To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

[shestakingtheurine]

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

This happened to me on a hen once, only I didn't find out that I'd be sharing a bed until we got there! I ended up sharing a bed with a lovely lady called Elaine. She snored like a tractor and I woke up at 6am to her spooning me. It was an experience.

I was 24 then and more tolerant of hen night hijinks. I think I'd back out now to be honest in your shoes!

I don’t understand why so many people are against it, it’s just sharing a bed with another woman. Are the people saying no worried that they will do something in the night or the person that they’re sharing the bed with will?

Because people don’t want to. They’re allowed their own boundaries.

Oh dear lord no!! This would be an absolute and definite HELL NO!! from me OP!! No fucking chance would I be sharing a double bed with a complete stranger!! I wouldn't even share a double bed with my best friend!

I've decided I'm probably going to have to go with the blow up airbed idea. I'm not thrilled about it but she wants the money by today apparently so I haven't really got much choice. I don't know any of the other people in the group well enough to know if they are just going along with it or are secretly uncomfortable with it. Lesson learnt anyway. I have made suggestions about other activities and she's just said 'no I don't think * would like that' so I gave up.

Fair enough. Have a shit time feeling bitter about sleeping on an airbed! Hopefully the activities are more fun than you imagine

I don’t understand why you feel you have no choice or say in what your money is spent on! Different if she’d been clear about the arrangements but if someone booked a break & unilaterally decided the sleeping arrangements for the whole group without my prior agreement hell would freeze over before I gave her any money

I would put on the group ‘shouldn’t we look for somewhere else seen as it only sleeps 6 and there’s 7 of us?’ and maybe send some alternatives?

Hand on heart here, I'm going to suggest that you might actually know the bride to be better than her MoH.

If you live close to the B2b why don't you pop around for a cuppa and a chat and get their impressions of the planned hen and then post it up. Before money is needed.

Everyone including you.

I think it was petty to tell the group that there is a maximum limit on numbers instead of your actual problem. What are you going to do if she books another one that still requires bed sharing?

Just be honest - "I didn't realise the price was based on bed sharing, I'm not happy to do that for personal reasons. Would you prefer I cancel or book somewhere for just me (recognising that this sadly means the current booking would be £X extra for everyone else) or would you/the group prefer me to look at alternative accomodation options for the group if other people have a preference for their own room? Sorry to be a spanner in the works, I know you've worked so hard to organise this so i just want to find a way forward with minimum fuss! Thanks!"

More fool you than to spend £200 to sleep on the floor.

In that case...you shouldn't be paying the £200 as you've not even got a bed to sleep in!l!

If I were you, I'd quickly find alternative accommodation for all 7 and suggest it in the group. Even if the cost is slightly higher, I expect most would jump at getting their own bed!

Are you usually such a wuss op? Just because she wants the money today doesn't mean you are obliged to cough up!! Tell whr you aren't paying when you haven't got a bed. And if only 6 get in who misses out?

Look stop being such a grump over the pottery painting. It's really hard to organise events for a hen do. It's all out of hand and competitive and ridiculous.

The sleeping situation yeah just pull out now

I don’t understand why some women on MN can’t “rock the boat”.

You put on the chat “only 3 beds for 7 people keep looking”.

£100 pp per night - you can certainly find somewhere that sleeps 7 for that. Will the bride want to share a bed anyway?

I agree that this would be better but it's not clear if the MOH has already paid the full amount herself and is now asking people for money back, in which case finding somewhere else isn't an option. I don't think she should have booked it before checking if so but I don't think she deserves to be £1400 out of pocket for it!

And this! 👍

So many people are apparently unable to use their voice to communicate effectively these days...because they 'don't want to rock the boat' or insist 'I'm a people pleaser'. I despair! 🤦‍♀️

OP...use your voice to communicate your view/opinion/displeasure/whatever! You might find that you actually enjoy being empowered!

Or don't...and continue being taken for a mug/walked over/feeling crap about situations/being used. 🤷‍♀️

You put on the chat “only 3 beds for 7 people keep looking”.

Absolutely!

At a push I'd share a room with my own bed in it!

Why would you have to pay twice if you booked your own place?

We can’t help you.

everyone has said put your foot down.

so you aren’t.

more fool you.

This. How can some people go through life like this.

totally agree @Divamuffin. this would be quiet commone practice for hen parties. they are such hard work to organise. so hard to please people. and the worst is they expect luxeey accommodation Michelin star food and drinks on tap for 50e. I found out after my own hen ( which had been postponed three times due to covid ) from my sister the struggle she had to get accommodation for my own. the hotel also refused to do anything extra at all. like allow balloons to be left in before we arrived etc or deliver champagne fir friends who couldn't come. but it was all she could get.if this was a good friend i would suck it up for one day and night. pottery might not be your cup of tea but it's what is organised. by time going to bed your full of drink food and tired form dancing. plus who were strangers are beginning of the day become friends at the end. if really not happy with accommodation how about doing some research and finding accommodation within the same budget area and date. if you really don't like it at all drop out

She's already paid for it so i'm going to be mighty unpopular if she doesn't get her money back and everyone else's price goes up

Does the bride know any of this?

Who cares? She shouldn't have organised such a shit hen do.