not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Well if nothing else OP, you’ve inadvertently started a new trend for competitive table-sharing! Wonder what the record will be? Someone will be along soon to say they once shared a picnic table with a family of 25 and didn’t mind being perched on the end because it’s ‘kind’.

As you were OP. You’re not unreasonable.

Thanks. I wonder whether those people who are saying they would have ignored me and sat down at my table anyway are the same ones who say that people are entitled to do what they want in their own gardens and don’t give their neighbours any consideration over the noise they make. I really don’t understand why anyone would sit at a table when the occupant has specifically asked them not to.

I don't think that you were being unreasonable in the slightest. Top marks for assertive behaviour! You wanted to sit alone and you queued to sit alone. I once had lunch at an empty table and halfway through my peaceful time the waiter sat a couple at it! I was really angry and wish I'd said something. Good for you TBH.

Well, @ShirleyEyeRosebud , you've made yourself very clear. You want a table to yourself. Fine. I just don't know why you started an AIBU thread when you're convinced you're not.

Very rude and unreasonable if it was a table for 6, there was you and only one of her.

2 people couldn’t share 3 seats each?

Maireas
Maybe should've posted whole pic for details.

Thanks. I wonder whether those people who are saying they would have ignored me and sat down at my table anyway are the same ones who say that people are entitled to do what they want in their own gardens and don’t give their neighbours any consideration over the noise they make

Nope. I'm a very quiet neighbour and actually give a shit about others unlike people who want to treat a cafe as their own private idyll. That sort of I own the space around me attitude seems to be more your bag. Why should the cafe lose business and people have to go elsewhere or stand around because you're too entitled and precious to share a public space with the public?

Ridiculous comment. I didn’t decide to wait for twenty minutes. I was waiting for a table and that happened to take twenty minutes. No one else was waiting either before or after me in the time I was there. The couple who asked to share my table found another table straight free that.

If you read the posts, you would see that the cafe didn’t lose any business because of me.

@Museya15

how rude are you?!

It's a plastic one, not those wooden pub and cafe ones. Also "seats 6" is a somewhat generous claim! No matter. The OP doesn't like sharing, doesn't want to, isn't going to, so that's all academic. She ain't budging on that.

If you read the posts, you would see that the cafe didn’t lose any business because of me.

No not this time conveniently but that's what you and the other entitled brigade's attitude can and will do. Personally if I have a local favourite cafe I'd rather help it to stay in business.

Thanks, OP

you have made me decide that if I ever encounter a table hugger like you, I’ll just say “oh dear, what a pity” and sit down.

public seats ina public place - fair game for all customers. Rude and anti social to take up 6 seats for 1 person

Everyone seems to be very bothered about the cafe staying afloat. But the cafe aren’t enforcing table sharing and surely they would if it was so crucial to their survival.

how rude are you?!

Not as rude as the OP. It's a public space. If it's crowded then they have just as much right to sit there as the OP does. She gets a seat. She's not entitled to the whole six seater table. I understand preferring to sit alone, I certainly do, but it's just that, a preference. It isn't the job of others to facilitate it by going elsewhere or waiting around just because she can't be arsed to share a public place with the public.

Exactly, it seems as though the more I eat out the more I am putting those businesses at risk. Bonkers.

Everyone seems to be very bothered about the cafe staying afloat. But the cafe aren’t enforcing table sharing and surely they would if it was so crucial to their survival.

Perhaps they expect adults to behave like adults and arrange themselves and offer to share. It isn't the school canteen.

Me neither!

for what it’s worth as a single person I’m fine sharing a table for 6, there’s 2 free seats between you so you’re not sitting together. It’s not as if I’m having a private conversation out loud with myself

Except it does sound very much like a school canteen if you’re having to sit in a group of people you haven’t chosen to.

Beacause you don't own or control the table. It is for customer use and anyone can sit there.

I wouldn't have said no but my face would have registered dismay in case they were noisy or sat too close.

It's one of those perils with café benches.

Exactly. If there are only six seat benches then it's just common sense that two couples, or a single and a group of two or three would share a table when it's busy. No-one has to sit next to a stranger as there are still spare seats, it's the same as if there were a couple of smaller tables without much space between them.

I really don’t understand why anyone would sit at a table when the occupant has specifically asked them not to

because it is a polite social convention to ask if anyone else is sitting there - and to then sit down.

the reasoning being that you do not have the right to deny anyone else a seat that is not occupied just because you prefer it that way. Because that is rude and selfish to try to impose your will to the detriment of others, ie by denying them a seat hen they need one to sit down and eat just because you want a table for 6 all to yourself.

This is like refusing to let someone sit next to you on the train. Nobody would choose to have a stranger there but it's very selfish to refuse when someone else needs a seat.

A table for 6 is fine to share with others. You don't need to talk to them or interact with them in any way, they're not wanting your company, you just let them sit at the other end and mind your own business.

I really don’t understand why anyone would sit at a table when the occupant has specifically asked them not to

I would be asking in case they were expecting more of their party to join them. So more 'are these seats taken?' than 'do I have your permission to sit down?'.