Guest keeps asking me questions when I'm eating...

[MucozadeOnLucozade]

My friend is due to stay with us again and as lovely as she is, she has this annoying habit of firing 101 questions at the dining table when we're eating. After the work of cooking the meal and generally just tired at that point of the day I find it all too much trying to juggle chewing and answering questions. I end up swallowing food that's not been chewed well and eating mouth full or swallowing loads of gas.

Last night I ended up with the most painful indigestion!

How can I tell my guest to just calm it down with the questions at meantime. It's like quickfire and it's obvious she's not remembering what she's asked as she repeats questions.

I just want to eat and enjoy food without the interogation!!

This is just a standard conversational skill. Just before you take a big mouthful, you ask the other person a question. Surely everyone knows that.

My husband has this bad habit too. It drives me mad. Now I chew slowly, put my hand up and point to my mouth. I don't rush it and just answer him after I'm done chewing.

Ahhhhhhh, that's giving me flashbacks. Not nice ones.

You clearly have my friend visiting.

Well, ex-friend.

In ex-friend's case it's not nervousness, it's attention-seeking. The PP who said it sounded like their 6-yr-old has it spot on. They've learnt that asking questions, rather than making statements, focuses the other person's attention on them.

Hence also your friend's "inability" to retain what you say in answer. It never was a search for information; they probably don't take in a word you say – just as long as you are gazing at them instead of getting on with your own business (eating).

In ex-friend's case it was part of a constant pattern of manipulative, self-absorbed behaviour which became just too much.

Sounds like she is trying to start a conversation. I can see her point if you are sat there in silence as it can be awkward. Why don’t you try asking questions. Being able to hold conversations over the dinner table in my opinion is basic social skills.

<high-five to @Treecreature >

Just get in first and do the same to her. Every time she puts a forkful of food In Her mouth bombard her with stupid inane questions

What's this nonsense trying to claim the OP "sitting in silence"?

She clearly isn't - or she wouldn't be suffering indigestion trying to swallow quickly and answer all the questions. Also, she says she feels like a bad host if she doesn't reply, so clearly she does reply.

It's her quizmaster who isn't "making conversation" politely.

She sounds well annoying

After the work of cooking the meal and generally just tired at that point of the day

Oh solidarity ! I have a good friend who visits and while I can manage the meal itself ,I just want to collapse in front of the TV afterwards .She wants to remain at the table and have long philosophical debates .On our hard dining chairs and harsh kitchen lighting .

It's rude to ask anyone a question until you note they have finished eating,I time it to when they are selecting their next bite and ask then.yanbu,your guest is.I would suggest mentioning you have reflux and can't talk too much and eat then play some music in the background.

I have said YABU - because you are not chewing your food and swallowing it in a rush. Your guest didn't ask you to do that.

Let your guest wait. Take your time chewing and answer the last question only. Then eat your next mouthful and chew properly and then answer .

1-2-skip a few-99-100

I think this has to be the most sensible advice ever!! 🤣

How about asking her not to do it, or to tone it down a bit?

Why not get nicer chairs and lighting?

Just carry on chewing and ignore her, maybe occasionally say sorry I can't eat and talk it gives me indigestion, or put a radio phone in on and tell her to listen to that

My FIL does this. It's not normal dinner conversation it's being pelted with questions!! It's like he has to fill any silence. Instead of what are you up to tomorrow and a bit of chit chat, it's 100 questions one after the other often unrelated to each other and he has no interest in the answer. He just immediately asks another. I chew normally and answer when I'm ready because I realised that when I reply I just get more. So now I make him wait for my reply while I chew, swallow, have a drink etc to try to make it more like a normal conversation pace.

Finish your mouthful after chewing it slowly
No wonder you get indigestion if you swallow fast just to answer a question
She's actually being rude by expecting an immediate answer

I understand - I'm happy to chat while eating. But knew someone who would fire questions at a constant rate. He was a nice guy, but I think he just enjoyed questions rather than wanting the answer as he'd often interrupt my response to ask more questions.

I found he wasn't too bothered if I missed answering some questions, he'd just keep asking new ones. So I'd eat and chip in periodically rather than try to keep up

Eh our family table at tea time would be boring as heck if it wasn't full of chat and banter each evening

What a totally weird post

Are people deliberately misunderstanding ? This isn't normal chat, it's just questions from one person, being fired one after the other.

You don’t think that is a bit of an exaggeration, or do you take everything so literally? Nobody fires questions like that.

I'm taking the OP at her word.

Ok then just let her ask all of these questions and chew normally. When you’ve swallowed then answer all at once.

Yes they’re great potatoes I buy the from a farmer down the road who charges 3 per bushel…I just roast them with garlic and oil. Do you have any farm stands near you?

Take another bite. Let her ask a bunch of questions…swallow and answer as many as you can remember.

😂😂😂😂chew your food fgs. That's so extreme. She's not expecting you to make your self Ill. She's just making conversation, which is a normal part of a meal time.