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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what a surprise..it has started!

598 replies

momager1 · 25/05/2023 20:52

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
HouseOfRunners · 25/05/2023 20:56

Block.
Lovely sigh of relief.
Glass of wine 🍷

flyingtherag · 25/05/2023 20:56

Just reply saying no that won't work for you as you're enjoying not hosting now you're retired.

LubaLuca · 25/05/2023 20:56

Easy. "We won't be able to have guests." That's the end of it. They're not going to come back with questions, so leave it ambiguous in regards to whether this is beyond your control or not.

mamakoukla · 25/05/2023 20:57

The last two… nice try but no. The first couple - would you want them over at some future date?

I would simply keep it as lovely to hear from you, ongoing work and plans, love to meet up if you’re over on holiday but we aren’t accepting house guests at present.

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 25/05/2023 20:58

Sorry we aren't up to hosting. Hope you get somewhere organised for your holiday /Xmas..
Then block.

Merryoldgoat · 25/05/2023 20:59

I’d just send the cry-laughing emoji.

Cheeky twats.

Divebar2021 · 25/05/2023 20:59

I’d be tempted to just reply “😂”

On a serious note was there any conversation about visiting when you left?

mbosnz · 25/05/2023 21:00

Family number three - 'you're having a laugh, right? You can't be serious. Nope. Just Nope. In the words of the song, 'never gonna happen, never gonna happen'. . .

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 25/05/2023 21:03

Send them links to nearby hotels and restaurants.

DisforDarkChocolate · 25/05/2023 21:03

For the ones you like 'we'd love to meet up for dinner one night if you're in our area'.

For the one you don't like, 'that doesn't work for us' (then block).

EdieLedwell · 25/05/2023 21:03

The last family 😂. "Enjoy your cooking" ie, feed us all week for free at CHRISTMAS.

Also, "their bathroom"?

And kids sleeping in the living room means everyone has to go to bed early. Shocking levels of CFery

ShandaLear · 25/05/2023 21:03

‘Hi, we’re not set up for hosting, but if you’re staying in a nearby hotel we’d love to meet up for a meal or drinks.’

FatherJoseFernandez · 25/05/2023 21:04

‘It’s not actually our retirement home, it’s a leper colony’

Hell121 · 25/05/2023 21:04

Couple one I would consider the other 2 a hard no - just say you will travelling all year as newly retired and won’t be having guests at all

TomatoSandwiches · 25/05/2023 21:04

People have no shame.

Just tell 2 and 3 their is no open invitation, your condo is not a hotel.

If it suits you to accept a visit from couple 1 then offer dates when it's acceptable to you on the provision they do not divulge where or who they are staying with.

Your retirement sounds lovely btw!

TomatoSandwiches · 25/05/2023 21:05

There* fgs.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 25/05/2023 21:07

Why do feel obliged to reply?
Just ignore!

Tellmeimcrazy · 25/05/2023 21:07

"Lovely to hear from you, but we aren't having guests unless it's family. If you do decide to come and are staying in a hotel/air bnb nearby pls let us know. We'd love to pop over for a coffee or drink one evening if we aren't travelling and exploring the country!"

BellaJuno · 25/05/2023 21:07

I’d reply “You wouldn’t believe the number of people asking to stay with us! We’re not hosting anyone for the forseeable as we settle in to our new life but if you end up in the area, do let us know and we’ll meet up for dinner”

Tellmeimcrazy · 25/05/2023 21:08

And whatever you do DO NOT disclose your home address!!!

Wishawisha · 25/05/2023 21:09

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 25/05/2023 21:07

Why do feel obliged to reply?
Just ignore!

I think replying in particular to the 3rd set of guests is important. If they are cheeky enough to want to impose over charismas, assume one of your bathroom would be theirs and that you will cook for them they won’t take the hint.

I’d say something to couple 3 along the lines of “we’re looking forward to having a quiet Christmas the two of us this year but if you’re ever in the area please let us know and we would love to meet up for a meal”.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 25/05/2023 21:10

Couple 3 definitely have "Mexican house thief" type potential

FrenchandSaunders · 25/05/2023 21:11

Wow cheeky fuckers!!

WildFlowerBees · 25/05/2023 21:12

I'd block and ignore 2 & 3 and reply to 1 saying you aren't having guests for the foreseeable. The brass neck of some people!

ymemanresu · 25/05/2023 21:12

Now be brutally honest Grin OP, did you in any way ( to be polite like the British do ) imply that they could visit?