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Original poster

“Your kid is really annoying us” - soft play rant

262 replies

HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:05

Took my DC (4,2 & 20m) to soft play today.

I go in with my children and supervise. Oldest goes off and plays for a little bit in the “bigger” area but is within eyesight/earshot.
Comes into the baby area (designated 0-4 years) to play with his siblings.

a group of about 7 slightly older children come and play in the baby area… would say they ranged from about 5/6 to 9ish.

they are playing roughly - climbing on things they shouldn’t, throwing things around. All while their parents (5 of them) are on a table the other end of the room, chatting and eating a picnic, completely ignoring their kids. The only babies in the baby area are mine so just keep them away and kind of hope their parents will see in a second and address it.

My oldest is going to school in September so I’m trying not to smother… they want to play with these older children so I hover within earshot and tell DC not to do xyz. DC asks “can I play with you” and one of the older children happy and being quite sweet telling DC what game they are playing.

DC being quite chatty telling older child what they like doing - other children start saying “get lost/you’re so annoying/shut up/why are you here” and mocking my DC copying what they say etc..

in the end one of the girls in the group marches right up to me and says “you’re kid is really annoying us” right in front of DC. I was shocked and just said that this was the baby area and they can always play in the bit for older children if they don’t want to be near little ones

Now, with DC going to a big school in September I have been trying to explain that not everyone will want to play with you all the time… but at the same time, I think their parents should have at least had an eye/ear on them!? If I heard my child saying that I would have had a word with them

In the end my DC was so upset they just asked to leave so we did.

would love some thoughts, my DC honestly can be quite annoying but on this occasion I really don’t think they deserved to be spoken to like that. I do also appreciate that many older children won’t want to play with younger ones and would never force it

but I appreciate it’s something they might experience more at school. DC gets on fine at nursery and has some really good friendships

thoughts on how to discuss this with them? They are nearly 5 and quite good at understanding things so not worried about having a bit of a serious conversation

also WHY tf do people just ignore their kids at soft play? Does my head in

OP posts:
Original poster
HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:10

DC had just said “I don’t want to go to soft play any more” ☹️☹️☹️

OP posts:
Saucery · 29/05/2023 15:11

I would just go with those children were being very mean. If anyone is mean to you tell me/Dad/teacher etc

Don’t over explain it, your DS was doing nothing wrong, so you don’t have to go into details about he could or should have handled it. The other dc were horrible. Sometimes you meet horrible people, tell your parents or a trusted adult is all he needs to know at his age.

OhwhyOY · 29/05/2023 15:16

Awww this is so sad. I've had endless rows with crap parents letting their older children run riot in the baby area at soft play. My 2 yo has been pushed, hit, and dragged around by older children whose parents couldn't care less, even when directly told what had happened. My DC loves soft play but much like yours has asked to go after an unpleasant incident and said she doesn't want to go any more. I think you've said all the right things to your DC, all you can do is be honest that some kids/people aren't very nice and it's not a reflection on him, just a reflection on them.

Octonaut4Life · 29/05/2023 15:19

Ugh parents who ignore their kids at soft play are the worse. Only recently was with my DC at a soft play for under 4s where a bunch of much bigger kids (probably 6 - 9) started being really mean to them, calling them names, getting up in their face and goading them etc etc. No reaction whatsoever from the parents sat staring at their phone. No reason to beat about the bush, just be honest with your kid that sometimes other children aren't kind and that's why it's important to always think about other people's feelings.

chaosmaker · 29/05/2023 15:25

I used to work in soft play and parents hardly ever watched their kids. They seem to think it's a chance to gossip and ignore them. I would have complained to the staff in that situation if you didn't want to have a go at their parents.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 29/05/2023 15:27

YANBU. If the older children were so annoyed by your DC then the solution was for them to go back into the older children's section where your DC wasn't allowed to go. They want to play in the young child section, guess what? they have to deal with young children, which I would have told them in polite yet terse terms.

The problem is that children get to an age where they can play safely on their own, but they aren't old enough to always play nicely on their own.

I remember a bunch of 9-10 year olds running around a movie theatre during the film, standing in the middle of an aisle and talking loudly. When 'Where are your parents?' just got me blank looks I firmly told them 'Either you sit down and be quiet or I will get someone to remove you'. They did sit down too. Perfectly nice children, just didn't realize that rules when their parents are around apply when their parents aren't around.

Original poster
HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:30

chaosmaker · 29/05/2023 15:25

I used to work in soft play and parents hardly ever watched their kids. They seem to think it's a chance to gossip and ignore them. I would have complained to the staff in that situation if you didn't want to have a go at their parents.

I kind of wish I had now.

I feel a bit OTT being so upset for DC & I know other children being unpleasant is something DC will have to navigate as they grow

just really gutted for them that it’s started already, and a bit shocked at the brazen-ness of miss “annoying”

OP posts:
Babsexxx · 29/05/2023 15:30

And this is why I avoid soft play like the plague……

Original poster
HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:31

Also not naive to the fact that this could easily be my child when they are older… which is why you keep an ear on them!

