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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

408 replies

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:20

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

OP posts:
EvilElsa · 27/05/2023 17:40

Fuck that. £200 for either a shared bed with a stranger or a shitty blow up bed on the floor? Grim. If that was the standard of planning for the accommodation I dread to think what the rest of it will be like.

Twilightstarbright · 27/05/2023 18:24

In my early 20s the bridesmaids tried to make me share a bed with someone I had never met and I refused and suggested they did and I’d take the double bed they had assigned to themselves! I ended up in a single bed.
I'm in my late 30s now and still don’t want to share a bed with anyone except DH.

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 27/05/2023 18:28

shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 09:33

She's already paid for it so i'm going to be mighty unpopular if she doesn't get her money back and everyone else's price goes up

What is her response when you asked why only enough space for 6 and also I’d say “so we are all sharing a bed?” Just to see what her reply is! I’d be mega uncomfortable too!!

Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 18:35

She says it's my fault for not checking the sleeping arrangements first, i said surely it's a given that there's enough beds for everyone? It's the first thing I would check when booking accommodation that there is enough beds for everyone! She said that she told everyone and everyone was fine with it, i said no you didn't or I would definitely have remembered having that conversation. She said well there's an airbed or a sofa, i said if I would have known before I would have booked my own accommodation and I told her I was pretty pissed of to have to pay 170 quid to sleep on a sofa or an airbed. I am furious tbh how she is trying to turn it into my mistake!

OP posts:
Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 18:36

She then said well there is enough beds for everyone because you are sharing 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Beelezebub · 27/05/2023 18:39

shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 18:36

She then said well there is enough beds for everyone because you are sharing 🤦‍♀️

Is the bride award of this bed sharing shite?

Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 18:41

Bride isn't aware of anything I don't think, been told not to tell her any information or details. Considering having a quiet word with her though.

OP posts:
EvilElsa · 27/05/2023 18:48

She's an idiot. Clearly 3 double beds ISN'T enough for 7 people. Particularly 7 unrelated adults. I'd be furious at being made out to be a liar as well.
Is the bride likely to be ok with it? I might have to let it slip as I can't imagine I'd want to go at this stage.

KinderCat · 27/05/2023 18:55

I could forgive sharing beds tbh, I would probably drink enough so it didn't bother me but then that is probably quite a juvenile means of coping on my part 😅 ...

My bigger worry is your comment about 6 guests max. There are a lot of stories out there of Airbnb guests breaking limits and guests being charged extra after.

Confusion101 · 27/05/2023 18:55

I'd be fine with the sharing of double beds, bit annoyed about the airbed if she didn't tell me in advance but overall would prob suck it up for the bride. I've been on a few hens where this has been the sleeping set up and it didn't really bother me.

RampantIvy · 27/05/2023 19:05

I would be inclined to contact the airbnb hosts and see what they say about having 7 guests for accommodation that only sleeps 6. It would save them turning you away when you all turn up to check in.

HolidayLetter · 27/05/2023 19:32

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 27/05/2023 10:54

You can see the cancellation terms from the Airbnb listing. If it’s still refundable I’d definitely back out. You can also see whether the owners are going to be there. If they are you may find someone gets turned away anyway.

I meet my guests when they arrive. If more guests appeared than the property accommodated, I would turn them away. At the very least, the seventh person would have to go elsewhere, but they would have to sort that out between themselves.

You can't just take an airbed with you in order to accommodate extra guests!

rookiemere · 27/05/2023 19:37

I think it's kind of done now, and it will go nuclear if you start ringing up the Airbnb hostess. Can you check the listing and see how many people it says?
At this point I'd just agree to take the living room and bring an air mattress with you, otherwise you risk upsetting your friend.

Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 19:38

It says six people. I have expressed that I am not very happy with the situation and the sleeping arrangements not being made clear but I have agreed to just take an air bed and be done with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 19:43

She says one of the girls is not staying overnight so it's ok, but she lives 2 hours away and doesn't drive so not quite sure how she's planning on getting home and she's ordering pyjamas which suggests she's not going home. There will still be 7 people in the property wether she stays overnight or not. What a mess.

OP posts:
EvilElsa · 27/05/2023 19:49

Sounds like a right shambles. I'd keep my expectations very low. Presume you will also have to lug along all your own bedding as well for your air bed. Are you driving?

Pixiedust1234 · 27/05/2023 19:51

So if you are supposedly aware of the bed situation where is it in the group chat? Or did she call everyone individually? I'm sorry but it sounds like you are the 7th person if the others know each other.

Just cancel. Let us help you with a realistic excuse (unless shes on here 😳 )

Greentree1 · 27/05/2023 19:54

I would share a bed. I might not ever be in for long on the night. I have slept on the floor for friends;

LostAtTheCrossRoad · 27/05/2023 20:04

For goodness sake just cancel and block the payment if you still can. Definitely have a word with the b2b as well. But your friendship with this group is over anyway.

Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 20:05

They don't all know each other! One is a family member, one a school friend, one an old neighbour and one a university friend. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is unhappy but I'm the only one who is speaking up frustratingly.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 27/05/2023 20:13

It’s two nights just go with the flow … I wouldn’t be bothered about this.

RampantIvy · 27/05/2023 20:15

So, the B2B turns up at her hen and finds our she has to share a bed. How do you think she will react?

I don't understand modern hen dos where the B2B is kept in the dark about the whole thing.

Given the way it is being organised I might give the B2B a few hints about what is happening so she can put her foot down.

RampantIvy · 27/05/2023 20:17

And, in your shoes @shestakingtheurine I would stop pushy footing around the organiser and just tell her you aren't going.

IMO hen dos have become ridiculous these days because there are too many people pleasers afraid to say no.

Mirabai · 27/05/2023 20:19

shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 20:05

They don't all know each other! One is a family member, one a school friend, one an old neighbour and one a university friend. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is unhappy but I'm the only one who is speaking up frustratingly.

Is she aware that some rentals reserve the right to eject anyone over the specified number of guests?

TrippinEdBalls · 27/05/2023 20:21

The bride is surely the person who's least likely to be bothered - she's the only one who will definitely be sharing with someone she knows!

I think OP and the MOH are both at fault here - the MOH should have run the accommodation by people before booking, OP shouldn't have agreed to pay for accommodation that she knew nothing about. I don't think it is a given either that everyone would be happy to share beds or that no one would, so they both should have made their expectations of accommodation clear.

Ultimately, if OP pulls out it'll be a bit annoying for the others but hardly the end of the world - it'll mean they end up paying an extra £34 each. It's probably a better option than the OP being there and sulking all weekend and actually if the current plan is that someone sleeps in the communal area then it'll be a lot nicer for everyone if they're one fewer.