not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

The vote is 50/50

Oh come on OP don't pretend this is accurate. You know full well people voted without the full picture and many have said so in the thread. Are you just ignoring that fact because it suits?

Maybe it does depend on location because it isn’t common place to ask to share tables where I live (coastal east anglia) and certainly not the done thing to sit on a table occupied by other people even if has the only free seats in the place.

Someone had already offered you a seat though so it is normal for at least some people in your area?

One a slightly tangent, I am tired of being treated like a 2nd class citizen for visiting restaurants or cafes as a single person. I've been given shitty places to sit before because the staff clearly don't think you are worth impressing.

I think they picked you for a reason OP - they didn't want to ask a couple because they thought a pair would be more likely to object rather than oblige, as they have each other for support, whereas a single person has no one. They also didn't want to be in such close proximity to another couple's conversation......but it was fine to envelope you with theirs though....as why you would you object? You're just there being silent and single!

I wouldn't mind a couple being sat next to me maybe, but no more than that. I've had the misfortune of being a single person sat by the cafe staff on the very end of a large table big enough to sit 8 people, then 6 people come and join me. I felt surrounded. You are so close to their conversation that you feel it's not longer your space and unlike a normal interaction, you feel you can't be part of their conversation if you wanted either as that would not be socially acceptable or desirable for most people.

Indeed.

Very poor behaviour by the OP.

I think they picked you for a reason OP

Yes, probably because she was 1 person sitting at a picnic table for 6 in a busy cafe.

Couples should have to share too though, I agree. I regularly eat out alone and I can't relate to the poor treatment personally but I'm sorry that you've had such bad experiences.

Thanks. It seems an obvious question.
In such a busy cafe I'd have been tempted to smile politely, sympathise and then sit at the other end of the table!

You weren't being a bit unreasonable. You were being completely unreasonable.

If cafe were busy there was space at your table frankly I’d have just sat down
I wouldn’t have asked your permission either, I’d acknowledge you and promptly sit down

I don’t think YWBU especially as it seems available tables were coming up quite regularly. They found a table for them, no harm done.

FWIW I wouldn’t have asked to sit next to someone on their own no matter how big their table was because I’d understand they might be alone since they want to be left alone.

This exactly. I would have taken one of the 5 spare seats regardless of the OP trying to bag them.

I’ve never shared, ask to share, or been asked to share a table at a cafe! I also wouldn’t particularly want to.
So YANBU

Same here. I'd have asked if the seat were taken but only for confirmation nobody was going to be sitting on it. I certainly wouldn't ask for permission.

I'm often on my own in cafés or restaurants - it wouldn't occur to me to hog a table for 6.

Even an outside picnic bench for six?

Many would say YABU and if it's a six person table I get that makes it trickier. But I hate sharing my space with strangers; you either have to make awkward conversation or awkwardly ignore each other. I don't think you were being unreasonable to want personal space.

Seriously do you not get out much? Because otherwise I can't see how that can possibly be the case.

Literally never been asked, and wouldn’t ask if I was in that situation.

Now that would have been very rude and selfish. I certainly wouldn’t do that and I don’t understand why anyone would knowingly disturb someone else’s meal when they are aware that they would prefer you not to. Why wouldn’t you just wait for a table to become free?

Oh fgs - no - you don't need to do either of those things. At most - smile or nod "lovely weather" and carry on.

I live near a national park. Those picnic tables are very common in the outside spaces and people usually share.

I actually go out quite a lot to cafes, pubs, National Trust etc

I have people ask if a chair was taken and then they can take that chair. But never had someone ask to share a table or a picnic bench.

Maybe it’s my German Shepherd putting people off… 😂

Now that would have been very rude and selfish.

And refusing to share a table for 6 isn't?

Are you for real? You thinking hogging a table for 6 is ok but sitting down at the empty spaces is rude?

I wouldn't have asked your "permission" OP. I would have asked if the spare seats were taken (you might have had 5 friends with you queuing or at the loo). As they weren't taken I certainly wouldn't hang around until you (and your 5 imaginary friends) had gone.

Me neither, hence this thread. I’m glad I don’t live in an area where it is common.

They're very common in the outdoor areas of galleries and museums too.