Hes taking a 45l hiking bag for hand luggage

[FriedBrainFood]

Were a family of 4, me, OH, DS 6, and LO baby.
Flying out tommrow I will have LOs changing bag with all his bits and bobs. DS will have his little backpack with spare change of clothes, teddy and colouring. OH usually takes a grey normal sized backpack where we put doucments, snacks and other bits as hand luggage. We've used the bag on other flights it's also wearable for both of us (even though he has this obsession of hanging everything off it.) We are also taking 2 hold luggage and stroller.

Earlier I told OH that we need to put something in the grey bag he said I'm taking my new bag, I asked which one he said it's in the other room, I went and had a look and it's a FUCKING 45L hiking bag with waist straps and just a monstrosity. I said we dont need such a big bag there barley enough seating room. Plus I will have baby in the baby carrier, so will struggle to carry other things. Especially If ASD DS6 has a meltdown and I have to carry him.

From the past few holidays Ive realised for us it's best not to have lots of hand luggage as we never get space in the overhead compartments despite how early we get to our seats, so we've had to put stuff under the seats. OH is also overweight and takes up a bit of extra room, he ends up squashing me most of the time, he always leaves his puffa coat on for the whole flight and just looks uncomfortable. He eventually takes it off but there never any space so he tries to shove it behind my seat for me to use as a cushion, which I dont want, as I'll be holding baby so less room anyway. I've tried to explain myself and the reasons but hes adamant hes going to take it.

I had sorted the bags on friday so everything was manageable but now last minute hes decided take that hideous hiking bag. Hes not packed a single thing, I've done everything, even packed his crap. I'm just fucking pissed off with this type of shit that he does. He always does random shit like this last minute. He doesnt even hike, he hates walking. He won't ever use that bag again. I'm just festering because i know exactly what will happen tomorrow because hes so predictable but as always it will end up being my fault.

My ex used to hang his 1l metal water bottle from his bag. So many incidents of whacking children/people/dogs with it but he would not stop.

I still don’t understand why I stayed with the selfish prick but that should have been a big red flag!

He overpacks, and after asking for weeks on end he still hadnt put anything in the case, so I just told him I'm picking out a few things for you and putting it in the case please check it's ok. Dont know if hes bothered to check it but I've only packed him 2 pairs of boxers 😏

That bag doesn't look that big at all.

I used to use a 40L rucksack for my hand luggage (I still would, but the zip of the pocket broke and also it developed a hole, so I had to replace and now I only have a 30L one). That's 5L less than his, but the 5L shouldn't be such a massive difference. The 40L fit fine beneath the seat in front (I never tried to put it into the lockers, I want things accessible during the flight) and I never had any trouble with it.

I don't see what the problem is. He packs it, he carries it, it's his responsibility.

Just don't engage. Put the stuff you heed in your bag and let him deal with his own shit. Also let him pack his own stuff. Don't let him palm his coat off on you either. He sounds like a massive man-child.

I've used a 50 litre Wenger bag as hand luggage for the last ten years and not once has it even been questioned by flight staff - ryanair, easyJet, BA and loads of others. As long as it's not absolutely jammed full, it will be fine.

Let us know how you get on! I hope they charge him for it - what’s the point of having hold luggage and filling a ruck sack that size?

PS Earlystartsmakemegrumpy stop quoting the whole OP a- pointless and annoying

This with Bells on.

I think that all you can do is let him get on with it and leave him to fall flat on his face when the airline hopefully reject it as cabin baggage at the gate. Enjoy him getting nice and flustered when told it will have to go in the hold.

Make sure all of the children's essentials are in your bag.

I still don't see why you are packing any of his stuff. I don't remember the last time I packed anything for my DH (probably never have). He packs his own. He does frequently leave it right up until the night before, and has then been known to do a rushed job, forgetting stuff. On a recent trip to Italy he forgot most of his pants and had to buy more when we got there.

I still absolutely refuse to be responsible for any packing other than my own though. Why should I be? It is 2023, not the 1950s.

