or was it only when rumours started circulating about PS & MM?

Yup, that turned my stomach too.

My thoughts too. Let's not forget how important both PS & HW thought they were back in September when they pushed in the queue for the Queen, they wasn't sorry about that either.

This completely.

I don’t suppose he was brandishing his ring to ward off gay lovers…..or maybe he did brandish his ring 🤔

I originally questioned whether they might be staying together because they might be Catholic 😂😂😂

I get all this but its not actually against the law, people do this all the time. people I'd rather not hang out with to be fair.
Losing an entire career and being sent off in disgrace is a massive big deal. If that happened to me I think I'd kill myself. I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

I think he probably couldn’t win. Had he centred his wife in his apology, lots of people would have been saying that the biggest apology was owed to the very young man who may have been groomed.

We have a manager here at work who sleeps with all the young women interns.
He's been doing it for years, he hasn't been sacked yet. I think there should be an across the board regulation on behaviour at work that applied to everybody not soley to the likes of Schofield.

I thought he ott concern for the young man was a carefully constructed damage limitation exercise. Because I expect that his biggest fear is the young man will speak out and he's groomed him not to do that.

Yes he was very keen to point out that he followed iirc 11,000 people on twitter.... but surely this wouldn't be the only person out of thousands who wanted work experience or to be on tv? And agree - why would he not give him the email address of even some admin person at itv.

He immediately ran to his mother and his wife for support, and he said his daughters are basically not letting him out of their sight.

All these women's lives are now revolving round him, all because he wanted to have sex with a very young man in secret.

Some prominent gay media figures are speaking out in his defence and attributing it to homophobia. That is the problem with PS mislabeling the accusations. Yes, he needs friends right now (and says that he has made a few new ones this week). However, what about the grooming which needs to be discussed?