Hes taking a 45l hiking bag for hand luggage

[FriedBrainFood]

Were a family of 4, me, OH, DS 6, and LO baby.
Flying out tommrow I will have LOs changing bag with all his bits and bobs. DS will have his little backpack with spare change of clothes, teddy and colouring. OH usually takes a grey normal sized backpack where we put doucments, snacks and other bits as hand luggage. We've used the bag on other flights it's also wearable for both of us (even though he has this obsession of hanging everything off it.) We are also taking 2 hold luggage and stroller.

Earlier I told OH that we need to put something in the grey bag he said I'm taking my new bag, I asked which one he said it's in the other room, I went and had a look and it's a FUCKING 45L hiking bag with waist straps and just a monstrosity. I said we dont need such a big bag there barley enough seating room. Plus I will have baby in the baby carrier, so will struggle to carry other things. Especially If ASD DS6 has a meltdown and I have to carry him.

From the past few holidays Ive realised for us it's best not to have lots of hand luggage as we never get space in the overhead compartments despite how early we get to our seats, so we've had to put stuff under the seats. OH is also overweight and takes up a bit of extra room, he ends up squashing me most of the time, he always leaves his puffa coat on for the whole flight and just looks uncomfortable. He eventually takes it off but there never any space so he tries to shove it behind my seat for me to use as a cushion, which I dont want, as I'll be holding baby so less room anyway. I've tried to explain myself and the reasons but hes adamant hes going to take it.

I had sorted the bags on friday so everything was manageable but now last minute hes decided take that hideous hiking bag. Hes not packed a single thing, I've done everything, even packed his crap. I'm just fucking pissed off with this type of shit that he does. He always does random shit like this last minute. He doesnt even hike, he hates walking. He won't ever use that bag again. I'm just festering because i know exactly what will happen tomorrow because hes so predictable but as always it will end up being my fault.

I've no idea how him taking a rucksack prevents him doing his bit here? If the child who is 6 can't walk get some assistance from the airport they have wheelchairs, I have a nearly 6 year old and couldn't carry them any distance, they aren't even that heavy. I honestly don't get the issue with the rucksack, the whole point in one is it goes on your back and leaves your hands free!! I think op is a bit ott who packs weeks before a holiday?

It seems to me that OP has a very rigid and inflexible plan for how things should go, so if her DH steps even slightly out of that she over-reacts.

OP, you still haven't said why you ask your DH to pack weeks in advance?

The biggest issue here is that the airline may ask him to pay to check it in depending on size (the pic you posted it doesn't seem massive, but hard to tell)- that's a separate issue to him be available to parent and one I'm sure he can work out for himself if he's an adult man capable of fathering children.

The whole thing sounds like a right nightmare. All this stuff you have to cart around on flights and manage a baby and another two children (the 6 year old and the overgrown manchild). I couldn't be Darsed with that and would be looking for ways to enjoy a holiday without all that stress until the baby was old enough to walk and carry their own little rucksack.
I don't understand why you are trying to manage him into packing his own stuff weeks in advance. Don't pack for him. His problem if he shows up and has no clothes. They never learn if you keep doing stuff for them.
It's a pain with the huge rucksack but he would be carrying a rucksack anyway - makes little difference what size it is. He still has 2 hands free to carry over stuff and to deal with the 6 year old if there's a problem with him.
If you're one of the first on the flight (which should happen as you have young children with you) there will be more than enough room in the overhead lockers for your stuff. Don't know why that should be a problem - it normally only affects the people getting on last (which is why people rush to get on).
Don't let him put his puffa jacket behind you. If he tries, dump it on his lap. Just don't put up with anything like this.

Tbf to the OP I don't think the holiday would work if she was quite as relaxed as her dh.

I don’t think they’re as strict as their rep. I recently took an overhead carry on suitcase that I knew was about 2cm oversize, but I fly Ryanair about once a decade so wasn’t buying a new bag specially, and figured either I’d sneak it through or I would pay the charge with good grace and actually it was fine on both legs. And since you have to pay extra for overhead luggage now there was no issue getting space and the crew were great at pulling out the rucksacks that weren’t supposed to be there. I have a BA flight tomorrow and since they still allow everyone a suitcase for free I’m much more worried about that. Fingers crossed I can use the toddler to blag priority boarding!

That’s not a thing, you don’t own the overhead locker above your row

I've never packed DH's stuff (to my DM's amazement, she always packed for my dad) and he is fond of an oversized rucksack for hand luggage. I don't know what he puts in it. I just have a regular sized handbag these days but used to have a large bag when the kids were small. I'd definitely give DH some of the kids stuff to put in his bag though.

🫣

I am over invested n this thread.

This. Plus, I don't really like storing my clothes in a suitcase for weeks, or falling over the suitcase weeks in advance. It's pretty easy to pack clothes. I travel fairly frequently and know well in advance what I will take and make sure it's clean. But actually putting it in the case or bag is the work of minutes.

I'm guessing the banging downstairs was him attaching more clips to attach more things to - make sure you get a photo of his rucksack attachments OP - it's much more likely to be effective in stopping this behaviour once he sees what he actually looks like rather than what he feels he looks like.

That's 2 pairs more than I'd have packed for him!

You are a family of four....you and 3 children!

Me too 😂
I really want to know what the banging noise was.

You're talking about going on at him for weeks about packing, like he's the unreasonable one!

Sorry OP, a piece of wisdom from a minimalist traveler surrounded by family who packs as if they were going into an Alaskan expedition.

The less you take, the less you stress, the more you enjoy the trip. Leave your husband at home, believe me, it makes all the difference!

I want to know what all the banging was about?

I’m guessing DH has started an essential piece of DIY - something that has been left for months but now can’t wait until after the holiday.

What was all the banging?

Jet 2 allow 22kg hold baggage per person, so why don't you take 3 suitcases if your family take so much stuff that a hiking backpack is necessary? No one needs that much carry on baggage, unless they're trying to avoid checking any bags, which you're not.
We moved to taking one small rucksack for DC's stuff, and I take a small handbag for essential items - passports, money, etc years ago. We buy snacks at the airport. Much easier, and we're less likely to accidentally leave anything behind. DH doesn't take a bag, everything he needs is in his pockets, wallet, phone etc.

Absolutely this. Last time I tried packing a week in advance, I tripped over the suitcase on the bedroom floor and broke my toe!!
Then had to hobble around the airport in pain, never again 😂

There is an unmistakeable contempt for the DH that comes through in this post that makes me think the issue is much bigger than different ideas on packing. He is fat, he carries a bag that embarrasses OP, she is pretty pissed and it is eating at her. I wonder how MNers will take to a post with the same information but the sexes reversed.

I’m not sure I get the issue with the backpack.
It will be in his back regardless of size, if it’s too big to go under the seat on the plane then it will have to go in the overhead lockers. The cabin crew will find room for it or check it for free (assuming it is within the cabin bag size rules).
I have often let them check my small cabin case as I CBA to haul it around in the lockers. If he shoves his coat at you just tell him to piss off.

@FriedBrainFood the banging was him trying to fit more stuff in the rucksack and banging it on the floor to try and get stuff to settle down

Another woman being a martyr to her family. You don't come across as liking dh very much but how has this situation ever come about in the first place?
Packing his clothles ? Er no, he's a big boy and can pack his own stuff, if he hasn't got clean clothles so what? Wouldn't be my problem.