Hate being asked what I do

[EggDaisy]

AIBU to think this is a bit of a personal question and it's rude to ask?

"Where do you work?"
"What do you do?"
"What profession are you in?"

Etc.

I find it really invasive and wish people wouldn't ask! My situation is not straight forward so it takes a bit of explanation, and giving any level of information to a stranger who has just asked makes me feel uncomfortable.

Why is it anyone's buisness? I feel like they want to know where I "fit" - as in, am I skilled, roughly what that role would earn, what type of person am I; be honest, people judge you differently based on your job. You can be stereotyped so easily too.

Now I just reply "Oh, I do this and that."

I ask people all the time. Not to rank them- just making conversation.

I’m also interested in the stuff people do. Often leads to fascinating chats.

Met a grave digger once- one of the most interesting chats I’ve had with a stranger.

Having read through some previous posts gosh there are some precious people on here 😄

@Time4achangeagain pretty much what @TheFeistyFeminist does - data, spreadsheets, databases.

I suppose we all judge people by what they do tbf , despite people saying that they don't.
If I met someone who worked for the council at the local recycling centre compared to another who was the Head of a private school ( examples only here ) I would ( wrongly ) assume one was more intelligent than the other one , which would be wrong of me and wildly incorrect. Being old and wiser now , I've learnt that these stereotypes are just that , how we perceive people to be just by their jobs alone
My very good brickie that built my 'lean to ' was quick to point out that he had A levels and was thinking of Uni before deciding on construction, which has given him a very good trade / living over the years and he was very intelligent and interesting to talk to about all kinds of things
I think he was probably fed up with people assuming that this was all he could do. Which wasn't the case. Ditto the tiler who was clearly really clever, builders have to be good at maths and have a flair for design.
You do live and learn

YABU. It’s just shorthand for “what do you do all day” to explore whether you have anything in common, or whether you do something interesting that they’d like to learn more about. If you don’t want to be specific because it gives away too much about income or status, or your distasteful industry, there are plenty of vague answers available. “I work for an insurance company”. “I work in a hospital” “I’m a civil servant”. You can then follow up with “it’s SO boring, please don’t make me talk about it”. But “I do this and that” basically sounds like “I sign on, do a bit of low-level crime and occasionally my mate Dave bungs me twenty quid for taking some stuff to the tip”. It doesn’t position you as some kind of angel investor venture capitalist who has enough spare time to operate as a freelance hostage rescuer.

Apart from people close to you (who know you well anyway) why does anyone care what strangers, or people who don’t really figure in your life, think or assume about you or your job anyway? Why would a tradesman care if Ms Bloggs, whose toilet he once fixed, thinks he’s not high enough on the social ladder or whether he went to Uni or not🤷‍♀️

I work in a supermarket and die inside whenever I’m asked this question.

To me "This and that" can be read two ways.

One way is that it is mundane and not very interesting.

The other is that it is complex and difficult to explain. Or I don't want to explain.

Which may be a red rag to a bull if you are engaging someone nosey like me who may view it as an opportunity to learn something interesting rather than just discuss the price of fish.

If you want to head off the nosey git, lie and make it something relatively mundane. And like all lies, ones that are based in some way on the truth and that you actually know something about if challenged are the best ones.

Otherwise it could lead to some embarrassment.

Why though ? You shouldn't.
Retail is hard work , you really earn your money there and it should be respected !
We need people like you.

The vast majority of people don’t think like you though.

Because sometimes the light in their eyes dims when they realise you aren't one of 'their people'. It's clear your job is not 'good enough' for them. That is an awful feeling.

A friend brought his new ridiculously young girlfriend to dinner last night. First thing she said to me, post niceties was... "Skitt, what are your passions?" Wtf? It felt ridiculously invasive. Far rather have been asked about my job.

Because sometimes the light in their eyes dims when they realise you aren't one of 'their people'. It's clear your job is not 'good enough' for them. That is an awful feeling.

Yes, I've had that, though not due to my job. Sometimes due to having a Northern accent or not sending the kids to private school or not living at a posh address. It's their problem, not mine.

I've had the glazed look too. I think most people get this at least once in their lives.
It is hurtful , but it really is them and not you that's the problem. It's just hard being able to overcome the judgments sometimes. People do like to make others look small :(

I once convinced people at a social event that I was a mobile vajazzler. 😜

Crikey what sort of people are you mixing with? I’m just an ordinary working class person who has mixed with all sorts of people for work and I’ve never yet met someone who looked down their nose at me because I wasn’t one of their ‘type’. Or if they have I’ve been oblivious (ie not cared so haven’t registered it).

Neither have I @willWillSmithsmith.
I seriously think that for most of the posters who think this it is inside their head only, and just not true.

God I hate the over used word passion (off topic a bit but I saw a job ad today that said Are you passionate about administration). If only I could have left a comment.

My passions? Hmm, I mighty fucking bad tempered. Would that count do you think?

A passion for working ads..
A passion for earning enough money to be able to eat. Why are they never truthful

To me asking what someone does for a living is just small talk. There will inevitably be some elements of small talk you favour over others and you just have to learn to move the conversation on from the areas you don't like. Personally, I hate "so, what makes you tick?". Such a stupid question. I skate quickly on with that one.

If you are so against people making polite conversation with you make a job up. Say you work in your local newsagent or something.

I could tell them what makes me ticked off! 😁

I’m glad to say that’s a sentence I’ve never uttered in my life.

Yabu people are just making conversation usually they don't really care. Nobody has ever heard of my job so I usually have ti explain it

I've never ever been asked what makes me tick. My reply would be 'no idea' and that would be the end of that hopefully.