New partner (age 60) following gym models (age 20ish)

[susie25]

I really need some perspective on this.

I've just started dating a man (aged 60), I am almost 50. Its only been a couple of months but so far, things are going well. He is extremely kind, caring, intelligent and supportive and I find him very attractive. I think this has the potential to go the distance.

However, there is one issue I'm not comfortable with and I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable about this or not. Wanted to seek opinions before I broach it with him.

He follows several gym model types on instagram. These women are all of a very similar type- long blonde hair, very toned/muscular, all in their 20s, and their pics are classic gym pics, often in very skimpy work out clothes, often bikinis, and short, tight, revealing dresses. As far as I can tell, he is not interacting with these women, just following them and liking their photos. I know he is very into fitness and the gym but he doesnt follow any other gym type accounts (eg gym tips, workout advice or male body builder accounts). I have an instagram account but I havent posted anything yet as I'm not a massive fan of SM and just cant be arsed with it so no idea if this is typical or not.

Part of me feels like this is a bit gross- he's 60 following women in their 20s and it really puts me off. On the other hand, he clearly likes that aesthetic and is very much into the gym and that culture. But then I keep thinking why is he only following young women doing this?

AIBU?- please be brutally honest, I can take it and am willing to accept that I may be wrong or equally that this is just a bit weird/inappropriate. Thanks.

Gross. Just another sad, pervy man.

Creepy. Really creepy!

I have a christian man who is minister also and is following women like these on instragram. He is very good man though, very loving, very supportive of African orphanages and is single. From what I understand is , men are just men and do like pretty women and yes, some of these models are young.

Please, do not take something like that personally. Why he is not allowed to follow women on social media .....is there law for that and how does it mean he is perv? Make sure he does not watch porn, that is the bigger concern

You should be flattered someone who like sporty types likes you.

I wouldn't be too bothered by this personally. If he's a good partner and treats you with respect, that's the important thing.

lol, last thought: you are much younger than him. You are almost 50, so really you are very very young, 48 ....clearly you are not a woman from his age gap. If this disturbs you, you are losing this amazing man. If it flatters you and makes you realise he likes younger women, your choice. But to vilify a gorgeous caring man for couple of social media follows - this i find gross. I am sure there are thousands out there who will be happy to have him if you leave him.

you are losing this amazing man

😂 What ’amazing’ man? He’s just a plain old creepy dude, who went after woman over decade younger than himself.
That is not a quality man.

I am sure there are thousands out there who will be happy to have him

Doubtful.
Not anyone with any standards at least.

Have you talked to him about this "interest" of his?

I would find it a put-off, but I suppose it depends on whether his good points outweigh his bad.

Ewwww, no. Anyone who follows insta model type accounts is an instant no from me. I mean, at least have some fucking discretion if you're going to be an old perve.

What ’amazing’ man? He’s just a plain old creepy dude, who went after woman over decade younger than himself.*
That is not a quality man.

He may be a perv but thete is nothing wrong with a ten year age gap at the OP’s age.

in this case I would worry what goes on in the orphanages

Are you OK hun?

I wouldn't like this at all. Difficult. Ok, so he's 60... is he suddenly going to find gorgeous hot young things repulsive. No. I think we need to face up to the fact he's more likely to get off on a 20 year old than a 60 year old (harsh but true, visually).

There's a difference between recognising someone is attractive, toned, hot or whatever in passing...and following them to get more and more of an eyeful proactively.

That said, it shows a lack of self awareness to me as to how inappropriate it is for him to be publicly following women young enough to be his grandchildren.

Ick for me. Life's too short to have to worry about this. I think it's a bit entitled and grim, albeit totally normalised for men.

OP - up your you really.
i would find it a turn off - in the best possible scenario he fancies himself being younger than he is.
same category as older men needing to flirt with waitresses and think they are into them because they are being friendly.
but then, for me, the agr gap would be too much too )there is nothing wrong with an age gap in a relationship- that’s up to the couple (of consenting adults), I’m just saying it would be too much for me (I’m same age as you).

The gym is a total red herring.

It’s the same as him checking out page 3 (as was!) every day, or having a calendar of bikini girls. It’s ok to be ok with that. It’s ok to not be ok with that.

Im in to fitness and strength training. My Instagram is a mix of old, young, men, women, modest and bikini clad.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it. I know that sounds odd but its the age thing that bothers me. If he was following all ages of women who have great bodies, men too, I dont think I'd be as bothered. Its the fact that its only 20 year olds and there is a 40 year age gap. Its true that there are male celebs that I like too but I dont follow 20 year old men online in super tight shorts for example because it just feels a bit "icky"- my son is almost that age and it just feels a bit inappropriate.

Pervy and creepy.

You should be flattered someone who like sporty types likes you.

Lol. And no.

This for me. Shows lack of judgement and old fashioned attitude that women are just objects.

Please, do not take something like that personally. Why he is not allowed to follow women on social media .....is there law for that and how does it mean he is perv? Make sure he does not watch porn, that is the bigger concern

I'm not saying he isnt allowed. I'd never demand he stop- so far its just instagram. If thats what he's into and I decide I'm not ok with it then I'd just assume we werent compatible is all. Its only been a couple months so its not like this is a long established relationship.

Thats why I wanted opinions- to listen to both sides and help me sort out my feelings on it. I did ask for brutal honesty and I've got that so thanks to everyone for your replies so far- even the feisty ones! 😆

A lot if insecure women here, the main poster. Listen to your heart and get to know the man properly. I am sure many jealous old women here will want to see you single and miserable than having a gorgeous supportive and caring man. Good luck !!!

Best laugh I have had so far this year. Thanks @BeverlyHa for your insightful posts, love em!

I couldn't get remotely worked up about this if he was otherwise good but I'd take the piss out of him for it.

Well, he’s a dirty old perv. But whether it bothers you is entirely your choice.

I’d find it really off-putting.

I’m your age, I couldn’t get worked up about this. It falls into the so what category. However I don’t suffer jealousy or low self esteem. Christ on the myriad of folks I follow there is a male stripper from magic men, Will something, he’s gorgeous. Doesn’t mean I’d want to go there. I’d not even go to one of their shows if I was living down under. I am into the gym and do follow a lot of that type of person, but it’s pretty much all women who give advice.

Disagree