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 29/05/2023 15:34

Just tell your child that some people are nasty and have no manners so ignore them .

MoonlightLily · 29/05/2023 15:35

I don't think they are wrong i think its fine for kids to not want to play with kids they don't know. Mine are autistic and don't like ramdon children trying to play with them.

Wildflowersinthemeadow · 29/05/2023 15:36

Parents absolutely should be supervising their children, but equally, they can’t be in two places at once if they have more than one child. Soft play is a bit Lord of the Flies, especially at holidays and weekends!

PonkyPonky · 29/05/2023 15:36

This is the worst part of parenting… when your kid finds out that other kids can be all kinds of horrible. I have explained to my son that ‘there are people out there that don’t know how to be kind, it’s not your job to worry about that. It’s only your job to make sure you’re not one of them’. It seems to be working as I’ve not heard a bad word said about him yet and he’s made lots of friends during his first year at school. He is still highly offended by the 2 or 3 bad eggs in his class but seems to understand it’s not his problem and just stays away from them.

saltandpepper86 · 29/05/2023 15:37

My eldest DS once got punched in rhe face by another child at soft play, just because he asked some rough kid to be careful near his little brother. Came running out with his nose pouring with blood. I thought my heart was going to break for my poor sweet boy. YANBU or being OTT for this hurting your feelings so much.

FairAcre · 29/05/2023 15:37

You should have said ‘well I find you very annoying.’

Original poster
HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:40

MoonlightLily · 29/05/2023 15:35

I don't think they are wrong i think its fine for kids to not want to play with kids they don't know. Mine are autistic and don't like ramdon children trying to play with them.

Which I don’t disagree with, I did say I know not everyone will want to play with DC and that’s fine. I’d never force mine to play with anyone they didn’t want to if it was the other way around.

I just think that their parents should have kept an ear out for them because if it was mine I’d be telling them not to be so rude!

And they didn’t even need to be in the baby area

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 29/05/2023 15:41

Personally I would have told them to knave the baby area as soon as they came in.

However when yours is older they will tell a chatty younger kid hanging around them that they are being annoying if they are. For that part I would say to your oldest not everyone wants to play all the time especially with people they don't know.

Original poster
HolaPedro · 29/05/2023 15:42

@PonkyPonky there are people out there that don’t know how to be kind, it’s not your job to worry about that. It’s only your job to make sure you’re not one of them’.

I absolutely love this - will be stealing this from you!

OP posts:
ToK1 · 29/05/2023 15:42

The whole point of softplay is to ignore your kids

Independent play and being able to navigate social situations without parental supervision is essential

Above toddler age I never supervised mine.

They weren't allowed in the baby bit though and weren't rude or cheeky to adults

chaosmaker · 29/05/2023 15:42

MoonlightLily · 29/05/2023 15:35

I don't think they are wrong i think its fine for kids to not want to play with kids they don't know. Mine are autistic and don't like ramdon children trying to play with them.

Of course they were wrong. They were in the area for babies and younger children!

peacelemon · 29/05/2023 15:43

Saucery · 29/05/2023 15:11

I would just go with those children were being very mean. If anyone is mean to you tell me/Dad/teacher etc

Don’t over explain it, your DS was doing nothing wrong, so you don’t have to go into details about he could or should have handled it. The other dc were horrible. Sometimes you meet horrible people, tell your parents or a trusted adult is all he needs to know at his age.

Yeah this.

Motherhubbardscupboard · 29/05/2023 15:45

As above I'd have told them they were annoying me being in the baby area! What is lovely about your age children OP is that they will form a tight little gang soon. I had very similar age gaps and they looked out for each other at soft play and I bet once they are at school your eldest will become more confident and will enjoy being the big brother/sister. And as a group older children will be less likely to mess with them. Agree soft play can be rough though when parents aren't supervising.

Irritatedcashier · 29/05/2023 15:46

You need to be gobbier.
If have stood up, and shouted to the room "excuse me, who's kids are these? This area is for under 4s and they're playing roughly"

StampOnTheGround · 29/05/2023 15:47

The fact they were in the baby area bothers me the most, nothing annoys me more than older kids being boisterous in the baby area and their parents nowhere in sight!

Timeturnerplease · 29/05/2023 15:48

You need to be firm with the children next time OP. A calm but steely ‘This area is for under 4s, you need to go to the main area, thank you’ should do the trick. Saying thank you makes it clear that you expect them to follow the instruction. Most children will back down in the face of perceived authority. Channel your inner teacher.

I don’t go in with our DDs because DD1 is 4 and DD2 is almost 2 but very independent and robust. However, accompanying friends and I sit facing the play frame, chatting but with our eyes on the children. In the grand scheme of things you learn as a parent, it’s not difficult at all to chat and keep an eye on your own offspring.

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