Should I have paid to get friends car cleaned?

[fantaorangeee]

Ok, so I don't personally think this was a big deal but that might be because I don't drive and my partner has an older car just to ferry the kids around. Interested to hear other people's thoughts nonetheless.

I made plans with a close friend last night to stay over at her house and have a night in. I went for a walk along the beach/dip in the sea beforehand and she picked me up afterwards as it was only down the road from where she lives. I jumped in the car and without thinking, I put my blanket/towel/bag on the back seats of the car. It's not a new car but it's new to her as she bought it around 3 weeks ago I think. It is quite an expensive car and has clearly been well looked after so I felt awful, as all my belongings were covered in sand. I hadn't realised what I'd done until I pulled everything out and the seats/floor were covered in the stuff.

I did apologise and offered to clean up but she said it was fine, although it clearly wasn't as when I came out of the shower she was outside cleaning the car. This was at 10pm. I told her I would have done it but she said no and told me she wouldn't be long. She must have been out there for around 20 minutes. She came in and said she'd have to take the car to be cleaned as it had all got into the seams of the seats and she couldn't get to it with a cloth. In all fairness she does live in a flat and has to park down the road so can't exactly get the hoover out. I told her I'd help her today but again she said no. She has suffered with ocd and anxiety since a young age and I noticed last night that she was extremely agitated, restless etc, presumably because of the car. She's like this with her house too.

She barely spoke a word to me last night and this morning was up walking around the house really early. I woke up around 9am and straight away she was asking me what time I wanted to be dropped off at home. I think she was rushing me to get out so she could take the car to be cleaned. Again, I apologised and offered to help clean up but she said it would need to be professionally valeted. I haven't heard from her since and it all feels very awkward. I spoke with my partner about it and he said maybe I should have offered to pay for it to be cleaned but I'm not working at the moment and I presume it would have cost around £40-£50 to be cleaned (it's quite a big car).

I understand it must have been frustrating for her and I'm usually a very clean, tidy person but it was an accident and I did apologise and offered to clean it up. Surely I don't deserve the silent treatment over this? And would you fall out with a friend over something like this?

AIBU?

Glitter is the same. I personally can see it. We've been to the beach many times, and the kids have also worn glittery dresses. The pro valeters use a vibrating tool along with a professional vac to remove the tiny grains of sand that stick to the fibers.
I like to keep my vehicle in showroom condition most of the time I find the garage vacs useful for larger debris.

@MidnightMeltdown

one could argue that Op behaved like a four year old by managing to cover her mates car in sand

@Sigmama

probably because they cost a lot of money

If you RTFT, someone gave an excellent & humane explanation of the OP's friend's behaviour. It makes sense, if you have the empathy to understand the world from someone else's point of view.

Exactly. It's not hard, is it?😁

Yes, the meaning was obvious, & @TallerThanAverage seems to have understood it just fine. It's still not funny, though.

It's making fun of someone (OP's hopefully ex-friend) who has mental health issues, targetting those specific issues in relation to a story in which this person has been massively triggered.

I beg to differ, I thought it was hilarious. But then again no one had told me that you can’t mention glitter in case someone somewhere will read page after page about sand in a car which exacerbates their ocd only to continue reading more pages until they find one of many humorous comments by PPers and is triggered even more despite there not being any actual glitter.
Now given the choice between sand or glitter in my car to clean up I’d pick sand every time so just maybe the glitter might make the owner think that sand isn’t so bad after all.

@TallerThanAverage My mistake: when I put your username I meant to put the name of the person you were being rude to, @fguuh .

Just to be clear, when I wrote...

It's making fun of someone (OP's hopefully ex-friend) who has mental health issues, targetting those specific issues in relation to a story in which this person has been massively triggered.

... that paragraph refers to the OP's friend & to nobody else.

Rude?

Luckysantaneglo, my house is expensive, I would not give a fig about sand, I have a vacuum cleaner

It has nothing to do with a lack of empathy, it's literally just what happens in internet conversations, people start being ridiculous, others respond.