Guest keeps asking me questions when I'm eating...

[MucozadeOnLucozade]

My friend is due to stay with us again and as lovely as she is, she has this annoying habit of firing 101 questions at the dining table when we're eating. After the work of cooking the meal and generally just tired at that point of the day I find it all too much trying to juggle chewing and answering questions. I end up swallowing food that's not been chewed well and eating mouth full or swallowing loads of gas.

Last night I ended up with the most painful indigestion!

How can I tell my guest to just calm it down with the questions at meantime. It's like quickfire and it's obvious she's not remembering what she's asked as she repeats questions.

I just want to eat and enjoy food without the interogation!!

Me too. I will happily chat before and after I've had my meal, but not during it.

It sounds a bit melodramatic. You have to swallow food you haven’t chewed and ‘can’t juggle chewing and talking?’ If you’re so extremely exhausted by dinner time that you can’t manage finishing a bite of food then talking to a guest, maybe scale back on the dinner guests. You don’t have to have people to dinner if it makes you incapable of chewing your food.

And by the way, if you hold your hand up in the stop sign or give a mumsnet approved pompous little speech that sounds like you’re talking to a two year old you will look and sound like an utter moron. If you feel the need to resort to that just don’t invite someone since you’re exhausted and can’t find a way to chew before and after talking.

Invite someone chatty to dine with you - they will sustain the conversation and you can relax and chow down.

Questions are like.... Yum yum where did you buy these potatoes? How did you cook them? Where do you shop? How much were they? How often do you buy them? How often do you shop? Where do you shop?

Just pointless bloody questions.

Sounds like she can't handle silent eating and is desperately babbling to fill the void.

She’s clearly trying to make conversation. Conversation should be a two way street. So you should make conversation back. Ask her questions, talk about your day, ask about hers. This is how conversation works. You are clearly not engaging in conversation, hence she’s asking daft questions so you’re not noth sitting in awkward silence.

Then just point at your mouth and chew slightly more ostentatiously. The first time, say something like "Didn't want to spit crumbs over you". Do the same all the way through.

And yes, smaller mouthfuls.

Just look at her pointedly whilst chewing slowly

Does she just ask all these questions repeatedly without waiting for an answer while you are chewing?

I wouldn't swallow unchewed food to answer a question about potatoes. Just point to your mouth and wait til you have finished your mouthful.

Do you ask questions back or just answer them and make her feel like she has to ask something else?

I would be honest with her and say that you are happy to have a conversation over dinner (when she starts her inevitable verbal diarrhoea), but can she chill out with quick fire questions and just go with the flow - appreciate the good company and food. Maybe suggest they talk about their day (while you nod and agree).

I know what you mean OP, I had a friend like that: ask a question, you’d start to reply and she’d interrupt with a follow-up, then another, you’d restart your original interrupted answer and three more questions would come flying back. That’s not conversation over dinner, that’s Crystal Maze 10 seconds or you’re locked in levels of stress.

You say she's due to stay but that you had indigestion from it last night?

I'd just take my time, chew properly and she will have to wait for my reply.

I know exactly what you mean op as my mum does this! You’re always rushing to chew and swallow your food. Meanwhile she’s still sitting there an hour later having eaten hardly anything! I can’t take 2 hrs to eat my meals, I have stuff to do!

I world agree with the advice already given. Just make her wait until you’ve finished your mouthful of food and taken a drink before you answer. I do this and with my mum and she just keeps on talking at me, but at least I get to eat!

Yanbu some of my relatives are like this

I'm exactly the same

If she's a good enough friend to invite for dinner, she's a good enough friend to just make her wait while you eat your food. Can't you just ask her about something instead like "tell me all about your holidays this year" or something that needs a long explanation then sit back and listen.

I hate talking and eating. I hate eating and doing anything else. When i was young i went on a few silent retreats when you could just eat and enjoy the food. I think that set my bar! Sometimes my dh will come in for a kiss goodbye or hello when I'm eating and i hate that too!

She sounds like my 6 year old 🤣

Just finish chewing the food and then answer, or answer with a question.

I saw someone on YouTube, French but I can’t remember the name now. She said when French people have this situation they finish the mouthful, have a drink, then wipe their face with a napkin before speaking. Maybe adopt their system until she gets the message.

Ask her to tell a few stories from her childhood that you know will involve a lot of details from her.

I have no idea how you cope with this horrific predicament!

I'm out.

Answer her questions with your mouth full and spray food all over her

Was that a French person? They don’t tend to do this as much at home. More likely in polite company. But it is a good system. My mil used to talk non stop and she had a tea towel she used to cover her face with to talk and eat. And if you are going French, you reuse cutlery and perhaps plates between courses and napkins a few times.

Anyway back to the op. Can you reply Tesco and ask some open ended questions? Eg What is your favourite dish and how do you prepare it? Then if you’re asked other questions, maybe go with telling her you are starving but would like to hear about her job or pet hamster etc and you will send her the recipe or fill her in later.