Hate being asked what I do

[EggDaisy]

AIBU to think this is a bit of a personal question and it's rude to ask?

"Where do you work?"
"What do you do?"
"What profession are you in?"

Etc.

I find it really invasive and wish people wouldn't ask! My situation is not straight forward so it takes a bit of explanation, and giving any level of information to a stranger who has just asked makes me feel uncomfortable.

Why is it anyone's buisness? I feel like they want to know where I "fit" - as in, am I skilled, roughly what that role would earn, what type of person am I; be honest, people judge you differently based on your job. You can be stereotyped so easily too.

Now I just reply "Oh, I do this and that."

Urgh, I hate this too. Because it's not a straightforward answer like I'm a Doctor, or a Teacher, or a Lawyer etc. I work in the NHS, but I'm not a clinician, or particularly a Manager. It's complicated and I get so bored trying to explain it.

Gosh some people get really hung up on small talk, like anyone really cares!

Just say I do abit of this and a bit of the other.

As a pp said earlier though, people just say 'yeah but what do you actually DOOOO?!'

I was asked what do I do a few years ago, and I said (for example) 'I work in finance,' and she said 'yeah but in what field?' I said 'ledger clerk,' and then they said 'but what for?' And 'what kind of ledger did you do?' And 'what bank,?' And 'what department?'

I would try and answer, and there would be one question after another. Got so annoying. Some people are just so nosey and intrusive and irritating, and won't shut up poking and prodding with their fucking questions! As has been said, it is (in some cases) so they can evaluate you, and decide if you are 'worthy.'

disclaimer I don't work in banking!

I used to know a chap that was quite high ranking in the NHS. When he went on holiday he would tell people he was a plumber 😂

Why?

If people didn't ask me this question, I wouldn't be able to promote the work of my team and generate new leads / business.
Don't care if people are trying to 'rank' me. Proud of what I do.
DH's job title / role sounds more exciting than it is.
Anyone could say "I manage 30 people" (I have a classroom of 30 kids).

Next we will be asked to wear badges showing what career we identify with so no one gets offended when someone asks.

Massively unreasonable. Most normal decent people would not care what you do, as long as you do work. My friends include senior management in companies, doctors, lawyers right across the scale to cleaners, bus drivers, supermarket workers, and I respect them all equally. I also respect retired people, those in voluntary work and those unfortunately unemployed but actively seeking work.

I think it’s pretty obvious why 😂 clearly he doesn’t want to talk ‘shop’ on holiday and plumbing although a great a lucrative career choice is not really in any way as interesting (to most) as being ‘high up’ in the NHS. Therefore a tiny conversation compared with a potentially very lengthy one where people will over share their opinions and frustrations from lengthy waiting lists to their own experiences of the NHS is a far more attractive option.

Have a banal answer- no one is interested in details. This and that sounds dodgy. I won't in healthcare, I'm a counsellor, etc. no one really cares about the nitty gritty, but being evasive juts makes you look like a bit of an arse.

Saying you do this and that sounds a bit shifty. I don't think people are necessarily judging, it's just conversation.
Can't you think of a very brief answer that covers it and then change the subject?

My last few jobs have been in areas that people will always have an 'opinion' on.

I have found that preparing a few answers that sound somewhat cooperative but have no substance is helpful and that almost everyone gives up after three questions

Eg

What do you do? Oh I work in an office

Where do you work? Name of City (not organisation)

But what is your job? I am in management/administration/operations

In the unlikely event of a fourth attempt either an MN tinkly laugh or an equally MN steely glaze tends to do the job

This is one of the reasons I got sick of dating apps as a heterosexual female. You can guarantee it's the second or third question and they're trying to get a guage on and rank you.
How financially secure/intelligent you are etc.
And if you're below themselves in terms of income, i.q and job status, then they'll continue chatting. Above, and it's all downhill from there.

My friend answered someone once with ' if I tell you , I'd have to kill you '
They quickly disappeared.

I don’t like being asked this as an opener at my exercise classes. I don’t mind small
talk but I’m not there to make friends and I don’t really want to share.

Though my job is interesting, and always has people wanting to know more so I say something generic like a teacher or a civil servant.

My best friend (a podiatrist) always does the same (her substitute job choice is receptionist) because she was sick of being asked to look at their feet or diagnose them.

So the men didn't want to pursue anything if the woman was more successful than them?

See, I rest my case... People are always gauging and assessing you.

Ewwww.

If someone replied "I do this and that" I'd think they were a drug dealer. Or a petty criminal like Del Boy 😬

^^this

I used to get asked what my husband did. Not me, ever. Now that gave me the rage.

Luckily I have a different social circle now.

Agree. It’s to gauge whether you’re PLU (people like us) or not.

Have some fun with it. Turn it around and ask them to guess what you do. They can ask questions and you can only answer yes or no. And (don’t tell them this) you can lie if you want. I once nearly persuaded someone that I was the quality tester in a condom factory. 😂

"What line of work are you in?"

"Psychotherapist. Mainly working with sexual dysfunction".

Tends to kill stone dead any further questioning.

😉

This is encouraging but it is very different to my experience where parents arrange themselves into groups that are determined by status. Work was a determining factor in the equation.