Hate being asked what I do

[EggDaisy]

AIBU to think this is a bit of a personal question and it's rude to ask?

"Where do you work?"
"What do you do?"
"What profession are you in?"

Etc.

I find it really invasive and wish people wouldn't ask! My situation is not straight forward so it takes a bit of explanation, and giving any level of information to a stranger who has just asked makes me feel uncomfortable.

Why is it anyone's buisness? I feel like they want to know where I "fit" - as in, am I skilled, roughly what that role would earn, what type of person am I; be honest, people judge you differently based on your job. You can be stereotyped so easily too.

Now I just reply "Oh, I do this and that."

This.

I think you’re overestimating how much headspace most people will actually devote to thinking about you. Most people are trying to make small talk and will have forgotten the answer within about 5 minutes - unless you say something strange and rude that sticks in their mind like ‘I do this and that’.

You’ll worry a lot less about what people think of you when you realise how infrequently they do.

"It's something I'd never ask, there are so many other things to converse about."

What sort of things on a first meeting?

It is weird, sad and slightly hilarious.

Telling people I am a firefighter ( who works from home apparently) is very strange. My moter lies about my work to my sister too. She is very ashamed.

This. A person's occupation is part of their public life. Its not a private thing, as by its nature its typically performed in the public arena. If I met someone who found it deeply intrusive it would actually make me more curious, as I'd wonder why they felt the need to be so secretive about such an everyday thing.

I've seen this episode of Frasier 🤨 You're a refuse collector, aren't you?

I'm a mortician usually ends the question

God I hate this question too. “What do you do so I can judge you” is what it really means.

I sometimes get pissed off and answer with a breezy “nothing”

That's a shame. I expected this, but to my surprise have had a few people recently praise me for it!

Haha this always comes to my mind too

I have always thought it was a rude question.
Asking someone what they do to seems very judgy to me. Some people need to categorise others, perhaps it gives them a sense of achievement? I don’t know.
If asked I always say I do nothing, I’m a nobody. It usually stops the conversation but after that point I don’t want to talk to them anyway.

This ^^
What is it about so many mumsnet posters who are either paranoid or are insulted every time someone asks them a normal typically small talk question?

And why do they only attract unpleasant/toxic people?

See, I’d be intrigued and would be asking all sorts

@EggDaisy just tell everyone you work for MI5 and can't talk about your work. Job done.

@fridaynight1 we can be friends 🤗

I love the spluttering. What what you can’t mean you just do nothing!?! Yes indeed. Nothing at all.

One question I would love to be asked! I have many complicated thoughts about the quality of their driving tuition.

You are not wrong. It's a weird thing the British have and it's sometimes intended to be a shorthand way of categorizing you according to class, income etc. And the problem is that then it's such a normal thing to ask that even people who don't intend to do that are asking it. Where I live (Europe) people never ask and I have some close friends who wouldn't know what I do. Life/the person is more important than their work, and I prefer it that way.

😂 yup.

I hate this question too and yes, people judge and categorise. I used to work as a cleaner, the anti social hours were convenient at the time, but I actually didn't mind the job, apart from realising how filthy the general public can be (and set my mind on single sex toilets only!). But the amount of comments, people are so rude..."But haven't you got a degree?", "Eww, I couldn't do that", "I tell my kids to work hard at school so they don't have to do jobs like that". Unbelievable. Was a bit shunned by the yummy, school gate, mummies too 😅

When I was a stay at home mum people seemed to respond better than they do to my new part time job. I think it’s based on the assumption that my DH can afford to support us so must be well paid whereas if I need a PT job then we must be on the bread line. Truth is I just got bored sat at home waiting for school to finish.

It’s standard small talk surely.
Theres only so far you can go talking about the weather.
You can of course feel uncomfortable being asked the question. You don’t have to answer.

@notsayingmuch 🤣 Yes, the leather seatbelts can be quite painful when pulled tight.....

I think it's really irritating especially when asked on holiday as I don't want to be thinking or talking about work. I do feel people are trying to rank you or see where they fit in...
My husband, when on holiday always makes up different professions for himself when asked to amuse himself.

😆😆

Just give a vague answer if you don't want to go into detail ... marketing , retail , education etc.

This ^^

Even being a spy can be covered with "something in Whitehall ..."