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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you let your 4 year old wear a bare midriff top to nursery?

172 replies

Miya24 · 31/05/2023 23:08

Received a top and short set from a bag of hand me down clothes. It's aged 3-4. My daughter loves it, it's waterproof material so it's great for water play in the garden. Nursery is having a water play day tomorrow and my daughter is desperate to wear it. It sits right above the belly button and has cold shoulders as well.
Would you send your daughter to nursery in it or would it raise a few eyebrows? I'm thinking it may be more beach wear but I have no idea. I may be overthinking but I'd love some more opinions.

Would you let your 4 year old wear a bare midriff top to nursery?
OP posts:
fairywhale · 01/06/2023 07:04

NellyTimes · 01/06/2023 06:39

Would those who wouldn't ever let their 4 year old girls show their midriff (faint) also not let their 4 year old boys just wear trunks at the beach? Or is it just the girls you feel should cover up?

Pants or shors without a top on the beach is fine but not this grown woman style top

fairywhale · 01/06/2023 07:07

Sissynova · 01/06/2023 06:55

Why not though? Why do you think no one should do this?
I don’t see what the issue is at all?
I don’t view it as anything sexualised at all.

I don’t have a 4 year old but close, but she wears short rompers or short dresses. I don’t see what the problem with those are or what the leap to a short top is.

Short rompers and short dresses are normal children's clothing but this is adult, sexuslised style

sHREDDIES19 · 01/06/2023 07:08

Wowsers it’s just a top! It think it’s very cute but probably not ideal if the weather is very hot as the bare shoulders would be a burn risk. So for that reason only I’d go with covered shoulders. But otherwise it’s fine. My beautiful baby girl would have completely been the same and loved that at four. Just remember Mumsnet isn’t representative of the real world. There are far more snobs and prudes here that’s for sure!

Chlobo89 · 01/06/2023 07:12

It looks like a little tankini top, fine for the beach probably not for a day at nursery.

VladsPants · 01/06/2023 07:15

What on earth is sexualised about it? A four- year olds midriff and shoulders? Some really weird attitudes on this thread.

Poopgal · 01/06/2023 07:17

😂😂😂

yes I would send my child to water play in that.

lord almighty

nahwhale · 01/06/2023 07:17

Absolutely not that looks like it would be a right pain for suncream

MrsMikeDrop · 01/06/2023 07:19

VladsPants · 01/06/2023 07:15

What on earth is sexualised about it? A four- year olds midriff and shoulders? Some really weird attitudes on this thread.

Agree Hmm

WaltzingWaters · 01/06/2023 07:20

No. Would save it for beach or garden wear.

FlounderingFruitcake · 01/06/2023 07:21

It’s very obviously a bikini top. Which actually seems sensible for a water play day because obviously it’s waterproof but she can still wear normal bottoms with it, if it’s warm enough- it definitely isn’t here in London! I wouldn’t let her wear it on normal days though.

nahwhale · 01/06/2023 07:22

chortler · 01/06/2023 06:50

What exactly are people worried is going to happen if she wears it? 🤔

Horrific sunburn

liveforsummer · 01/06/2023 07:22

summerfinn · 31/05/2023 23:27

Why do some people dress young children like grown adults. I wouldn't even wear that let alone let a four year old girl wear it. Dress children in comfy colourful clothes. Not skinny jeans and a belly top🙈🙄

You wouldn't wear that because it's clearly for a small child with the frills and cartoon fruit 🙄. However I agree not great for nursery with the exposed shoulders and belt as they don't have time to repeatedly sun cream these areas and shoulders are liable to burn too

Simonjt · 01/06/2023 07:23

VladsPants · 01/06/2023 07:15

What on earth is sexualised about it? A four- year olds midriff and shoulders? Some really weird attitudes on this thread.

Yep, the top is fine, just make sure like with any top you put suncream on first. What isn’t fine is adults who look at a four year old and see her as a sexual being for wearing a top, they’re the ones that need changing, not the childs clothing.

SunshineAndFizz · 01/06/2023 07:24

Our nursery ask us to make sure kids wear tops that cover their shoulders when it's sunny.

nahwhale · 01/06/2023 07:24

Simonjt · 01/06/2023 07:23

Yep, the top is fine, just make sure like with any top you put suncream on first. What isn’t fine is adults who look at a four year old and see her as a sexual being for wearing a top, they’re the ones that need changing, not the childs clothing.

Yes and if you think there are people like that at your child's nursery then there are massive issues

WonderingWanda · 01/06/2023 07:24

Our nursery used to insist on sleeves rather than vest tops to reduce the risk of sunburn. I would say that top is similar. Also when you say waterproof is that not going to get a bit sweaty?

pigalow27 · 01/06/2023 07:25

NellyTimes · 01/06/2023 06:39

Would those who wouldn't ever let their 4 year old girls show their midriff (faint) also not let their 4 year old boys just wear trunks at the beach? Or is it just the girls you feel should cover up?

This exactly. The idea a 4 year olds shoulders are in any way sexualising is horrifying.

garlictwist · 01/06/2023 07:26

It's 11 degrees here today in Yorkshire so no, I think she'd freeze to death. But on a warmer day I would.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 01/06/2023 07:34

Sissynova · 01/06/2023 06:55

Why not though? Why do you think no one should do this?
I don’t see what the issue is at all?
I don’t view it as anything sexualised at all.

I don’t have a 4 year old but close, but she wears short rompers or short dresses. I don’t see what the problem with those are or what the leap to a short top is.

I dress mine comfortably and modestly. I wouldn't have worn something tacky like that at my own child's age so they won't be either. It looks ridiculous.

DontTouchMyMug · 01/06/2023 07:36

Yeah I would let her. Wouldn't be my choice but if she wanted to I would. It's not to my taste but hardly a sexy style. She's 4, let her have a bit of choice about things that matter to her.

I am super confused about a waterproof material top and shorts as I don't think I've ever seen anything like though.

It's been scorching here this week!

MRex · 01/06/2023 07:37

pigalow27 · 01/06/2023 07:25

This exactly. The idea a 4 year olds shoulders are in any way sexualising is horrifying.

Some of these comments are deliberately obtuse now. "Sexualised clothing" is not the same as describing a child as "sexy". If you choose to dress children in clothing styles originally designed to be sexy for adults, then at least don't feign surprise when others think it's horribly tacky.

chortler · 01/06/2023 07:37

Honestly talking about dressing a 4 year old "modestly" is nuts, you'll be suggesting petticoats to cover her ankles nexts.

Garrard · 01/06/2023 07:38

It would be going straight to the charity shop.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 01/06/2023 07:41

How it looks doesn't bother me but I agree with pp over sunburn. I prefer to put mine in a cool material long sleeve top. You could layer it over a plain long sleeve white top or dress but then would that be too warm?

SilverPeacock · 01/06/2023 07:43

chortler · 01/06/2023 07:37

Honestly talking about dressing a 4 year old "modestly" is nuts, you'll be suggesting petticoats to cover her ankles nexts.

This. Bloody hell I am finding this thread quite worrying. The only issue I can see with it is sunburn.

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