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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really unprofessional (music tutor)

132 replies

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:22

DS had an online music lesson booked yesterday at 4:30. We transfer the money during the lesson. Tutor didn’t ‘show up’. Then got a text at 5:10 ‘really sorry I got home from work and fell asleep 😁🙈 - can you do 5.30?’

DH and DS find this funny but I find it totally unprofessional! AIBU?

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 27/05/2023 11:44

It's unprofessional to not turn up. I don't think it's unprofessional to 'fess up' and offer a solution.
Would you prefer they tell you a lie about the awful traffic jam they're stuck in?
I think I'd like them more for their honesty.

lanthanum · 27/05/2023 11:45

Then find another teacher, if you think she doesn't give you a high enough priority; someone whose first job is private tuition, rather than someone who fits a bit in around their other work.
On the other hand, if this is the only problem you've had, stick with her, with the knowledge that she might, in return, be flexible if you have a problem one week.

If she's a classroom teacher, it's the end of the half-term and I quite understand the inadevertent falling asleep.

MsSquiz · 27/05/2023 11:45

She apologised, was honest and offered you another slot if it was convenient for you?
Maybe she's unwell, maybe she's exhausted, maybe she wasn't expecting to fall asleep... but the first thing she did l was apologise. What more do you want from her?!

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 27/05/2023 11:46

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:40

I feel that she thinks her time is more valuable than ours. She’s always got ‘such a busy schedule’ with rehearsals, gigs and school teaching it’s like we don’t matter

Over a one off incident?

My dds drum teacher is busy and we change to accommodate his schedule sometimes, but he's also done it for us. I definitely don't think he feels like his time is more valuable than ours.

Sounds like you don't like her in general, but now you feel like you have a justified reason.

Shoutinglagerlagerlager · 27/05/2023 11:47

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:28

We’ve been using this tutor for several months, she has come highly recommended and overall we are happy, just find this response out of order.

You find it “out of order” that she apparently told the truth? Really?!

honeylulu · 27/05/2023 11:48

If she's not habitually unreliable (you say she's been giving lessons to your child for several months) then it sounds like a one off, accept it, reschedule as suggested and forget it.

She could have made up a more "acceptable" excuse but her candour actually seems like a good thing.

I doubt very much she deliberately went for a nap. I very rarely sleep I the day ( I wish I could) but very occasionally I've dropped off to sleep sat in an armchair reading the paper or sprawled on my bed doing some admin and been totally shocked when I've woken up. I didn't even feel tired when I sat down!

CeliaNorth · 27/05/2023 11:49

She’s always got ‘such a busy schedule’ with rehearsals, gigs and school teaching

So she's out there earning her living?

Exasperatednow · 27/05/2023 11:49

Think you need to chill. Things happen.

ThirstyThursday · 27/05/2023 11:49

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:32

Maybe it would have been better to apologise and say she was caught in traffic or something?

Get a fucking grip. They accidentally fell asleep, they shouldn't need to lie.

It's not even like you paid in advance & they didn't reschedule the lesson.

Chickenkeev · 27/05/2023 11:51

You seem determined to dislike her. If you're not happy with her, stop using her services. Problem sorted!

Kanaloa · 27/05/2023 11:53

I’m surprised by the responses, I do think it’s very unprofessional. Anyone can oversleep for work, it’s just a mistake, but if I overslept I wouldn’t be sending laughing emojis, I’d be calling and saying I’m so sorry I didn’t show up, I overslept - would you be able to do a different time and if not I will refund you for the lesson.

It’s your job. It’s not funny/cute to not show up, so I don’t think the message sent is appropriate.

Flowerycat · 27/05/2023 11:53

It’s annoying but as long as they replace the lesson or refund you or carry payment over to the next lesson I would let it go.
Most people would have lied but to be honest I like her honesty. She’s tutoring a child and I think that level of honesty is a good thing. It makes me think she is trustworthy. As a one off I would laugh.

Willmafrockfit · 27/05/2023 11:54

Chickenkeev · 27/05/2023 11:51

You seem determined to dislike her. If you're not happy with her, stop using her services. Problem sorted!

agree

Alsoplayspiccolo · 27/05/2023 11:55

I’m a music teacher, teaching from home and on zoom.
Very occasionally, I’m late starting a lesson, usually because I’ve given the previous pupil extra time they haven’t paid for, but sometimes because…life - traffic, other work, family stuff etc.

Very often, pupils are also late, for the same reasons, and I accommodate that, because, you know, stuff happens.

As for thinking that your teacher thinks their time is more valuable than yours, maybe she talks about her other work because musicians generally have to work lots of different jobs to be able to make even a basic income - most professional orchestral musicians also teach, in schools and privately, for example.
The arts, and classical music in particular have been absolutely slammed recently, financially, so maybe your teacher is having to work longer hours to pay her mortgage.

Just a thought.

threelionsonashirt · 27/05/2023 11:56

Well at least she didn't give you a bull shit excuse, sounds like she told you the truth.

threelionsonashirt · 27/05/2023 11:58

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:32

Maybe it would have been better to apologise and say she was caught in traffic or something?

That would make her a liar. Imagine if you found out the truth? You'd then be complaining about that. Don't think this woman can win with you.

ActDottie · 27/05/2023 12:00

I think she shouldn’t have admitted falling asleep! But as a one off I’d let it slide

LolaSmiles · 27/05/2023 12:00

It isn't ideal, but she was honest, apologised and offered a solution.

If they're otherwise good, I wouldn't be bothered.

It sounds like you've got a different axe to grind that online tutoring isn't the centre of the tutor's world.

Chickenkeev · 27/05/2023 12:05

ActDottie · 27/05/2023 12:00

I think she shouldn’t have admitted falling asleep! But as a one off I’d let it slide

Why not though? She's human like the rest of us! There would be literally no benefit lying. The outcome is the same.

Pluvia · 27/05/2023 12:05

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:32

Maybe it would have been better to apologise and say she was caught in traffic or something?

It seems a somewhat naive decision to confess to falling asleep (something she had control over) rather than blame it on traffic. I'd wonder how adult/ professional she's likely to be in other aspects of her work. It gives a pretty slack impression.

Chickenkeev · 27/05/2023 12:08

She slept in ffs! It's not slack, it's human!!! We're not robots, we all have mishaps and make mistakes. Cop yourselves on.

meditated · 27/05/2023 12:22

May be it's a generational thing. As a xennial I'd be super embarrassed to admit falling asleep and missing my booking at 4 in the afternoon.

Yes, for me this is unprofessional and she's losing points on reliability. But, I'm no longer too surprised tbh.

ReliantRobyn · 27/05/2023 12:24

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:28

We’ve been using this tutor for several months, she has come highly recommended and overall we are happy, just find this response out of order.

Then you are a bit of a turnip.

Sigmama · 27/05/2023 12:27

Yes very unprofessional, I've never done anything like that

MargaretThursday · 27/05/2023 12:30

Appletreess · 27/05/2023 11:32

Maybe it would have been better to apologise and say she was caught in traffic or something?

So you'd rather she lied to make it sound better?

I'd far rather she was truthful, and as a one off it wouldn't bother me. I'd have laughed too.

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