not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Did your parents never teach you about boundaries or waiting your turn, you inappropriate space invader, sidling up to strangers on their tables, so you can eat right next to them, in their space.

If you want to quote me then get it right

I was paraphrasing but ok, you said:

Oh dear, seems that I was being a bit unreasonable.

Is that MASSIVELY different from what I put? ('oh dear maybe I was unreasonable')

In fact, you were more definitive! ('Seems' instead of 'maybe') 😂

It's so odd how you started writing quite pleasant posts & have got increasingly aggressive.

🥱

you inappropriate space invader

You are amusingly bonkers. 😀

(Tho it's poor MN etiquette to deliberately goad posters. Thought you'd like that reference to etiquette!)

A private conversation with her dog?

I regularly eat out alone and if I had been in that situation I would have proactively offered the seats, knowing that I had plenty of space for myself. Most people are very grateful when you approach them rather than waiting to be asked. If I didn’t want to share then I wouldn’t go somewhere where it would be likely that this would be the outcome.

I’ve also had people ask me if they can keep an eye on their belongings while they go to the bar/toilet because they are on their own and don’t want to lose their seat or if they can use a power socket that’s closest to my table. A bit of kindness makes the world go around.

A private conversation with her dog?

This made me laugh! 😂

I think sharing tables was very much the in-thing, bonus points if the table was mob-connected or had previously been photographed in a compromising position with a Russian cultural attache.

In the York Bar, too.

Made me giggle and thought it might take a bit of ‘sizzle’ out of this epic thread! 😁

I might pop in for lunch tomorrow….will take some disinfectant wipes for the table I think. 😄

It is basic social etiquette, if you're nice you'll ask first. It's rude to take up a big table if there is only one or two of you, if you don't want to share wait for a smaller table. It's an unwritten rule that always happens. Yet another thread highlighting socially incompetent people 🤦‍♀️

Exactly because you're a normal human being!! 😀

I never get attitudes like yours Earrings. The thread is full of people being quite nasty to OP, and yet if she so much as says a word in her defence, you accuse her of being aggressive.

You do realise that there’s no rule that anyone who posts a thread in AIBU has to be servile, right?

Are you really sure it's not common, or at least, the usual? One couple offered to share with you and another asked if they could sit at the end of your table. This suggests it's not unusual.

What changed? Why did you switch from realising you were probably unreasonable to insisting you were not?

Was it the rudeness and aggression of the responders?

If so, can anyone else see the unproductive result of piling on?

How do all these people who think its inappropriately invading space cope doing other things like going to the cinema or theatre or using public transport where..gasp...you have to sit next to someone for a fair amount of time. Or how do you even walk anywhere when you have to share the pavement with other people or navigate through crowds of people 🤔 ph the horror of being in close proximity to other ppl!

Its a 6 person picnic table, the table isn't a tiny 2 person bistro table. There is alot of space!! Noone is forcing anyone to sit next to them u less it was 4 people and then one person would be right next to op.

And its a cafe so its not exactly a dinner type of restaurant is it so in a cafe free for all sit where there are seats.

If you cant cope with two people at one end and you at the other than sorry but your just a selfish twat.

Well so can everyone else who was already at the cafe seated and eating or drinking...they all could of stayed at home and made something 🙄

At least you are consistent. Joining at someone else's table and than defending it for yourself would be a bit strange, but waiting for your own and using it yourself.

It really depends on the situation, but I don't see why a single person would have to share if couples at the other tables of the same size don't.

If it was very busy place where majority of the tables were shared, you would be unreasonable.

And yes, it is funny how many people can't understand that many places prefer guests to have a table before placing the order and try to turn the organisation issue into moral one.

That made me laugh too @GwinCoch ?

😁And to be fair… we’ve yet to hear the dog’s side of things! 🐶

Mumsnet really is batshit sometimes!!! YWDNBU!!!
Busy or not it's not rude to sit down at the first available table that you have waited 20 minutes to become free. How many the table seats is irrelevant as presumably all the other tables were the same size! So she couldn't get a smaller one!
Why should single people be expected to share simply because they are on their own
If the cafe don't want single people occupying a table for six then they should have tables that seat a smaller number of clients

She's not unreasonable to sit at the table, of course not. Don't be daft. She is unreasonable not to expect someone to also share it if the cafe is busy. I would expect to share it too no matter how many people I'm sitting with. In fact often if I'm with one other person I might ask a table if they don't mind if we sit at it if there are spare seats. It's a common courtesy and occurs all the time. It's a table of six, plenty of space not like someone asking to share the chair ffs. Mumsnet seems to be filled with people who have zero social skills or any consideration for other people.

If they don’t, maybe they should get some smaller tables then?

I think you'll find from a functional perspective they've been specifically designed that way to have a mix, it's just common sense 😐

@EarringsandLipstick isnt that the point of posting a thread.
To get peoples opinion and then review your thoughts based on those.