Regarding your DH's ridiculous puffer jacket, make it a rule this time that if he takes it he keeps it with him. Don't let him put it on your seat or stuff it in behind you. Why does he need it anyway if (I am supposing) you are going somewhere warm? Surely a decent cardigan would be perfectly sufficient?

Don't check, or if you do, don't tell dickhead
& practice your best "I told you" face

My DH tends to overpack too. He packs for all eventualities, however unlikely, and seems to think that however much he stuffs into his case it will be weightless!! That said, he'll still often manage to forget something essential (like the pants).

He is the only one of us who has ever been over his baggage weight limit at the airport and has been extremely lucky not to get charged for it. His face is always an absolute picture when it shows up at bag drop.

The bag doesn't actually look that big. Maybe it's just the photo.

Please just leave him to it and worry about yourself and baby. Pack what you need in a bag you can carry along with the sling. Sounds like your older child is self sufficient with their things, or maybe just add snacks to their backpack. If they want to be carried your DH is going to have to do it, along with all his own crap.

I'd strongly consider changing seats so he's either on his own or you are separated with a child each.

Doesn't look too bad, but HE should at least check it meets requirements.

Please update us with your travelling dramas caused by him, because I have a sneaky feeling there will be a few....

Hope you have fun anyway.

That bag's fine with Jet2 as long as it squashes down a bit so the 60 cm goes down to less than 55 and the 26 goes to less than 25. Their carry on allowance is far more generous than Ryanair and Easyjet. They also usually have plenty of locker space as many people are on packages which includes hold luggage so most people only have a small carry on bag.

However, OP, your DH sounds like a selfish dickhead. Leave him to do his own packing, surely he can work out what he needs to take? He also needs to do his share of sorting out the DC and carrying their stuff instead of leaving it all to you.

And refuse to accept any of his shit in your seat space. Take the window seat with the 6 YO in the middle, let him sit in the aisle so he can spill out into that and get up easily to put things in the overhead locker.

I’m imagining a useless lump of a man in a puffer jacket, squashing the OP in her seat, and carrying a bag laden like Where’s Wally.

He sounds deeply, deeply irritating.

You don't have the automatic right to the space above your seat, no need to make a fuss, just put your bag elsewhere, I've seen so many people make this a thing and the cabin crew just roll their eyes and find a space further up or down the plane

No need to quote the OP @Earlystartsmakemegrumpy ...why do people do this?

OP why the heck are you packing for him? Just don't! Just refuse to do it, it isn't your responsibilty.

I hope you are seating yourself far away from him.

I’ve never packed for my dh.
However I always take too many clothes so dh packs for me. I put everything that I think I need on the bed. Dh packs half and I always have enough. 🙂
I didn’t ask him, he offered before I get pounced on.

Instead of your normal change bag take a small backpack, put baby change stuff in plus whatever hand luggage stuff you need. Leave him to fill his own bag and be left with no hand luggage when they make him check it into the hold

I don't know about the bag, but it sounds like you expect to be lumbered with the baby in the sling, changing bag, 6 yo with ASD and DH's bag at some point?!
He sounds completely useless. What does he actually bring in terms of support for your family?!

Still in bed atm. Can hear whacking and hammering downstairs so im dreading going down to see what shit hes up to now and what other unnecessary shit hes added. Need to be at the airport for 1 but I cant contain my festering bitch face.

I'll try to keep you all updated on The Chronicles of a dickhead.

• Stop packing for him
• Get a bum bag. Put your essentials in that. No hands and no carrying. Your essentials. Not his.
• Tell him to shove his coat where the sun doesn't shine.

Let his actions have consequences. He's being a child so he can learn like one.

Don't pack for him.
Leave him to do what he wants with his massive man bag.
Change seats so he has ds and you are on the other side of the aisle.
Hand baby and baby bag to him as he sits down.

we take a 45l backpack as hand luggage as we use it for the towels on trips to the pool. Never has a problem but I guess it will depend on how full it is

My cabin bag for Air Canada was 45L and within their size guidelines, I think that’s about max for hand luggage. Some ask for 35/40L to be able to fit under seats but airlines seem to have different requirements. That bag didn’t seem too excessive.