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Original poster

To think I'm spending more than DP on petrol on the holiday?

117 replies

PandoraRocks · 24/05/2023 17:14

DP and I are going away. We don't live together so have separate expenses etc.
I've just spent £100 filling the tank and that will get us to our destination towing a caravan. I've asked DP for half the cost of the petrol but he's said that instead of that, I'll return home with a full tank so I'll have the benefit of a replacement tank of petrol. Problem is he expects me to pay half of that tank. The way I see it, I'm paying for 1.5 tanks of petrol but he says I'll have a full tank when I get home which he won't be using.

Am I being dense here?🤯 I just think it would be fairer if we paid halves for the petrol as we use it on the holiday and when we're back it should be near empty.

OP posts:
BallandBoe · 24/05/2023 17:18

Presumably you are doing the driving?

If you've paid for the petrol there, he pays for the petrol back.

Tiredforfive45 · 24/05/2023 17:21

I don’t think what he says makes financial sense but surely if you’re in a relationship this is a bit of a non issue?

Can’t he just buy the wine and snacks
for the holiday and you can call
it quits?

CatherinedeBourgh · 24/05/2023 17:23

I'm confused, will the tank cover all the petrol you will use in the holidays? If so he is right, you would be no worse off if he covers half of your fill at the end of the holidays, as he'll have paid half of a full tank and you will have used a full tank over the holidays.

If you will need to fill again during the holidays, then he needs to cover half of that too.

But fundamentally he's not wrong (provided you use at least one tank during the holidays) that you will be no worse off than you would have been if he pays half of all petrol from here in until the point where you are back home and your tank is full.

gooseduckchicken · 24/05/2023 17:24

When he says you are going to return home with a full tank, does he mean he is going to fill the tank upon your return from the holiday?

So there's three fills - one to get there paid by you; one to get home shared between both of you; and he pays for a fill when you get home? If so, that's fair. Any other way is not fair.

greennotepad · 24/05/2023 17:25

I couldn't be in a relationship that splits hairs about money this way!

PuttingDownRoots · 24/05/2023 17:25

What DH does with friends...

Start trip with full tank. At end of trip they fill the tank again, and split the cost if that refill. Any interim refills also split.

ButterCrackers · 24/05/2023 17:25

He expects you to pay half for the full tank he will get so he should pay half for the full tank you got.

Pixiedust1234 · 24/05/2023 17:26

If he's going to quibble over giving you petrol money then invoice the twat for wear and tear of your vehicle.

Merryoldgoat · 24/05/2023 17:27

greennotepad · 24/05/2023 17:25

I couldn't be in a relationship that splits hairs about money this way!

Me either.

Floralnomad · 24/05/2023 17:28

greennotepad · 24/05/2023 17:25

I couldn't be in a relationship that splits hairs about money this way!

Agree with this .

AlisonDonut · 24/05/2023 17:28

If this is before the holiday, then as long as by the end, you have a full tank again and you go halves on all the fuel for the full holiday then it will be even.

Why not both put £100 in the kitty which pays for all the food, expenses and the tank refil at the end, and split the remainder left at the end?

UltraWarrior · 24/05/2023 17:29

ButterCrackers · 24/05/2023 17:25

He expects you to pay half for the full tank he will get so he should pay half for the full tank you got.

I agree with this.
Either he pays half of both tanks or you buy one each?

cocksstrideintheevening · 24/05/2023 17:32

You're arguing over £50? Who could be arsed with that?

CatherinedeBourgh · 24/05/2023 17:32

gooseduckchicken · 24/05/2023 17:24

When he says you are going to return home with a full tank, does he mean he is going to fill the tank upon your return from the holiday?

So there's three fills - one to get there paid by you; one to get home shared between both of you; and he pays for a fill when you get home? If so, that's fair. Any other way is not fair.

Not quite right, they should share both the tanks they fill. Otherwise the dp is subsidising OP (paying one and a half tanks when they've only used two on holiday, they should pay one each).

PaigeMatthews · 24/05/2023 17:33

I dont understand this is at all. Is it £100 in petrol each way? So you pay £100 there, you both pay £50 on the way back, then he fills it up with £100 when you get home?

Dodger101 · 24/05/2023 17:33

If you return with a full tank then he is right. You have just paid for a full tank, you will get a full tank to use by yourself if you return with a full tank. He will pay half and you pay the other half of the tank that will be used when you are away.

If it makes you feel better he could pay for half of this tank that will be used on the holiday and you could pay by yourself for another full tank after the holiday but it will cost you the same and him the same. It is the same. You will use a full tank on holiday and he will pay for half of a full tank.

pinkfondu · 24/05/2023 17:34

Ick hate this type of thing.

If he puts it back to full then you have both paid the same

Ilikewinter · 24/05/2023 17:35

Cant you just chuck all spending on a card, or put in a kitty, and then split the cost afterwards?. I dont think I could be bothered with working out who owes what when....unless theres more to the story and your DP is a tight arse!!

PaigeMatthews · 24/05/2023 17:36

Or just make it simple and say travel costs are £200. You need his £100 share asap.

TallerThanAverage · 24/05/2023 17:36

How long have you been exclusively together? He’s said he’s going to put some fuel in the car so I don’t understand what the problem is? To you keep a running total of petrol, meals, drinks, gifts?

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/05/2023 17:38

Bloody hell you sound like hard work.
Has he paid for any the holiday?

Nordicrain · 24/05/2023 17:40

greennotepad · 24/05/2023 17:25

I couldn't be in a relationship that splits hairs about money this way!

This really.

I assume you pay for the whole tank, don't use the whole tank, he then fills up and you then use the same again? So you come home with what you left with? Is that right? If so, surely that's ok.

LusciousLondoner · 24/05/2023 17:41

DP is a non-driver and has no idea how expensive fuel is. When we started to use Splitwise it became obvious how much I'd been subsidising him! We started to use it when my income reduced and I couldn't afford to pay for everything like I used to.

1FootInTheRave · 24/05/2023 17:42

Whose car and caravan are they?

Who's doing the driving?

penniesmakeshillingsandshillingsmakepounds · 24/05/2023 17:43

I couldn't live in a "tally keeping* relationship like this. Sounds more like a trip with a work colleague.