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Original poster

Guest keeps asking me questions when I'm eating...

154 replies

MucozadeOnLucozade · 26/05/2023 07:38

My friend is due to stay with us again and as lovely as she is, she has this annoying habit of firing 101 questions at the dining table when we're eating. After the work of cooking the meal and generally just tired at that point of the day I find it all too much trying to juggle chewing and answering questions. I end up swallowing food that's not been chewed well and eating mouth full or swallowing loads of gas.

Last night I ended up with the most painful indigestion!

How can I tell my guest to just calm it down with the questions at meantime. It's like quickfire and it's obvious she's not remembering what she's asked as she repeats questions.

I just want to eat and enjoy food without the interogation!!

OP posts:
howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 26/05/2023 16:19

You say your friend is due to stay with us. How many people is us? Can you tag team / take it in turn to respond to your chatty friend?

Juggler99 · 26/05/2023 22:57

This is such a timely post. DS’s girlfriend does this. It’s literally questions fired one after the other so I can’t eat or relax (or think!!). I don’t know how to deal with it. DH says she’s making an effort/trying to be nice/feeling nervous…but to me it just seems rude.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/05/2023 02:05

I had a coworker like this. My response was to point to my (obviously chewing) mouth, hold my finger up in the universal 'just a moment' gesture, and continue chewing. Then I'd swallow, pick up my beverage, take a sip, wipe my mouth with a napkin and say "What was it you asked again?". Some of the time she'd just say "Never mind", some of the time she'd repeat the question, but most of the time she'd have moved on to chattering about some other topic and I could go back to eating.

CloseCurledLeaf · 27/05/2023 07:53

Oh goodness, I had this at a posh birthday party, millions of courses, and I had a lovely couple either side firing questions at me. I could barely eat a thing, thank goodness every plate was small, but it was all cold.
Apparently the food was delicious, but although lovely, they were exhausting, truly exhausting
I feel your pain

rileynexttime · 27/05/2023 09:16

I think @AcrossthePond55 the pond has it

My response was to point to my (obviously chewing) mouth, hold my finger up in the universal 'just a moment' gesture, and continue chewing. Then I'd swallow, pick up my beverage, take a sip, wipe my mouth with a napkin and say "What was it you asked again?"

Original poster
MucozadeOnLucozade · 27/05/2023 11:24

As someone above said, I don't think I actually tasted any part of the food, but all gulped down. Trying to hard to please the guest. Baring in mind this is the evening and questions have been fired all day so respite at meal times.

I went on holiday with this friend, and in the hotel she was talking non stop and suddenly the whole room fell silent.... She's fallen asleep!!! Literally wore herself out! Then an hour later she woke up and carried on the same conversation. That was very freaky!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Thesharkradar · 27/05/2023 12:35

You need to stop being such a dormat OP.
If you keep lying on the floor people will keep wiping their feet on you.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 27/05/2023 16:37

Thesharkradar · 27/05/2023 12:35

You need to stop being such a dormat OP.
If you keep lying on the floor people will keep wiping their feet on you.

Her yappy friend doesn't have an off button. Why does that make OP a doormat? She's asking for ideas how to manage the yappy friend, not character assassination for herself 🤣😂 geeze get over yourself

Maloneyb · 27/05/2023 17:45

Set those boundaries
just say let’s talk about this after dinner

and enjoy your food!

Becgoz7 · 27/05/2023 17:53

Sounds like you are putting too much food in 🤔

Ilovecleaning · 27/05/2023 18:08

I don’t know why some people are criticising you, OP. Your guest sounds a right PITA who can’t read the room. Anyone with half a brain knows that leisurely conversation is expected when we’re eating, not quick fire questions. I’d say ‘Ask me about that later. Let’s just chill out for now.’ Keep repeating if necessary.

masterblaster · 27/05/2023 18:24

I think both of you need to learn how to have dinner.

diddl · 27/05/2023 18:45

So when you sit down to eat-tell her "no interrogation please!"

