what a surprise..it has started!

[momager1]

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

Ooh my phone had a funny five minutes then! Sorry. Meant to say fabulous job OP, you've handled things brilliantly!

Oh thank you, can’t wait! :)

from Ireland, and if you'll have me, I'll bring loads of tayto, I'll even throw in a 12 pack of different flavours, not sure where to get germolene, but I'll bring 2 tubs of sudocrem and some clonakility black pudding, for a week. 😄and a bottle of red lemonade

Amazing response.
I got closure for all the other threads where OPs are wishy-washy pushovers in the name of being polite. 😄

This was a joke right? These are Canadian? Just reply that that will not work for you. And then put them on block.

Brava OP!

Couple 1 sound nice. They definitely deserve a dinner invite.
Couple 3: I mean, I kind of have to admire the sheer brass neck of them. But your responses are spot on. Fuck em. Enjoy your retirement.
And can I come over some time for the lasagna and cheesecake?

This 😊👍

Nip this in the bud straight away. Just say no! We’ve done the same but to Portugal and the first year we lived here one family member landed themselves on us for 6 months out of the first year over several trips. Do not let it get to that point, set the expectations now so you don’t have to wait for a massive argument later down the line. Good luck.

That;s so annoying and stressful. Tell them you have been so bombarded with people (you hardly know) wanting to stay that you don't think you heart or nerves can take it! So for your physical and mental health it's a permanent ''NO''!
Add you had no idea people could be so cheeky!

Following for the recipes!

well done op

Couple 3 are unbelievable OP.

I didn't think I knew people like this.

How wrong I was.

I'm a member of an activity group.

Lovely couple, though I'd already twigged himself avoided his round. To Olympian standards.

We have a mutual (extremely loose) acquaintance.

Turns out that, despite the very tenuous link, couple managed to blag a free holiday FOR 15 YEARS!

And seem to be quite proud of it.

Like - how do you even go about arranging a freebie EVERY YEAR when you barely know the homeowner.

The BRASS NECK of some people.

I’m honestly stunned by the audacity of family 3 😮

That lasagna looks epic! I think you have handled a very tough situation really well. Anyone who tells their kids they are going on a holiday to someone’s home before they have received confirmation from the home owner deserves to be told to F off!!!

Pretty cheeky of you to take a long beach walk and leave us waiting for the recipes! 😁

OP can I have your mars bar cheese cake recipe please? From a fellow Canadian

Well done @momager1
Very well managed! 👏👏👏

Well done op! Honestly what CFs!

Gets passport

😍

In shock at the initial CFery of couple 3 but the fact that they were going to involve OP's daughter after being told no is astonishing.

The couple with kids would just ask to use the place if they aren’t there.

Nicely done op. I'm mainly here now for marsbar cheesecake ...

I think you just have to make out it's tiny and definitely no room. I think you can buy Lays Cheese and Onion in DR as I'm sure I lived off something like that on my honeymoon. Almost as good as Tayto. I'm fortunate that Morrisons in England has an Irish aisle as part of their World Foods so can get both Tayto and Chocolate Kimberley's.

Wow Op you are awesome, can I be your new best friend? I don't enjoy travel, so won't try to blag a free stay and am celiac and LI, so won't expect dinners (though am happy to drool over your food pics). However I will demand politely request more puppy pics, they are adorable!😍

OP, I would just say to all of them, 'Sorry, hosting house guests was never on our agenda for our 2 bed retirement condo. Of course, it would be lovely to see you during your holiday should you decide to come out, but I'm afraid that you will need to find your own accommodation for your trip.