Or do what most people do-answer when ready.

It's not that hard to chat whist eating.

Especially the examples you've given.

Pupinski · 27/05/2023 18:54

Just show your meal down. Sounds like you're trying to rush mealtimes. If you don't like conversion during mealtimes, I'd bet there are a lot more things you don't like about your friend staying with you. Right?

ididntknowthat11 · 27/05/2023 19:06

MucozadeOnLucozade · 27/05/2023 11:24

As someone above said, I don't think I actually tasted any part of the food, but all gulped down. Trying to hard to please the guest. Baring in mind this is the evening and questions have been fired all day so respite at meal times.

I went on holiday with this friend, and in the hotel she was talking non stop and suddenly the whole room fell silent.... She's fallen asleep!!! Literally wore herself out! Then an hour later she woke up and carried on the same conversation. That was very freaky!!!!!!!

That is really strange!

Is she elderly? Or was she drunk?

Does she live alone? It sounds like she's lonely and wants to make the most of company when she has it

CantFindMyMarbles · 27/05/2023 19:19

Dinner table conversation is perfectly normal.
perhaps she asks so many questions because you’re not engaging in conversation.
conversation won’t cause indigestion

2bazookas · 27/05/2023 19:31

I find it all too much trying to juggle chewing and answering questions. I end up swallowing food that's not been chewed well and eating mouth full or swallowing loads of gas.

Then just don't. While you have food on your fork or in your mouth, don't make eye contact with her and totally ignore her quickfire questions until you have finished, swallowed, and are ready to speak.

YOU can control the speed of conversation by just not speaking. Your silence will penetrate her thick hide eventually.

ShinyCaptain · 27/05/2023 20:12

You gave yourself indigestion and blamed your guest.

Timebomb1 · 27/05/2023 20:32

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 26/05/2023 07:45

Indicate that you're still eating, then continue to chew very slowly, swallow, take a sip of wine, a nice deep sigh then answer. Do this every time. I'm sure eventually she will get the message. Or do what my older DC do and open your phone and stick your earphones in and enjoy your dinner in peace. Always works for them! Grin

😂

Back21970 · 27/05/2023 20:36

Maybe the OP hasn’t explained this well enough (for some people, anyway) but it would seriously annoy me too!

Yes, of course you don’t have to sit in silence but come on, that sounds ridiculous, and surely she can see it’s making you uncomfortable?

Just read the last update and burst out laughing, you are definitely not being unreasonable OP😂

owdlass · 27/05/2023 20:52

You know like when your practise nurse asks that you don't speak while she's doing your blood pressure, and you accept that? Well. Just tell your mate' I hope you don't mind but I get flatulence if I speak when eating. The medics don't care, and if it's put in a tactful way, why not say . Everyone enjoys their food and has a right to eat in peace.

EarthMama1969 · 27/05/2023 21:11

She really does sound rude and clueless! She can see that you're chewing, but keeps repeating the question until you answer? What a jerk! Do what I do, while chewing, just hold up one finger with a polite smile indicating that you need to finish your mouthful. You then might (with a smile) say that you hate talking with your mouthful. Unless she is a real idiot, she should take the hint.

Xrays · 27/05/2023 21:12

Treecreature · 26/05/2023 08:02

Oh you are my people!! I love to eat in silence, I want to enjoy my food! I dont want to talk to somebody while it gets cold. Yeah, I'm a grump.

Same. 🙈😁

whatwasIgoingtosay · 27/05/2023 21:16

I am with you OP. I LOATHE being asked lots of questions when I am eating. DH does this and it's not conversation, it's interrogation and it's anti-social. I love eating alone and in silence

NigellaAwesome · 27/05/2023 21:21

You use universal sign language - hand up to her, point at your mouth, do a continuous circle motion at your mouth. Nod your head at the same time for extra emphasis.